Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Is This Horse Dead Yet?

Do I complain a lot about how tired I get by the end of the day? How annoyed and irritable I feel some days after about 6:00pm? It seems to be a recurring theme in my life, hence a recurring theme in ye olde blog.

Sorry.

But MAN! Some evenings I have just HAD IT! I feel so completely DONE with mothering.

Tonight, for example, I was responding to the San Mateo Daily News sports editor about ARG's fencing team; looking up info, typing in names and ages.... real exciting stuff I do for my personal entertainment, ya know?

And the kids. were. being. KIDS!

"Mom! Want me to teach you how to make a tea cup and saucer out of string?"
"Mommy! I want milk, not water."
"Stop! StoooOOOOooop! He keeps touching me!"
"Ooooh," (ARG hovering over my shoulder) "What'cha doing?"

Every new "Mom!" was like nails on a chalk board. In my mind I'm thinking, "Delete. Delete. Delete" as if I could just hit a button and make them go away.

They weren't even being seriously bad. It's just that if I am in the room, I am their point of reference for everything. I am the center of their universe. Every thought. Every need. Every disagreement. Requires. Me.

That's not kids misbehaving. That's just kids. It's what I signed up for. But just like any job or career, there are moments when you just need it to go away (temporarily of course).

I know the old "Calgon take me away!" is probably getting clich├ęd, and doesn't sufficiently express how much I truly didn't care what my kids wanted in that moment.

I suppose in a day or two I'll have to write an exculpatory post replete with assurances of how much I adore and love my children (because I really do).

But tonight - they're going to bed early.

2 comments:

ciara said...

i find that it's like that w mothers in general. would kids be bothered to say 'daaaad' this and 'daaaad' that? nope. well, except for my stepson because my husband has custody of him. it's so frustrating and you want them to be quiet for just 5 mins, but when they're not there making all the noise (like in my case), you miss the heck out of em! go figure! lol :)

did you have your tests today?

Sue said...

yes!

hashimoto update coming. all good news.