Keeping School Simple

I just read this blog post about homeschooling, and how we should keep things simple. The gist of it is that as long as your kids are reading or hearing great literature and doing math once a week, they'll be fine (ie. get into college and survive in the world).

I understand that the move to "keep school simple" is a response to the busy, stressful way a lot of homeschool parents educate their kids. Parents overburden themselves and their kids with too many assignments, tests, activities...etc. The terrible responsibility of educating your child, the fears of not doing a good enough job, not to mention the plethora of intense homeschool plans (Well Trained Mind anyone?) can lead a parent to compensate by becoming an overachiever.

One thing I have learned after homeschooling for eleven years is that educating your children at home is a monumental balancing act. It is alluring to believe that "one way" is the right way for your family, and that you'll stick to it forever. But the truth is that there are so many factors, so many considerations that a homeschool parent can't afford to rigidly adhere to any one approach, whether it is "keeping school simple" or otherwise.

I have had to flex and adjust my teaching approach several times over the years. I still question and doubt and change the way I homeschool.  One of the first (and most important) lessons I learned was that, as the teacher and mom of the family, my needs were just as important as the kids'. I was intensely uncomfortable when I tried the "unschooling" approach in the grade school years, and for right or wrong, I had to change things up. You know what they say, "if Mama ain't happy...." Learning to balance assignments with free exploration time was hard, and at times clunky. But I valued my feelings enough to craft an approach that didn't drive me crazy, but was still a stretch.

Another reality I've had to face is that (unfortunately) standardized tests such as the SAT/ACT and Subject Tests are especially critical for homeschooled students who plan to attend a four year university. At the high school level, a student must be able to write well, have a deep understanding language, have a good grasp of advanced math, and thoroughly know the specific subject material studied (eg. history, chemistry).

Let's face it, what child will spontaneously discover how to write a well organized, interesting five paragraph essay? And doing math once a week will not give a student adequate mastery to test well. The truth is, at the high school level, students must be prepared and able to study rigorously, even if they don't love the subject. With that in mind, it is unfair to allow a child complete academic freedom with no requirements prior to high school.

Also, I don't agree with "Keep it Simple's" assertion that everything a children learns before 7th grade will be forgotten. If a subject is taught once, and never seen again, then I agree the child probably won't retain it. But with cyclical repetition of subject matter, even if done casually and in a fun way, students do learn and retain knowledge. Keeping subjects to a minimum in the early years makes repeating them easy.

That said, I agree that early grade school children should learn mostly through play or pleasant experiences. An atmostphere of fun and creativity goes far in fostering a love of learning.  At this age, I think "Keeping it Simple" applies beautifully. If young homeschool parents realized what was ahead of them, they would relax and cherish the special times with their young students.

But it is unrealistic to think that students will be prepared for high school, and later, college level work if they have never been required to learn and work at tasks and subjects that are difficult. Thankfully, by high school, most students are mature enough to realize that their future depends upon their education, and are willing to do the work (though perhaps not joyously).

In the end, homeschooling through the years is a lot like yoga. It takes a lot of balancing and stretching! We balance joyful learning and required learning, our kids' needs and our own, our aspirations and our fears. We stretch into approaches that are uncomfortable, while remembering to value our own feelings. Figuring out the balance that works is the trick, and is unique to each family.

Beautiful Birthday Girl

As I write five young ladies aged 12 - 16 are playing a game in my family room. Said ladies are here to help my most awesome daughter, Rosie, celebrate her 12th birthday.

Here are the things that make a tween birthday party complete:
- cheese puffs
- ABBA
- peanut butter cups
- balloons, streamers...etc.
- lemon meringue pie (which sadly did not turn out well)
- LOTS of louds voices and giggling
- pizza
- I Love Lucy
- sleeping bags, pillows and various stuffed animals

And when I say loud, I mean surprisingly, ear splittingly loud. I am always amazed at how loud girls can be when they get together. ARG and his friends were NEVER this loud.

Hubby has taken MiniMe out for a few hours so she won't be annoyingly underfoot. As much as I wish my children lovingly got along all the time, Rosie made it clear that MiniMe was not to be present at most of her party.

So I am here, holding down the fort. Being present, but trying not to listen too hard or cramp their style. Pretty soon I have to punch the dough and start rolling out the pizza pies.

I like to remember the night Rosie was born. I tried to explain to her today that I had wanted to do a water birth. The tub was full of warm water and I was hoping the heat and bouyancy would help alleviate some of the pain and discomfort. But instead I ended up on our living room floor because I couldn't walk after the midwife checked me mid-labor. I walked miles all day to bring on and strengthen the contractions, but I couldn't make it 15 feet once I was near transition.

We didn't know for sure she was  a girl, and we were SO HAPPY when she was! Her birth wasn't as long as her brother's, but longer than her little sister's. I suppose it was my easiest birth, if you can put those two words together in a sentence.

Rosie was a calm, beautiful baby and was always full of love as a little girl. I have precious memories of her cooing to me, "agoooo" before she could talk. But I knew what she meant. <3

Now she is becoming a strong, self-assured young lady who is an amazing dancer and artist. She is known for being kind, well mannered, but fairly silly. I love her so much.

Happy Birthday darling Rosie!

Not A Pity Party

I'll be 43 in two days.

These years I can barely remember how old I am because, who cares really? After forty, does it matter until you get close to fifty? I am just one of those people I used to think of as SO OLD! And like most folks, I don't feel old on the inside at all. Same old me in here, dealing with a more challenging body.

But I won't use this blog to kvetch about my sinuses, hashimoto's, plantar fascitis...etc.  I will not complain here about the insane amounts of driving I am compelled to do, or the craziness of helping ARG with high school. Moaning about money and schedules and annoying people....not today!

Instead, I decided on this upbeat, positive way to be grateful for my blessings:


10 Things That Don't Stink About My Life
(in no particular order)

- Where I live. Though it can be a mixed blessing (can you say fog?) living on the northern CA coast in a fairly rural feeling neighborhood is supreme. Many days it is gorgeous enough to stop me in my tracks.

- Watching my teenage son and preteen daughter as they evolve into adulthood. It is so deeply gratifying to see how strong they are, how original, and how creative. Seeing myself and Hubby in them is fun, but it is a joy to watch ARG and Rosie emerge as their unique selves. Getting deeply involved in fencing and ballet because of them is a cool life experience that I would never have gotten on my own.

- Lucy. Being greeted by an ecstatic sausage when I get home is lovely. She wags so hard her whole body wiggles and you can see the joy on her face. Sometimes she's so happy she whines.

- Ice cream. Specifically Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch and Americone Dream. I know this is totally sacreligious, but sometimes I feel life wouldn't be worth living without ice cream. Sad, isn't it.

- The warm, loving feelings and delicious sensations of cuddling and playing with my youngest daughter who is still soft, cuddly, innocent and silly (not to mention, she doesn't stink yet).


- The fact that my parents and Hubby's are alive and kicking. That is precious.


- Project Runway. I can't help it! I love that show! I've got Heidi Klum's lines memorized and I chant along each episode in my version of her German accent, "As you know, in fashion one week you're in, and the next week you're out!" I hate proliferation of the word "sexy" and the fact that the designers can't deal with real-life bodies. But that show is pure fun.

- Knowing that Hubby's got my back all the time, that he knows how to support me as I flail through life, that he loves me unconditionally with all my craziness.

- Fantasies about vacations. We may not end up going on all of them, but dreaming about future family vacations makes me to happy. Oh, the trips I could plan if we had enough dough. Current fantasies include Hawaii, Tahoe and Europe.

- Laughing. I love it. I need more of it. It is good medicine. Sharing a belly laugh with a loved one is just about my favorite thing in the world.

That's it! My official 43rd birthday Not-a-Pity-Party.

Most Tests are dumb

Well, at least the US History SAT2 Subject Test for high school.

ARG just took it yesterday, and I spent the last two weeks trying to cram useless bits of trivia about the 20th century in a (perhaps vain) effort to increase his test score. It seems that ARG's history teacher believes that American political though has not fundamentally changed since 1916, so he didn't really teach much more than the World Wars for the 1900's. This left him with a huge gap, as the 1/3 of the SAT2 US History test is on the 1900's. Hence my frantic efforts.

Some of the topics I found the most irrelevant and annoying:
- what was the slogan of the NonViolent Student Organizing Committee when the leaders changed in 1960something?
- what was Henry Clay's "American System"?
- be able to identify a quote as written by the IWW, NLU, AFL, CIO or Knights of Labor

I mean, who has ever heard of Henry Clay?

Out of 90 questions, a full 9 were analyzing political cartoons from an era - something requires very little historical knowledge, and lots of reasoning skills. In about the same amount of questions, the reader is asked to pick the statement which best describes a historical quote. Again, you don't really need to know history to do that - just good reading comprehension.

So basically, the test is a combination of questions that require little or no historical knowledge and questions testing the ability to memorize a plethora of minutia about historical events.


Poor ARG had to endure me constantly quizzing him about DuBois vs. Booker T. Washington, MLK and Malcolm X, Rachel Carson, the Harlem Renaissance, the Feminine Mystique, the Transcendentalist movement, the Whigs, the Populists, the Progressives, the Tet Offensive...etc.

While I think it is good, in general, to be aware of those people and movement, I truly do not think it is necessary to have complete mastery over every detail of them in order to understand US history and politics. After all, what is the purpose of history if not to inform decisions in the present? Knowing the exact founding dates, slogans and events related to every labor organization is not necessary to understand the general gist of the labor movement. I grew up a feminist, I understand feminism, and I never read or knew about the Feminine Mystique.

In the end, I've had to mostly agree with ARG's history teacher. Most of the themes from the 20th century can be easily learned by watching TV shows and documentaries. What's more, it is impossible to retain a zillion historical facts. The broad themes of history get lost in the detials. And so it all gets forgotten.

What a shame (for history and for us).

Problems with Libertarian thinking

I  have considered myself a libertarian for many years now. Studying the founding of our country, and the principles the founders held sacred has influenced my thinking greatly. I have learned that democracy is not that great, and that protection of individual rights is essential in a moral society.

But I have come up against a few ideas that make me question pure libertarianism a bit.

1.) Here is one I hadn't heard before:

So, if taxes paid by all were responsible for protecting your rights and providing roads and educated workers, while you were producing goods and making a profit, then you owe some of your profit to......who? the government? other taxpayers?

I don't know what to make of this argument. Because weren't everyone's rights protected by police during this time? Didn't everyone benefit from good roads and free education? So this argument says that the people who make a big profit, and produce things that people want OWE part of the profit back to the community. More of a chunk than everyone else? Why?  It seems to penalize the people who make profits.

2.) OK. What else. What about the question asked of Ron Paul at the last debate - about whether we should just let uninsured sick people die. Paul mentions charity and social networks to help care for folks who can't take care of themselves. I see the logic in it, but it doesn't seem like it really happens. I don't see charities or families or churches ever doing enough to care for all the folks who need it.

But then again, it's not like government is doing the job well either. Folks suffer, fall through the government cracks and die all the time. But maybe not as much? I don't know....

3.) Then I think of clean air and water and I wonder how that can ever be accomplished without a national government. Air and water just flow around too much to be taken care of by property owners.

I hate when the principles I hold dear leave me in the lurch. And I'd like to figure these things out.

And just as a side note: I can't stand when people say that Christianity or Jesus says we should support liberal/progressive/welfare policies. Jesus NEVER forced anyone to do anything. He is (to my understanding) all about people freely choosing to love God and others. I can see that one who follows Jesus would/should help others. But being forced to pay taxes for many programs (only some of which are for welfare) is completely different.

Real Education

Over the years of homeschooling, I have tried to pursue a real education for my kids. I have researched curriculum that I thought was good. I have pursued opportunities for learning that were outside the box.  I have grown, adjusted and refined learning at home. But I have always struggled against "school" brainwashing.

What I mean is that inside my head there has always been a voice that tells me that my kids should learn a certain thing, a certain way because that is how it is done in school. Even when our homeschool has been the furthest away (philosophically and practically) from a brick and mortar school, the voice has always been there.

I have had to balance my kids' learning styles with my educational philosophy and my personality. (If mom ain't happy.....you know). Sometimes I really need those workbooks and math assignments. Let me tell you, it is exponentially easier for the teacher (me) to say, "Go do your school work!" than to generate excitement and make a lasting impression with creative learning activities day in, day out. About five years into homeschooling, I realized that we needed a flexible combination of workbooky assignments, hands on/mom involved activites and lots and lots of reading.

Even now, after 10 years of homeschooling, I doubt myself. I wonder did I make the right choices? Am I making the right choices? Mostly I am concerned about ARG and his high school.

See a year ago ARG told me he wanted to try to get into a top tier university. No problem! No pressure! So I've been researching and trying to figure out how to position him to be able to achieve that goal. After a year and a bit, I am starting to feel that he and I are on the wrong track - focused completely on getting all A's, scoring uber-high on subject tests, PSAT and SAT tests, and taking the toughest classes all 4 years of high school. All this in order to maybe be qualified for a school that we can't even afford. And I was told recently that top tier school don't like homeschoolers at all, even though they will never say so out loud.

So I wonder if we shouldn't just take a breath, realize that there are many, many college options and focus on "real education". Maybe he doesn't need 4 years of science and french (subjects he doesn't care for much). Maybe he can take more time to study the things he really loves: history, computer science and drama.  Maybe he doesn't have to take Calculus 2 his senior year. Perhaps he can have the time (now spent preparing for subject tests) to dive deep into his passions and learn things that he finds worthy.

It seems like we both have the pressure of this college thing on our shoulders - and honestly I don't know if it is worth it. Are we victims of school brainwashing? Are we trying to fit into the "system" that we have been opting out of for years? Is it a square peg in a round hole?

Does one's undergrad school really matter? I've heard it's where you go to grad school that counts (assuming he'll go to grad school).

Basically, trying to conform to the elite college system has got me down. And I can't figure out if it is foolish  to pursue "real education" or is it wise?

Birthday Ideas

It's coming up soon and Hubby keeps asking me what I want.

This year I'm pretty sure I don't want things. I want experiences.

First of all, I'd love to go for a hike or a long walk on the beach with the fam and the dog. And the kids are not allowed to complain or ask when we are going home. It would be great to sit somewhere and have a nice picnic brunch and watch MiniMe play.

Later, I'd like a massage. A long one. An hour and a half is great. Then, right after that, I want to get a chiropractic adjustment. Not the fifteen minute crick-crack and your out kind. I want her to check out and adjust the whole kit and kaboodle.

Then, I'd like to come home and take a steaming hot as I can take it bath, scented with lavender. It would be great if I was in the middle of an exciting book, so I can read it in the tub for hours. Preferably no seven year old MiniMe will barge into my steamy haven asking if she can come in too.

Next......perhaps a nap.

Are you getting the gist of my birthday wishes? Lazy pleasures. Pleasurable laziness.

Hubby asked about a party. I'm just not into parties in general. I'm not good at them. My mind doesn't produce small talk without Herculean effort.

Nah...I'd rather be in my comfy sweats at home, eating delicious food and watching a movie (my pick!) with the fam. 


Here are some birthday no-no's for me:
- no wearing tight jeans
- no presents that involve electronics (yes, I'd love some new Apple product, but we can't afford it)
- no chocolate with nuts in it
- no cheap chocolate
- no chocolate from anywhere but Leonidas (well, maybe a homemade flourless chocolate torte)
- no dishes, laundry or cleaning (and that doesn't mean that it gets put off until it's not my birthday anymore)
- no fighting or arguing

Upon reflection it kindof seems like my birthdays wishes are a bit selfish. Oh well, I guess we all get to be selfish one day out of the year.