UCSF

Today I went with fear and trepidation to an appointment with Dr. Bigwig Endocronologist at UCSF. This is for a second opinion on a thyroid cyst. You know, to make sure I don't have the "C" word.

Arriving forty minutes early (just in case of.....well, you never know in hospitals), my first impression was not hopeful. I was met at the front desk by the full force of big, tough, Russian woman receptionist, Ekaterina Pokokavlokaska.

"Theez your first dime heeere?" she deadpans. No smile.

"Yes!" I say in a hopeful, cheery voice.

She pulled my file, proceeded to stick about fifty stickers all over it, only to find out that they were the wrong stickers.

"Geeeve me a preak!" she uttered. "I'm coing to haave to doo eet all ofer again." I mean, this woman was tough! I would not want to compete against her in the shotput competition at the Olympics - you know what I mean? (think East German Olympians).

But ultimately all was concluded nicely and I was told to vait.

Now, I had been referred by my family doctor to this guy. Plus, my friend who has thyroid cancer said she had seen him and he was good. I figured I'd be in good hands. So when a short Indian woman called my name and introduced herself as Dr. Bafinni I was a bit surprised.

In the office she began asking me questions, taking my history (most of which was answered "No" or "Normal")

"Excuse me," I said, "I guess I don't understand how things work here. I thought I was going to see Dr. Bigwig."

"Oh, I am a visiting doctor ....blah ...blah... group... intern.....resident.....clinic...... but I can have Dr. Bigwig come say 'hello' to you."

"Uhh....I guess...?" What was I supposed to do?

So in he comes with a booming English accent telling me how wonderful Dr. Bafinni is, how she is younger and better looking so not to worry. They looked at me as if I was a poor, underinformed person who doesn't have a clue. You know, the "this is how it's ALWAYS done" syndrome?

"Oh....OK...well, nice to meet you." My thyroid is feeling better already.

Truth be told, she did seem like a competent doctor and was very kind. And if my tests come back abnormal, then she'll consult with Dr. Bigwig. But that shouldn't (please God) happen. The odds are in my favor. Did you know that it is very common for people to have nodules (the non-"C" word kind) on their thyroids? Who knew.......

In my near future are bloodpulling, ultrasound on my neck and a FNA (fine needle aspiration). Yummmmm.....