Oh God of Potty Training,

Please let my daughter potty train soon. Please fill her with the desire to put her bodily wastes in the toilet, and the conviction that she can do it.

Oh, hear my cries for no more poopy diapers that get poop on my hands no matter how hard I try. Oh answer my plea to never again experience poop dropping out of the diaper, down her leg, onto her shoe and smooshed all over the floor at Cost Plus World Market. Let your grace fall upon me so I can just say, "Go to the potty before bed, please," instead of the nightly trudge to the changing table.

I know you are a merciful God of Potty Training, and all children learn at some point.

Please end my misery soon.