A Serious Attempt at Fun

Keeping School Simple

2011-11-17T08:29:00.000-08:00

I just read this blog post about homeschooling, and how we should keep things simple. The gist of it is that as long as your kids are reading or hearing great literature and doing math once a week, they'll be fine (ie. get into college and survive in the world).

I understand that the move to "keep school simple" is a response to the busy, stressful way a lot of homeschool parents educate their kids. Parents overburden themselves and their kids with too many assignments, tests, activities...etc. The terrible responsibility of educating your child, the fears of not doing a good enough job, not to mention the plethora of intense homeschool plans (Well Trained Mind anyone?) can lead a parent to compensate by becoming an overachiever.

One thing I have learned after homeschooling for eleven years is that educating your children at home is a monumental balancing act. It is alluring to believe that "one way" is the right way for your family, and that you'll stick to it forever. But the truth is that there are so many factors, so many considerations that a homeschool parent can't afford to rigidly adhere to any one approach, whether it is "keeping school simple" or otherwise.

I have had to flex and adjust my teaching approach several times over the years. I still question and doubt and change the way I homeschool. One of the first (and most important) lessons I learned was that, as the teacher and mom of the family, my needs were just as important as the kids'. I was intensely uncomfortable when I tried the "unschooling" approach in the grade school years, and for right or wrong, I had to change things up. You know what they say, "if Mama ain't happy...." Learning to balance assignments with free exploration time was hard, and at times clunky. But I valued my feelings enough to craft an approach that didn't drive me crazy, but was still a stretch.

Another reality I've had to face is that (unfortunately) standardized tests such as the SAT/ACT and Subject Tests are especially critical for homeschooled students who plan to attend a four year university. At the high school level, a student must be able to write well, have a deep understanding language, have a good grasp of advanced math, and thoroughly know the specific subject material studied (eg. history, chemistry).

Let's face it, what child will spontaneously discover how to write a well organized, interesting five paragraph essay? And doing math once a week will not give a student adequate mastery to test well. The truth is, at the high school level, students must be prepared and able to study rigorously, even if they don't love the subject. With that in mind, it is unfair to allow a child complete academic freedom with no requirements prior to high school.

Also, I don't agree with "Keep it Simple's" assertion that everything a children learns before 7th grade will be forgotten. If a subject is taught once, and never seen again, then I agree the child probably won't retain it. But with cyclical repetition of subject matter, even if done casually and in a fun way, students do learn and retain knowledge. Keeping subjects to a minimum in the early years makes repeating them easy.

That said, I agree that early grade school children should learn mostly through play or pleasant experiences. An atmostphere of fun and creativity goes far in fostering a love of learning. At this age, I think "Keeping it Simple" applies beautifully. If young homeschool parents realized what was ahead of them, they would relax and cherish the special times with their young students.

But it is unrealistic to think that students will be prepared for high school, and later, college level work if they have never been required to learn and work at tasks and subjects that are difficult. Thankfully, by high school, most students are mature enough to realize that their future depends upon their education, and are willing to do the work (though perhaps not joyously).

In the end, homeschooling through the years is a lot like yoga. It takes a lot of balancing and stretching! We balance joyful learning and required learning, our kids' needs and our own, our aspirations and our fears. We stretch into approaches that are uncomfortable, while remembering to value our own feelings. Figuring out the balance that works is the trick, and is unique to each family.

Beautiful Birthday Girl

2011-10-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

As I write five young ladies aged 12 - 16 are playing a game in my family room. Said ladies are here to help my most awesome daughter, Rosie, celebrate her 12th birthday.

Here are the things that make a tween birthday party complete:
- cheese puffs
- ABBA
- peanut butter cups
- balloons, streamers...etc.
- lemon meringue pie (which sadly did not turn out well)
- LOTS of louds voices and giggling
- pizza
- I Love Lucy
- sleeping bags, pillows and various stuffed animals

And when I say loud, I mean surprisingly, ear splittingly loud. I am always amazed at how loud girls can be when they get together. ARG and his friends were NEVER this loud.

Hubby has taken MiniMe out for a few hours so she won't be annoyingly underfoot. As much as I wish my children lovingly got along all the time, Rosie made it clear that MiniMe was not to be present at most of her party.

So I am here, holding down the fort. Being present, but trying not to listen too hard or cramp their style. Pretty soon I have to punch the dough and start rolling out the pizza pies.

I like to remember the night Rosie was born. I tried to explain to her today that I had wanted to do a water birth. The tub was full of warm water and I was hoping the heat and bouyancy would help alleviate some of the pain and discomfort. But instead I ended up on our living room floor because I couldn't walk after the midwife checked me mid-labor. I walked miles all day to bring on and strengthen the contractions, but I couldn't make it 15 feet once I was near transition.

We didn't know for sure she was a girl, and we were SO HAPPY when she was! Her birth wasn't as long as her brother's, but longer than her little sister's. I suppose it was my easiest birth, if you can put those two words together in a sentence.

Rosie was a calm, beautiful baby and was always full of love as a little girl. I have precious memories of her cooing to me, "agoooo" before she could talk. But I knew what she meant. <3

Now she is becoming a strong, self-assured young lady who is an amazing dancer and artist. She is known for being kind, well mannered, but fairly silly. I love her so much.

Happy Birthday darling Rosie!

Not A Pity Party

2011-10-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'll be 43 in two days.

These years I can barely remember how old I am because, who cares really? After forty, does it matter until you get close to fifty? I am just one of those people I used to think of as SO OLD! And like most folks, I don't feel old on the inside at all. Same old me in here, dealing with a more challenging body.

But I won't use this blog to kvetch about my sinuses, hashimoto's, plantar fascitis...etc. I will not complain here about the insane amounts of driving I am compelled to do, or the craziness of helping ARG with high school. Moaning about money and schedules and annoying people....not today!

Instead, I decided on this upbeat, positive way to be grateful for my blessings:

10 Things That Don't Stink About My Life
(in no particular order)

- Where I live. Though it can be a mixed blessing (can you say fog?) living on the northern CA coast in a fairly rural feeling neighborhood is supreme. Many days it is gorgeous enough to stop me in my tracks.

- Watching my teenage son and preteen daughter as they evolve into adulthood. It is so deeply gratifying to see how strong they are, how original, and how creative. Seeing myself and Hubby in them is fun, but it is a joy to watch ARG and Rosie emerge as their unique selves. Getting deeply involved in fencing and ballet because of them is a cool life experience that I would never have gotten on my own.

- Lucy. Being greeted by an ecstatic sausage when I get home is lovely. She wags so hard her whole body wiggles and you can see the joy on her face. Sometimes she's so happy she whines.

- Ice cream. Specifically Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch and Americone Dream. I know this is totally sacreligious, but sometimes I feel life wouldn't be worth living without ice cream. Sad, isn't it.

- The warm, loving feelings and delicious sensations of cuddling and playing with my youngest daughter who is still soft, cuddly, innocent and silly (not to mention, she doesn't stink yet).

- The fact that my parents and Hubby's are alive and kicking. That is precious.

- Project Runway. I can't help it! I love that show! I've got Heidi Klum's lines memorized and I chant along each episode in my version of her German accent, "As you know, in fashion one week you're in, and the next week you're out!" I hate proliferation of the word "sexy" and the fact that the designers can't deal with real-life bodies. But that show is pure fun.

- Knowing that Hubby's got my back all the time, that he knows how to support me as I flail through life, that he loves me unconditionally with all my craziness.

- Fantasies about vacations. We may not end up going on all of them, but dreaming about future family vacations makes me to happy. Oh, the trips I could plan if we had enough dough. Current fantasies include Hawaii, Tahoe and Europe.

- Laughing. I love it. I need more of it. It is good medicine. Sharing a belly laugh with a loved one is just about my favorite thing in the world.

That's it! My official 43rd birthday Not-a-Pity-Party.

Most Tests are dumb

2011-10-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well, at least the US History SAT2 Subject Test for high school.

ARG just took it yesterday, and I spent the last two weeks trying to cram useless bits of trivia about the 20th century in a (perhaps vain) effort to increase his test score. It seems that ARG's history teacher believes that American political though has not fundamentally changed since 1916, so he didn't really teach much more than the World Wars for the 1900's. This left him with a huge gap, as the 1/3 of the SAT2 US History test is on the 1900's. Hence my frantic efforts.

Some of the topics I found the most irrelevant and annoying:
- what was the slogan of the NonViolent Student Organizing Committee when the leaders changed in 1960something?
- what was Henry Clay's "American System"?
- be able to identify a quote as written by the IWW, NLU, AFL, CIO or Knights of Labor

I mean, who has ever heard of Henry Clay?

Out of 90 questions, a full 9 were analyzing political cartoons from an era - something requires very little historical knowledge, and lots of reasoning skills. In about the same amount of questions, the reader is asked to pick the statement which best describes a historical quote. Again, you don't really need to know history to do that - just good reading comprehension.

So basically, the test is a combination of questions that require little or no historical knowledge and questions testing the ability to memorize a plethora of minutia about historical events.

Poor ARG had to endure me constantly quizzing him about DuBois vs. Booker T. Washington, MLK and Malcolm X, Rachel Carson, the Harlem Renaissance, the Feminine Mystique, the Transcendentalist movement, the Whigs, the Populists, the Progressives, the Tet Offensive...etc.

While I think it is good, in general, to be aware of those people and movement, I truly do not think it is necessary to have complete mastery over every detail of them in order to understand US history and politics. After all, what is the purpose of history if not to inform decisions in the present? Knowing the exact founding dates, slogans and events related to every labor organization is not necessary to understand the general gist of the labor movement. I grew up a feminist, I understand feminism, and I never read or knew about the Feminine Mystique.

In the end, I've had to mostly agree with ARG's history teacher. Most of the themes from the 20th century can be easily learned by watching TV shows and documentaries. What's more, it is impossible to retain a zillion historical facts. The broad themes of history get lost in the detials. And so it all gets forgotten.

What a shame (for history and for us).

Problems with Libertarian thinking

2011-09-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

I have considered myself a libertarian for many years now. Studying the founding of our country, and the principles the founders held sacred has influenced my thinking greatly. I have learned that democracy is not that great, and that protection of individual rights is essential in a moral society.

But I have come up against a few ideas that make me question pure libertarianism a bit.

1.) Here is one I hadn't heard before:

So, if taxes paid by all were responsible for protecting your rights and providing roads and educated workers, while you were producing goods and making a profit, then you owe some of your profit to......who? the government? other taxpayers?

I don't know what to make of this argument. Because weren't everyone's rights protected by police during this time? Didn't everyone benefit from good roads and free education? So this argument says that the people who make a big profit, and produce things that people want OWE part of the profit back to the community. More of a chunk than everyone else? Why? It seems to penalize the people who make profits.

2.) OK. What else. What about the question asked of Ron Paul at the last debate - about whether we should just let uninsured sick people die. Paul mentions charity and social networks to help care for folks who can't take care of themselves. I see the logic in it, but it doesn't seem like it really happens. I don't see charities or families or churches ever doing enough to care for all the folks who need it.

But then again, it's not like government is doing the job well either. Folks suffer, fall through the government cracks and die all the time. But maybe not as much? I don't know....

3.) Then I think of clean air and water and I wonder how that can ever be accomplished without a national government. Air and water just flow around too much to be taken care of by property owners.

I hate when the principles I hold dear leave me in the lurch. And I'd like to figure these things out.

And just as a side note: I can't stand when people say that Christianity or Jesus says we should support liberal/progressive/welfare policies. Jesus NEVER forced anyone to do anything. He is (to my understanding) all about people freely choosing to love God and others. I can see that one who follows Jesus would/should help others. But being forced to pay taxes for many programs (only some of which are for welfare) is completely different.

Real Education

2011-09-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

Over the years of homeschooling, I have tried to pursue a real education for my kids. I have researched curriculum that I thought was good. I have pursued opportunities for learning that were outside the box. I have grown, adjusted and refined learning at home. But I have always struggled against "school" brainwashing.

What I mean is that inside my head there has always been a voice that tells me that my kids should learn a certain thing, a certain way because that is how it is done in school. Even when our homeschool has been the furthest away (philosophically and practically) from a brick and mortar school, the voice has always been there.

I have had to balance my kids' learning styles with my educational philosophy and my personality. (If mom ain't happy.....you know). Sometimes I really need those workbooks and math assignments. Let me tell you, it is exponentially easier for the teacher (me) to say, "Go do your school work!" than to generate excitement and make a lasting impression with creative learning activities day in, day out. About five years into homeschooling, I realized that we needed a flexible combination of workbooky assignments, hands on/mom involved activites and lots and lots of reading.

Even now, after 10 years of homeschooling, I doubt myself. I wonder did I make the right choices? Am I making the right choices? Mostly I am concerned about ARG and his high school.

See a year ago ARG told me he wanted to try to get into a top tier university. No problem! No pressure! So I've been researching and trying to figure out how to position him to be able to achieve that goal. After a year and a bit, I am starting to feel that he and I are on the wrong track - focused completely on getting all A's, scoring uber-high on subject tests, PSAT and SAT tests, and taking the toughest classes all 4 years of high school. All this in order to maybe be qualified for a school that we can't even afford. And I was told recently that top tier school don't like homeschoolers at all, even though they will never say so out loud.

So I wonder if we shouldn't just take a breath, realize that there are many, many college options and focus on "real education". Maybe he doesn't need 4 years of science and french (subjects he doesn't care for much). Maybe he can take more time to study the things he really loves: history, computer science and drama. Maybe he doesn't have to take Calculus 2 his senior year. Perhaps he can have the time (now spent preparing for subject tests) to dive deep into his passions and learn things that he finds worthy.

It seems like we both have the pressure of this college thing on our shoulders - and honestly I don't know if it is worth it. Are we victims of school brainwashing? Are we trying to fit into the "system" that we have been opting out of for years? Is it a square peg in a round hole?

Does one's undergrad school really matter? I've heard it's where you go to grad school that counts (assuming he'll go to grad school).

Basically, trying to conform to the elite college system has got me down. And I can't figure out if it is foolish to pursue "real education" or is it wise?

Birthday Ideas

2011-09-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

It's coming up soon and Hubby keeps asking me what I want.

This year I'm pretty sure I don't want things. I want experiences.

First of all, I'd love to go for a hike or a long walk on the beach with the fam and the dog. And the kids are not allowed to complain or ask when we are going home. It would be great to sit somewhere and have a nice picnic brunch and watch MiniMe play.

Later, I'd like a massage. A long one. An hour and a half is great. Then, right after that, I want to get a chiropractic adjustment. Not the fifteen minute crick-crack and your out kind. I want her to check out and adjust the whole kit and kaboodle.

Then, I'd like to come home and take a steaming hot as I can take it bath, scented with lavender. It would be great if I was in the middle of an exciting book, so I can read it in the tub for hours. Preferably no seven year old MiniMe will barge into my steamy haven asking if she can come in too.

Next......perhaps a nap.

Are you getting the gist of my birthday wishes? Lazy pleasures. Pleasurable laziness.

Hubby asked about a party. I'm just not into parties in general. I'm not good at them. My mind doesn't produce small talk without Herculean effort.

Nah...I'd rather be in my comfy sweats at home, eating delicious food and watching a movie (my pick!) with the fam.

Here are some birthday no-no's for me:
- no wearing tight jeans
- no presents that involve electronics (yes, I'd love some new Apple product, but we can't afford it)
- no chocolate with nuts in it
- no cheap chocolate
- no chocolate from anywhere but Leonidas (well, maybe a homemade flourless chocolate torte)
- no dishes, laundry or cleaning (and that doesn't mean that it gets put off until it's not my birthday anymore)
- no fighting or arguing

Upon reflection it kindof seems like my birthdays wishes are a bit selfish. Oh well, I guess we all get to be selfish one day out of the year.

It's that time again

2011-09-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

Yep, the presidential election is starting up again.

Those who know me, know that I hold zero hope that I will approve of or vote for the candidate from either major party. Usually it is a time to be depressed about the trajectory of the country I love so much.

But there is one bright spot for me in all the ugliness that is presidential politics:
My Main Man (MMM) Ron Paul.

I just love this guy. I can't help it. He is so sincere, honest, humble, principled....so unlike just about every other politician I've seen. The fact that he stands for just about every political principle I hold dear doesn't hurt him in my eyes either.

But it's not just his politics, it's the way he is. Smart without being arrogant. Persuasive without being aggressive. Firm in his views without getting personal. And he's just a cute old guy. I love him.

I realize his chances of winning the nomination are quite small. But he and his message are getting a lot more attention this time around. He is influencing the debate instead of being completely written off as a whacko. He is only partially written off as a whacko now.

But he predicted the financial problems we've had. And more people are willing to agree with his opposition to the endless wars around the globe and his calls to bring the troops home immediately. Some say he is an isolationist, but that is a misnomer. He is all for travel and most of all robust trade with all nations - he is against the US constantly getting entangled in foreign wars.

I followed MMM and the liberty movement that supported him during the 2008 election. It was interesting to see how the Tea Party grew out of the left-overs of his campaign. The Tea Party began as primarily an economics-driven movement. It has gone through a lot of changes, and appears to have been co-opted by the far-right evangelical movement. According to my son, the Tea Party is done. Personally, I'm not sure what to think.

All I know is that I loathe the Republican National Party establishment. Ditto for the Democratics. I never cared for Mr. Obama, though I am proud that our country showed it was able to elect a black president. I hate the way the two parties care only about power, and the influence they have on American politics.

MMM Ron Paul is a renegade, and definitely anti-establishment. It should be entertaining to watch how he is mocked during the Republican debates.

I'll always love you Ron Paul!

Work

2011-09-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

I need a job.

I need to earn some money. Somehow I allowed my children to get involved in really expensive activities. And I mean prodigously expensive.

For some reason I don't seem to have the chutzpa to set limits or say no, especially if the fund-draining activity will look good on a college application (see previous post). And college is just around the corner - how are we going to pay for that?

So here I am pondering and praying about a job. But really, I am a spoiled, lazy person. It's all nice and dandy to fantasize about what job I'd like. But when I actually think about going to work, I'm like..."Ew...... I don't want to do that".

Some of the things I would want in a job are:
- part time
- can be done mostly at home
- involves organzing (people, ideas, events...I don't care)
- it would be nice to be helping others
- it would be fun if it involved history or education

I can't think of a job that has all those things, can you?

Sometimes I think I'll just get a job checking at Trader Joe's - my most favorite grocery store. It would be brainless, but would require being away from home quite a bit.

MiniMe is just 7, so I'm not quite ready to leave her for hours on end by herself. Yes, her sister and perhaps her brother would be home, but they just stay in their rooms most of the time.

Does anyone have teens who don't stay in their rooms most of the time? But I digress....

Maybe I should google "part time, at home, organizing jobs". Maybe I should look on craigslist. Maybe I should head over to Trader Joes.

High School

2011-08-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

ARG has entered his second year of high school recently. And I have entered the craziness of figuring out how to present him to colleges when the time comes. The process is making me angry, because I have realized that college admissions counselors are just as brainwashed and prejudiced against homeschooling as most Americans.

I'm not sure why this is hitting me as a shock. I've known for years that most people believe that there is only one method of education that is valid - school. So why am I so irritated that colleges hold the same beliefs?

I realize now that I have avoided authorities, hoops, test taking, bureaucracy...etc. for so many years. And it is a harsh dose of reality that ARG and I are having to deal with now. No more escaping the testing. But even worse than that, the testing is exponentially more important for him than for school-taught students.

I've been told that homeschool grades mean nothing to colleges (nevermind full course descriptions, sample work..etc.) Even community college courses are looked upon with skepticism. They don't fit the standard recipe of a school-taught learner, so they don't understand it, don't view it as valid, and don't want to take the time to verify that the grades might just be real. So what do they do? They look at the SAT score and the SAT subject test score. THAT's what is real to them. THAT's what they can understand.

To top it off, I've been told (by someone who knows - a past Stanford assistant dean of admissions) that ARG will have an uphill battle proving that he has learned high school social skills. ACK! The old "homeschoolers aren't socialized" myth. It is especially frustrating to me because ARG is, in my opinion, better socialized than most teens. He converses easily with adults and has friends of all different ages.

The conflict between true learning and looking good on a transcript is extreme. ARG wants to go to a good college, so will have to ace umpteen SAT subject tests and the SAT itself. He must study for these tests, because they may contain material that was not included in the courses he has taken.

And let me be clear, he has not taken easy, sloucher courses! He is taking more than what is necessary (some at home with excellent curricula and some at CSM) to be eligible for the UC system. For goodness sakes, he will probably have enough computer sciences courses under his belt by the end of high school for a minor in the field.

I won't even mention how irate I got about the AP US Govt. and Politics materials (can you say propaganda?)

So I struggle with encouraging him to keep on with math, even though he is as a sophomore ahead of where I was as a senior. Four years. That's what the colleges want. Even if the fourth year is calculus 2. And he hates math.

I struggle knowing he has learned so much about American literature and writing, is so much more well read and knowledgeable than most teens. And little or none of that will be recognized by a college unless he pwns the AP English and Literature tests.

I should mention here that I believe tests can be a reflection of learning, but are not actual learning. Tests can be helpful assessments, but are not the end all be all of education. So I am aggrieved when I realize the profound importance they have in ARG's life in the near future.

If I am honest, I must admit that part of the pain I am feeling can be attributed to protectiveness and defensiveness. I feel indignant that my son (who after all will always be my little guy) will be judged by people who don't share our values, and who can't possibly understand how awesome he is! I also feel that I, as a homeschool teacher, will be judged based on his performance - uncomfortable!

It's time for us to deal with the real world - and I'm not loving it.

6 months

2011-06-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on my blog for six months. It's a record.

If there was a Nonbloggingist Blogger Award, I would win!

Explanation? Facebook. I know, how pathetic and sad. But it is so much easier to write a small blurb, or quote some famous person on FB once or twice a week than it is to write an epic blog entry several times a week.

Me? Lazy? You bet your bananas.

Guilt, a potential blog topic, a slow night at home and fear that I will lose all my old posts if I stop writing combined to get me back here.

The thing I'm wrangling with these days is high school. Specifically, homeschooling through high school. My poor ARG, being the oldest, is my experiment, my trial run at seeing if I can do it.

There are two main challenges in being the homeschool mom to a high schooler:

1.) At a time when teenage student should be pulling away, becoming more independent and self-sufficient - I still feel completely responsible for his educational success or failure. It is a tough one to balance.

2.) All the darn bureaucracy! Community College Enrollment / Registration / Waitlists, SAT 2 Subject Tests, AP Tests...etc. What classes to take when? Which tests to take and when?

And everything matters now! It all goes on the high school transcript for college admissions. YIKES! No pressure.

An example of problem 2 (and maybe some of problem 1 as well): ARG just finished the third in a series of JAVA programming classes at the local community classes. The week after his final I realized (duh!) there is an AP test for Java programming. BUT - the last AP test for the year was the weekend before. No more tests until next May. So, if I had been ON TOP of things and known about the darn test, he could've taken when it was all fresh and killed it! But now he'll have to take it next year, and review/ study for the test and hope he remembers enough to do well. I was so bummed.

And then there's the independence thing. I've finally decided that I can not be on top of ARG all day every day to make sure he's doing his work instead of playing Half Life 2 or Supreme Commander. Doing that was just way too stressful for me. I've got to let him take responsibility for his work. So now he manages his own time and gets his work done on his own schedule. For now, this means he will be doing school through summer, because he has not finished three subjects. OK. Is that bad? Is it good? I dont' know.

All I know is that the pressure of being semi? mostly? responsible for getting him through high school with the right courses, the right grades and the right tests is intense. And I need to learn more and more to let go and let him take it on. But I'm telling you, that is HARD. He is 14, and he doesn't know a lot of things. I have to teach things to him as I let them go. It is weird.

We Wear the Mask

2010-12-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

This poem spoke to me at a time when my heart was sore hurt, but I couldn't show it or share it.

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,-
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And moth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be othersie,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries,
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

Paul Lawrence Dunbar
1872-1906

Inertia is a Strong Force

2010-12-29T11:23:00.001-08:00

Nuff said.

Luke 11:23

2010-09-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

I was reading the bible this morning and stumbled (in every possible way) over something Jesus said,

"He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth"

From my modern, American, toleranceiseverything perspective this sounds mighty exclusive. Harsh. Not easy to swallow. Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of it.

Is Jesus talking about spiritual reality? Like a universal law of physics, but a universal law of the spiritual world? For myself, the first part is OK. I am definitely a Christ believer. But the second clause? Hmmmm. What exactly does "gathereth" mean?

What are the ways that a person can help gather? I can think of the obvious: missions, prosletyizing...etc. That is so not my cup of tea. I'm not good at it. I'm uncomfortable about it. But are there other ways to gather? I've been thinking a lot about how Jesus calls me to LOVE others. And while I'm still not exactly clear about how to logistically implement that, it's the only concrete guidance I have received on the matter.

Love people. Anywhere. Everywhere. Really love them. Care about them and their lives. Help if I can. Be a good samaritan. Don't look away from pain and suffering.

What a great vision.

But darn challenging to live up to. Sometimes I don't even remember. I get so wrapped up with my daily life, the needs of my family and my personal concerns that I lose focus. I wish I had a little "reset" button inside of my that God would push whenever I need to remember to LOVE people.

Wouldn't that be cool?

More fun, more helping

2010-09-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about trying to enjoy life more lately. A dear friend from church just suffered a stroke and is in the hospital on all kinds of tubes and it is not looking good. And the San Bruno explosion and fire also contributed towards my frame of mind.

I've also been thinking about how I can be a good Samaritan - in the real, biblical sense. I mean really helping people and sharing God's love. Seems like everyone goes to Africa to help AIDS orphans. That is awesome, but I don't think I'm going there soon.

So I guess I want to help more, and I want to have more fun. Are those contradictory desires?

And is there room for anything more in my life? Hmmm.....

And can I afford to do all the things I want to do to have more fun?

OK, enough of all that philosophical stuff. Let's talk about what is really important: my HAIR.

It is time for a change. I grew my hair for over a year for the Anniversary party* and now I ready for a cut. I'm looking a little Pescadero these days with my long locks. The two options I am considering are:

1.) bangs, layered and medium length - lots of movement and easy to wear/wash and go.
2.) all one length, shoulder length or a little longer - no layers.

I'm thinking of going with #2 first, then transitioning to #1 if/when I get sick of it.

The next big question is bangs? or no bangs? I just think bangs make one look younger, and I could seriously use that kind of help about now. Ya know?

Is a new hair cut in any way related to having more fun or helping others?

Not really, huh.

* if you want to see pictures from the anniversary party (it was epic), check on my FB photos.

Ta Da!

2010-07-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

I finally found it.

My dress! For Hubby's parents' 50th anniversary party (which is in two weeks, btw).

So I didn't get it too soon. Actually, I did get it too soon. I've had a gorgeous sapphire blue dress hanging in my closet since February. Last week (after I purchased shoes to go with it), I tried it on for ARG and Hubby.

Their response was identical - "It's so BLUE!"

Hmmm..... this was not the effect I was hoping to have. Of course my girls loved the blue dress. But the men? Not so much. And Hubby was especially unexcited about it. And really, who is my main audience here? Six and ten year old girls? Or my main squeeze?

So BACK I went to good ole Norstrom for an exchange. Luckily I found a lovely black dress that fits and was the same price. I am not over-the-top about the dress, but I like it. Hubby likes it, and that's what counts. And mostly? I'm happy that it's DONE! (bonus: I already have black shoes to wear.)

But it's not done really, because now I have to find the appropriate brassiere to wear underneath. It's not as easy as it seems. It must sufficiently push the ladies up, with out showing out the top of the dress. I have a week to work on it. I'm optimistic.

So, with out further ado, here is the dress I will wear August 13:

NOT

Well, that didn't exactly work, so here is the link to the dress I will wear on August 13:

Sue'sDress

Of course, you have to imagine a 41 year old, statuesque (do you like that?) pale lady in the dress.

Comments are welcome (as long as they are positive).

:)

Fencing Overload

2010-07-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

I just spent the last week immersed in fencing. Six and a half out of seven days were spent within a cavernous convention center watching ARG, ARG's mates, Olympians and complete strangers fence. I have had enough of fencing for a while.

One of the many strange aspects of national tournaments is that ARG becomes very, ah, focused while he is there. In other words, he is far less interested in conversing with his mom than in watching people fence and talking with other fencing folk. Most of the many hours spent in the hall of clashing weapons and screaming fencers I am alone.

I have figured out that it is a good thing to bring a book. Or a newspaper. Or both. I sit and read as much as possible. I dare not stand around because the floors are concrete - ouch! The back kills after a day or two of standing and walking on that.

Chatting with fencing parents is nice too. The vast majority of them are sincerely nice and interested in everyone doing well. But since our only connection is fencing, you can guess what we talk about - you got it! Fencing! So in addition to watching fencing, and being surrounded by fencing I got to talk about fencing for a week. Mind you, I always enjoy talking about ARG. What mother doesn't want to talk about her child? But there is only so far I can go with that without being obnoxious.

The big "take away" I learned from this year's Summer Nationals is that fencing tournaments are truly random. Who you fight in Direct Elimination completely determines how high you place - and there seems to be little rhyme or reason to it. You could face the #87th or #8th ranked fencer depending on how everyone did in the pools.

Example: one 12 year old kid made the podium (top 8) in U16, but placed 17th in Y14, and only 6th in Y12. Making the podium in U16 is very, VERY hard (usually). But this year the number one and two seeded fencers didn't even make top 8 due to an unfortunate meeting of very good fencers very early in direct eliminations.

Another example: a kid who ARG can crush placed 11th in DIV2 Mens Sabre, while ARG ended up 33rd. It all depends on who you face in DE's. Could be hard. Could be easy. You just don't know. Hubby said we should just send ARG to as many tournaments as possible to increase the odds that the randomness will be in his favor more often. Oy.

I've ranted before about how expensive fencing is. But mostly, it is the travel that costs. And because the national (lame-a%#&) organization mostly places national tournaments in the middle of the country (in beguilding locales like Milwauke, Cincinnati & Kansas City) the airfare is high. No cheap flights like you could get to NYC or Boston.

I could go on about how disgustingly HOT Atlanta was, or how very FAR we had to walk to get to the venue, or how distressingly SLOW the events were run, but I won't.

I'll end on a positive note.

Are you ready?

ARG placed 5th in Y14 Mens Sabre!!!!!!!

5th. In. The. Nation. Wooooot! Wooooot! 5th out of about 140. Yes!

That day I spent 95% of the time in worry/anguish/anxiety/terror and 5% in jubilation/relief/pride. Whew! What a ride.

I'm so proud and happy that ARG has been rewarded for all his very hard work and dedication. And I will try very hard for the next few weeks to not brag constantly about my AWESOME son and how GREAT HE DID!

:)

Hotlanta

2010-07-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

We're off tomorrow morning to Atlanta for summer nationals. Our flight leaves at 6am (ouch!). But hopefully that means we'll get there in time for ARG and me to head over to the venue for weapons check. Getting that out of the way is always a relief.

And I know ARG wants to do some fencing shopping. New mask. New shoes. Oy. But he is going to pay for his new gear himself this time. Yay! Thats why he opted to get the non-visor mask ($300) instead of the visor mask ($500). Now you know why I complain about fencing being so expensive. Masks last no longer than two seasons, and usually just one. Again, oy.

As usual, I am a bit nervous before a plane flight. I've already written the requisite "If I die" letter, so I won't have that on my mind when I think I'm going to die. The other strategy I am using is to rent MiniMe's new dvd player and bring it on the plane and watch funny and sci-fi movies the whole flight. I rented a bunch of them. ARG and I both have headphones. I'm thinking Blazing Saddles for the take off, and Colbert's Christmas special for landing. Maybe a Star Trek movie in between, we'll see.

In a way I am happy to have a one week break from the norm. No cooking. No cleaning. No ordering kids around (well, just one - but he's pretty reasonable on vacation). Seeing a new place. Trying new things. Especially new food! I've gotten some good tips of places to hit in Atlanta. And I must, must, must see the history center there. I dont' care if ARG doesn't want to go, he's going. It's the least he can do to pay me back for six days of standing around watching fencing.

And it's not all him fencing. He only fences three times. During those times, I stand on the side of his strip, making small talk while I really want to scream or throw up from nerves. I tell myself to SHUT UP, so I don't say anything too stupid. And I endeavor to not grunt and groan or jump around while ARG fences. And I tell myself over and over how proud I am of him for all his hard work, no matter how he does.

The rest of the time we watch friends fence. And the Olympians fence. That is actually pretty cool. ARG has actually met two olympic fencers so far. I think that is awesome for him. But aside from the few dramatic and exciting bouts, there is A LOT of waiting around the convention center amidst electronic beeps from the fencing gear, lots of chatter and sporadic yells and screeches from the fencers.

Atlanta is supposed to be 90 degrees during the day, and 70 at night. Nice. Hope I don't sweat too much.

OK - here it is.

2010-06-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

For two sweet days I have had absolutely NO plans.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah...........

I managed to stay in my pajamas until 11am on Monday. I would've stayed in them all day except for the dreaded P90X work out, to which I am for some reason committed. I worked out earlier today so I've spent most of the day clothed.

But the BIG news is not about me and my exciting summer. The BIG news is that tomorrow I drive up to Sacramento to pick up my ManBoy. Yes, he has been away for a week. His first stay-away camp. I know, I know. I'm overprotective and most people send their kids away at about 5. But we never have felt the need to foist him off on someone else until now. (well, we would've sent him to this brainiac camp last year that he qualified for with early SAT scores...brag...brag....but it was $3K for two weeks- uh, no.)

This summer he attended two fencing camps. One in Placerville at Hangtown Fencing, and one in Sacramento a Hristov/Czikany Fencing Club. The coolest part is that the coach for the Sac camp is named Hristo Hristov. Pretty cool name, huh? AND, he is the head saber coach at Princeton (be impressed).

ARG stayed with a family who has taken good care of him. He has fenced six hours a day and done lots of reading, gaming, movie-ing and sleeping in his off time. For me it has been strange. It has been like a part of me was missing. Like, now, where did my leg go?

I really LOVE when ARG calls and texts us. I feel so much better to know he is OK multiple times per day. I think I will cry a lot when he goes away to college. And when all three are gone? Oy. Let's just say I started crying in Trader Joe's this week when I heard some sappy song that reminded me of time going by......I am pathetic like that.

One especially cool part of picking ARG up is that on the drive home from Sac is FENTONS! Yum! That seems like the perfect way to end fencing camp and re-bond with my ManBoy. Right?

Where is My Summer?

2010-06-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

Summertime is here. Supposedly.

But I'm still waiting for my down time. My restful time. My time to stay in pajamas all day.

(Wow - I was looking back through some of my old posts to find one I'd written about staying in my pj's all day. Hey! They're pretty good! I was an awesome blogger there for a while. I even laughed at my own writing. Boy, has my life changed.)

Let me explain the reasons why I am not fully enjoying summertime just yet. First and foremost, my darling ARG hasn't finished his schoolwork! Arg! ARG! This means that I have to continue bugging him to actually complete his work, while enforcing the NOCOMPUTERTIMEBECAUSEYOURNOTDONEWITHSCHOOLYETBUDDY rule. Then, burden of burdens, I have to help him if he needs help. Bleah. I am sick and tired of transitions and introductions and conclusions. I've had it up to here with x squared - y squared over y squared - x squared. And I haven't looked at the logic book for a YEAR. Can you imagine how much I'll have to study to be able to help him study? Man!

Next, my girls are in ballet camp. Which is super and awesome and lovely and all that. For me it means dropping off and picking up each girl at different times, and packing a lunch - something I NEVER do.

Can't forget to mention that derned P90X which takes up a chunk each day. And yes, I 'm getting stronger, but my mighty muscles are still covered with a nice soft layer of fat.

Honestly? I do have more time off now than I do when all three kids are in school. But I think I need a major detox to be able to slow down. I'm still all "OK! Now I've gotta do this. OK! Now I'm going to do that." Even if I take a nap (oh glorious nap) it is a brief respite from the rest of my frenzied life.

I'm wishing for a week or two when I have the WHOLE day with no plans. No one to oversee. Nothing to get done.

Will that ever happen again? Maybe when Mike and I sneak away for our 20th anniversary next year.

Crazily enough, for all the kvetching I do about my frenzied, kid-filled life, I burst into tears today when I heard the lyrics from Unchained Melody:

"And time goes by, so slowly
And time can do so much"

I had just dropped of ARG at Skyline College for a math placement test and MiniMe didn't want to come into the store with me for the first time. "My kids are growing up!".....*sniff*....."The small kid part of my life is over FOREVER!"....sob.

Life is weird. And unpredictable.

YogaX

2010-06-17T07:10:00.000-07:00

I hate yoga.

I despise it. I loathe it. I dread it.

I have to do it this morning. My trytogetpumpedup program says today is the day.

Not only is it so crazy hard that it makes me want to cry. It is booooooring. I know there are millions of folks who just swear by yoga. Even good friends (you know who you are) love it. And I'll admit that I have probably approached it the wrong way. I should be doing some beginneritssoeasy class. But no. I'm doing YogaX - an extreme yoga workout.

Another complaint I have is that it is so looooong. An hour and a half. All the other P90X workouts are about an hour (or less!). But Yoga? Uggg. (shuddering) It's too long.

As I grow older I become more convinced of what I knew as a young swimmer. I am a sprinter. I love to sprint. To go all out for short periods. I never was good at long distance swimming. Running? Well, I rarely ran more than 4 miles - but at least there was some visual or audio stimulation there. And with this crazy X program, I love the weight lifting, the pull ups, the squats. You go as hard as you can for as long as you can, then you STOP. And it's OK. You sweat. You pant. Your heart pounds. Your muscles burn. You feel GOOD!

With Yoga you get into some fantastically twisted, painful and impossible to hold position and then the instructor says, "Now breath. Again. Stretching. Reaching, Breathing" for like a minute or more! If I wasn't sweating blood I'd fall asleep. And it's just oh so motivating when one falls over during a yoga position. Really makes me want to get right back into it. And that weird music. WAAAwawawa WAAAwawawa. Drives me nuts.

Then there's the clothing issue. Since you get into all kinds of crazy upsidedown positions, you can't wear regular work out clothes. T-shirt? No way - it'll hang in your face while your leg is in the air and your face down by your knee. Everything has to be fairly form fitting, though not restricting. Sigh. I could never do yoga in public.

The only fun time I've had with yoga is when I did it with Hubby. We talked and complained together the whole time. It was us against the DVD. Nice.

This morning I am alone. Hubby off to work. Kids asleep. Even the dog is still asleep. But if I'm going to fit it in today, it has to be now. Ack!

Saaaaave meeeeeee!

Sleeping In

2010-06-09T21:32:00.000-07:00

Today I slept in.

It was a luxurious, once in a blue moon occasion.

I went to bed on time last night too. It wasn't a late night that prompted the decadent lying in. I did it because I could. And usually, I can't. There are a variety of factors that force me to wake earlier than I'd prefer: MiniMe coming in and wanting to "snuggle" - which means touch my face and bounce and laugh and generally wake me up, Hubby getting ready for work, Lucy barking, anxiety, Rosie's 8am phone class...etc.

But today, when Hubby got up at whatever ungodly hour he arises, and clunks about getting dressed, making coffee, jangling keys...etc. I rose only slightly from my coma like stupor. I knew it was still early and I rolled over. Mmmmmm.....

About 7:15 I woke up again thinking I'd better get up and wake up Rosie for her 8am class. But I felt defiant. Rebellious. "Who cares if she misses one class?" I thought as I dozed off again. Later I heard her bumping about and talking on the phone, and felt content in my decision. She had gotten up on her own. Mmmmm. Roll over again, snuggle in the blankies and fade to black once again.

It's summer, after all! I deserve a good sleep in during the summer. I work my tail off all school year and I want to be a bum in the summer.

I finally woke up once and for all about 8:45 when MiniMe came in. She has been sick, and must've needed lots of sleep last night (thank GOD).

It felt soooo good to not rush. To not feel pressured. To luxuriate in laziness for one morning. But did I let it end there? No way.

Later in the day? I took a nap! Ha ha ha ha ha. It is the polar opposite of my normal life. But I thought, "Hey! It's summer and I don't HAVE to do anything in the next hour." So down I went on the reading chair with my feet up, and a blankie covering me. Aaahhhh. I probably only slept for 15 minutes. But it was lovely to just sit/lay there with my eyes closed, thinking of nothing.

Isn't that great?

P90X

2010-05-12T21:38:00.002-07:00

I'm bringing it!

Bringing what, you ask? Intensity. Commitment. Extreme-ness.

I am doing P90X. Ever heard of it? It's a fitness program where you do way too many workouts, everyday for 90 days. Push ups, pull ups, weights, core stuff, jumping, squats, lunges, yoga, stretching, all kinds of crazy stuff.

ARG is doing it with me. We follow a DVD program for about an hour each day until we are sweating and beat. One thing I can say for this program, it gives you a good workout.

But I can't say much, because we are only on day, like, 16 out of 90. We are newbies. Beginners.

I am hoping to be able to do one real pull up at the end of this program. And ten real (not girlie) push ups in good form. I'd like to look awesome and be healthier too. That would be nice.

It says if you do the program and follow the nutrition plan, you'll have a "beach body". If you don't follow the nutrition plan, which we are not (sadly), you will get in great shape - you just won't look like it. Hmmm..... I guess brownies don't cancel out the push ups, they just hide the effects from view under a layer of fat.

Thankfully the guy who lead the classes on the DVDs is pretty funny and un-annoying. He's a pretty good motivator too- Tony Horton.

You know what is the hardest part of all? You might think massive push ups, pull ups, squats, lunges and cardio jumping craziness. Nope. It's the yoga. The da$%#&m yoga. It is next to impossible (at least for us). Now I am a moderately flexible person. I can reach further than anyone in my family, nuclear and extended. But I am falling all over the place and giving up left and right during the yoga DVD. Plus it is darn tiring! It's like an hour and 20 minutes of H E double toothpick. And poor ARG just can't manage hardly any of it. He is uber-unflexible. And the twists and stange positions....well, he just can't get into them, much less hold them for 60 seconds. He doesn't get much of a work out the yoga day. That said, the other DVDs rock. They are very, very, very hard. But they are mostly do-able.

I am a little concerned that I have two trips planned during my 90 days of fitness extremeness. And one of them is camping - no DVDs there. I supposed I can bring DVDs to the hotel for the other trip. But there isn't much free space in most hotel rooms.....

My 90 days of bringing it! might turn into 100 days.

2010-05-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

I guess I can now be considered a sporadic blogger. I think of my dear blog often, And occasionally I have a few spare minutes to write. But let's face it, my brain cells are in high demand these days. I can't spare too many to write about .... whatever it is I write about.

Tonight I am pondering how life can be floating (lurching?) along quite nicely, or at least routinely, and then BOOM! Something hits you out of bleeping left field. I'll be concerned about ARG's fencing. I'll be worried about my crazy schedule. I'll wonder what to make for dinner tomorrow. And then POW! Whoa...never saw that coming.

Of course, I can't tell the teensiest detail of the POW to which I am referring in this post. Neener.

Don't worry. I'm healthy, The Fam are healthy. Not getting divorced. Hubby not losing job. (those are the big ones people might think of, right?)

But on top of the super-POW I received tonight, I got to counsel both my girlies who were hysterically crying over a fight. "She said she hates me and thinks I'm ugly! Waaaaaaaah" which was deftly responded to with "Well, you say that to ME sometimes." "No I don't!" "Yes you do!" Sigh......

Then my mom called to inform me she can't come over tomorrow. Man! There goes my day. Either ARG misses fencing or the girls have to come along (so fun for them). And my last minute plan to shop for Hubby's birthday present? Uh.....hmm.... not sure what I'll do. Swell.

I can really relate to people who take drugs and drink to escape reality. I'm not joking. Well I suppose I relate more to the desire to escape than the actually druggin and drinking my life away. That stuff just doesn't work. Too many side effects, mostly. And I never really forget my problems.

And tonight I have no Netflix DVD to watch. No book to read (unless you count Moby Dick, which I'm plowing through for teachings' sake). So it's me and the Internets tonight.

What are your favorite sites for entertainment, escaping reality or just fun stuff (no nasty stuff please!)

Questions about today

2010-04-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

I have been back from San Diego for three weeks or so. And even though there were so many things to write about, I couldn't seem to get the steam up to do it.

I am sitting here at 7:27am on a Monday morning. In a few minutes I'll wake up Rosie for her 8:00am history class, and then I will begin the daily juggle. What will MiniMe do for school today? Will she joyously bounce up and down because she "gets" something? Or will she droop and say "I'm tired" when I ask her to do something.

Will Rosie finish her history test? Will she be able to put her knowledge into sentences that make sense? (because I know she knows the material). Will ARG finish his paper on One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch? It's already late. Will he make the changes I suggested? Or will I have to give him his first bad grade of the semester?

Will Lucy yap all day, annoying the neighbors? That is a silly question - of course she will. I'll have to run interference between her and the neighbors ("get inSIDE!") and the girls ("stop playing with the dog and do your work!")

Will my back hurt? Will the telephone batteries last through both kids' history classes? Will the kids fight? (another dumb question) Will ARG get anything out of his book club? Will fencing be stressful tonight (for me)? Will ARG's coaches be as interested in advancing his fencing as I am?

Will I be able to find joy in the overwhelm that is my life? Will we laugh enough? Love enough?

San Diego: Day 1

2010-04-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

San Diego.

Palm trees. No rain. Flowers. Marines. Parade. Zoo. Tattoos. Punk rockers. Facial. Wine. Park. Kids. Newspaper in the morning. Bugs Bunny. Blues Brothers. Project Runway. Neighbor's Maserati. Joggers. Ocean. Suitcase. Old Town. Bizarre del Mundo. Mexican colors. Staying up late.

Tired and happy.

Dress Update

2010-03-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

...because I know you will all be sad if I go away to San Diego with out first telling you the outcome of my quest for the dress. (did I tell you I was going to San Diego for a week?)

Drum roll please.....

I FOUND MY DRESS!

It is just what I wanted. This might sound weird, but I actually prayed for help finding the right dress. And God is good. This dress kicks!

Well, I exaggerate in my enthusiasm. It is actually a very subtle dress, but it suites me very well. First of all, it is the exact color I was seeking: saphire (royal blue is not dazzling enough). This blue pops. It is crepe, but looks like satin. Basically, my good parts are enhanced, while my....not so good parts are hidden. (except for the flabbalanche arms - nothing I can do about that).

I wish I could post a picture - but I'm too lazy. Maybe at some point I'll do it.

But now, I am preparing to depart on a 9 day vacation in San Diego! With two days at Disneyland in the middle. Woot! MiniMe's first time. She's a Disneyland virgin. I can't wait. I'm already there in my mind.

School? Shmool this week.

Nine days of relaxation. No cooking. Minimal cleaning. Lots of TV watching (live Project Runway!) Pleasant family members who love us.

Aaaaaaahhhhh.
(now watch, it'll be horrible because I have high expectations)

A True Miscellanea

2010-03-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

People who talk about how "busy" they are annoy me. But then I find myself realizing that being "busy" is a prominent theme in my life right now. Maybe I'm just not accustomed to the rushiness of my current situation. Perhaps I got too comfortable in the bubble of pregnancy/baby/toddler/young children-hood. Life wasn't "busy" then.

But now *sigh* I have a teen, a preteen, a five year old and many different classes, activities and commitments. I drive way too much. I rush way too much. Even when I have an hour or so with no definite commitment, I feel anxious to accomplish the humongous list of STUFF I've got to do. Bills, school research, fencing research, church organization....and FB Scrabble for goodness sakes.

Occasionally I look to a nice glass of wine to help me relax. And it does, for about a half hour. Then I'm just tired and want to sleep. Doesn't make me very productive.

If I met me, I would be annoyed.

And now for something completely different....

I might have a dress! Nordstrom - love 'em! Need to decide between royal blue or rosey/pink (but not a little girl pink, and not magenta either). It's not a knock'em dead dress. But let's face it, a "knock'em dead" body is a prerequisite to get that effect. But it's pretty, simple and not too revealing. I'm going in a few days to try it on again - bringing my BFF for a second opinion.

A small glimpse into our school day:

MiniMe - "A rat sat on Pam."

Rosie - "Lavoisier was the founder of modern chemistry."

ARG - "Finally got that mersenne prime algorithm working." (what does that even mean?)

Tomorrow NanNan comes and we'll have our first celebration of her birthday (the other comes over the weekend with the whole family). I foresee homemade pesto, sausage pizza. I predict warm brownies, vanilla icecream and homemade hot fudge on top.

Tomorrow won't help me look good in my dress.

Dress Dress Dress

2010-03-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

I need a dress.

A stunning, gorgeous, fashionable, floor length gown. It must make me look fabulous. Does such a dress exist?

The occasion for this fabulous frock? Hubby's parents are celebrating their 50th anniversary in August. Isn't that awesome? Fifty years man.... that's a long time to sleep next to someone. Though they didn't sleep together a lot during Vietnam, but that's another story. We are all super excited to honor them and party with them on their 50th. Family and friends from all over the country are coming.

It will be in August, in San Francisco, at the Marine Memorial Hotel. So Hubby and I are sort of, unofficially, the hosts. We'll be looked to for good times before and after the big event. (recommendations for restaurants & hot spots that accomodate 26 people at once will be appreciated!)

You might wonder, "why must she get a floor length dress?" Let me tell you. The last evening of the last sisters trip to NYC we had dinner and a swishy French restaurant. After perhaps a few too many glasses of superb french wine, we all agreed to go formal for the 50th. Women in floor length gowns, men in tuxedos. The poor men. Poor us too. What were we thinking? At least we should get some pretty awesome pictures.

My quest for the mythic gown began last year. For months and months I've visited the many department stores and bridal boutiques that carry such dresses. Saks. Macy's. Nordstrom. No luck. I've also searched extensively online. Nada. (mostly because I would be too scared to order something without trying it on first)

It seems that most dresses are targetted at either a.) skinny mini 24 year olds or b.) mothers of the bride. And I am NOT wearing a MOB dress. I know I'm getting old, but jeesh! Sadly, all the non MOB dresses are strapless or very much sleeveless. So my flabbalanche arms will be out for the world to see. Sigh.

I am feeling a bit hopeful about Nordy's, as their dresses are reasonably priced (under $200 mostly) and I was told they are getting a lot of new dresses in soon. Keep your fingers crossed.

If I don't find a dress by May, I'll probably have to order a bridesmaid-type dress from a bridal store. It will be nice, but boring. We'll see.

I will definitely keep you posted.

Love My Hubby

2010-02-27T16:48:00.000-08:00

Today I attended a memorial for a man from our church. He was only a few years older than I am. I didn't know him very well, but his son is a friend of Rosie's - came to her birthday party last year.

It was so sad to see his beautiful wife and three sons weeping and holding on to each other throughout
the memorial. But it was beautiful to see too. Over five hundred people turned up to honor this man, which says a lot about the kind of man he was. Lots and lots of people really loved him.

I know it is selfish of me, but I couldn't help thinking "What would it be like if it was Hubby who died? or me?" What kinds of things would I say or would people say about me at a memorial? It made me feel a little scared, like time is running out to become the person I want to be.

But it motivated me to consider all the things I love about my very-much-alive Hubby. So I can tell him now, today:

I love Hubby:

- because he goes to work every day to support us.
- when he sings (it means he is happy).
- because he rides bikes with MiniMe.
- because he always supports my growth and all my endeavors
- in his new glasses!
- because he loves the ocean.
- because he is SO generous with his time and money.
- because he knows how to fix things.
- he thinks I am beautiful at any weight.
- because he is the best beer brewer I know!
- because he'll go dancing with me.
- because he's willing to change and grow.
- because he puts up with my imperfections (It's TRUE! I actually have some!)
- because he loves his kids.
- because he loves my cooking.
- because he doesn't constantly buy new sporting, mechanical or computer equipment.
- because he gave me my first bible (with my name inscribed in gold letters on the front cover)
- because he loves me.

I'm going to tell him all these things tonight.

We've got to squeeze love and meaning out of every drop of life.

Crime and Punishment

2010-02-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

Lately I am reading classics - trying to plan ahead for teaching English to ARG in the next few years.

Just finished reading Dostoyevsky's "Crime and Punishment".

I don't have the time, energy or (frankly) the desire to write a whole essay about the novel. But I do have a few thoughts.

What a hard book to start. The first several chapters are almost painful. Rodya, the main character and the perpetrator of the crime is not a loveable character. But worse than that, Dostoyevsky gives us a minds-eye view of all Rodya's thoughts leading up to, during and after the crime. The guy is nuts. And living inside his head for hours on end is disturbing.

But I perservered. Not just because I thought I ought to, but because there was something strangely compelling. I think it was the dialogue between the characters that grabbed me. And the fact that there were more characters, not just the crazy Rodya. The exchanges between the characters were fascinating. I don't even know why - I'll confess. But I was enthralled by the conversations. And further on in the story, honorable and virtuous characters are introduced that round out the cast.

The other thing that Dostoyevsky does masterfully is describe the inner dialogue that goes through people's minds. He gives glimpses into the thought processes of a few characters - and he is so spot on. I've never read anyone who can accurately, or perhaps better said - realistically, narrate a characters inner thoughts.And for those characters whose heads aren't opened up, such a complete picture is painted that the reader can't help but understand what is going through their hearts and minds.

So, in the end, I really loved the book! I couldn't put it down. I couldn't wait to learn Rodya's ultimate fate.

If I had more time, I'd write about what I thought of the ending. But ARG needs to computer now for school work. Maybe another time.

Family Vacation #1 (of 2010)

2010-02-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

I have always been the vacation planner in our family. I'm just a planner in general, so it suites me. Dreaming of places to visit and crafting a vacation months in advance is fun.

A few months ago I had the lightening bolt realization that ARG will only be with us for four more years (!). If we're going to make fun, family vacation memories, we'd better get started. Yes, we go to San Diego twice a year. But we stay at Hubby's folks' house, and we visit with the extended family the whole time. It's not a "real", or at least not a "nuclear" family vacation.

So my goal for the next few years is to get us on two or three "real" family vacations each year. Of course, my challenge for the next few years is funding said vacations. I wish I knew how could earn some money. I guess we'll be camping a lot. But camping in February is not ideal, to say the least. So we had to bite the bullet and pay for a hotel this time.

We decided to go to Monterey for our first family vacation of 2010. Part of the reason we chose Monterey was that Hubby's sister was going to be there on business, and we could visit with her for a day.

As we drove south on Hwy 1 Saturday morning we saw the fire trucks and ambulances heading north. "Uh oh," said Hubby "That's not good". We learned later about the monster wave that hit the Mavericks spectators and workers during the surfing contest. Yikes.

ANYways, the drive down was fine. But don't ever stop in Davenport for a mocha. I paid $4 for the lamest, smallest mocha known to man. It was like warm coffee flavored milk with a hint of cocoa powder. Blech. My vacation kick-off treat was a flop.

The first place we visited, and the highlight of our trip, was Point Lobos State Preserve. The waves were epic that day. We hiked on a trail that took us up high to rocks with a sheer drop down to the crashing waves. We enjoyed the spray of the super-high waves (though I had to keep a death-grip on MiniMe who has an astounding lack of fear for personal safety).

At the next amazingly beautiful view we saw whales! Spouts! Fins! I was jumping up and down. My family thought I was weird. But it was exciting! At many other unbelievably gorgeous vistas we gawked at the stunning beauty of the CA coast, and then took way too many pictures (see my FB album if you care). Gnarled and windswept cypress trees, dramatic shoreline, purple irises, giant waves and a blimp!

We met up with sister in law (SIL) at Pt. Lobos and headed out on another trail. Massive crashing waves. Beautiful warm sun. Whale spouts. Magical pelicans flying RIGHT NEXT to us. Can you tell I had a good time? Sigh.

It was a bit of a come down to land at our hotel. The Quality Inn of Monterey. Meh. It's the kind of place you'd be happy with if you got a screaming deal. The rooms are... OK. Clean, but reeking of who knows what kind of toxic chemical cleaners. The bathroom was miniscule. But we didn't get a screaming deal. In fact we paid way too much. More than I usually pay for a hotel room. I had no idea I planned our vacation the same weekend as the AT&T Pro Am at Pebble Beach. Oops.

The good thing about the hotel was the indoor pool and hot tub. The kids had a blast swimming and swimming and swimming. It's not that the pool was so supreme. Just that it was a pool. Kids are not too picky about where they swim.

Knowing how much we spent on the hotel made paying for meals even more painful for me. I admit that I am a bit of a stinge, in general. I like to think of myself as "frugal". So, paying clost to $100 for dinners is rough for me. I usually made Hubby pay and figure the tip and all that. I avoid it and pretend it isn't happening. But the restaurant - "so and so's Chowder House" - was actually very good.

Oh - and an unplanned benefit of being in a hotel room: we got to watch the Olympics! We have no cable at home, and the Olympics is the ONLY time we really miss it. That was fun. Now we're jonesin' for more.

On Sunday we visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium after an incredible walk along the shoreline trail. Thanks to a friend (thank you! thank you!) we had four complimentary passes, and only had to pay for MiniMe to get in. What a great aquarium. There is so much to see, and it is so attractive. MiniMe was especially overjoyed by the exhibits. It warms a mommy's heart to have her little one run squeeling to an exhibit and shouting "Mommy look at this......(fill in aquatic life form)!" It was awesome. ARG was not so into it. He is such a teen. After watching a show in the little theatre, he wandered the aquarium for hours on his own, only meeting up with us at lunch time.

One of the coolest things we saw was a sea otter on it's back with a baby on it's belly out on the bay. We looked through those monstrous telescope type things that are on the aquarium deck. It was the epitome of cute.

After another afternoon of swimming we topped off the day with amazing food at a Lebanese restaurant: cucumber salad, shwarma and baklava. Mmmmm. OK, I confess. We also walked down to the Crepe shop on the main drag and I had a chocolate and fresh strawberry crepe. I didn't share. Hubby used the words "devour" and "inhale" when describing it later.

When your oldest is 13 and your youngest is 5 it is not easy to find activities that appeal to everyone. We had hoped to go kayaking, but the swells were just too big and they weren't renting. So it was really a MiniMe weekend. In keeping with that, we visited the fabulous Dennis the Menace park two times. ARG protested, but it was too good to pass on. And MiniMe was thrilled. Swings, a climbing wall, multiple play structures with unique slides (the bumpy slide was especially fun - I tried), a hanging bridge, a maze - all surrounded by a lake with paddle boats paddling around. Very cool.

So, all in all, it was a great trip. I wouldn't go back to that hotel (and I was really excited to wash all our laundry and shower when we got home). But we don't need luxury and perfection to have a great time.

Next trip is in May: camping three nights at Jenkinson Lake in the Sierra foothills. Wahoo!

Day of Rest?

2010-01-31T17:12:00.000-08:00

As a Christian, I am instructed in the bible to rest on the Sabbath. When I was young and energetic I didn't think I needed a day of rest. Now that I am .... getting older ..... I can fully appreciate why the Lord would set aside one day each week for rest (and prayer and worship...etc.)

But folks, I don't get any rest on Sundays. Writing THIS is my rest. And as you know, I haven't been writing here much lately.

It's a combination of serving at church (which is awesome, but often extremely tiring, not to mention time consuming), fencing tournaments, cooking & cleaning, helping with homework, playdates...etc. It just seems like I end up with about one hour of free time on Sundays - and that is not enough!

Today I served only for the first service of church, which was a really nice change. I mean, I love Pastor Dave's sermons, but I don't need to hear them twice in the same morning. Ya know?

At home, I cleaned up the kitchen from yesterday (I was out all day). Then I moved on to my disgustingly dirty and damp backyard. Cutting vines, moving furniture, sweeping, spraying and picking up dog poop. (oh, did I mention that Hubby's folks are coming on Wednesday? hence all the cleaning)

After that, I proceeded to vacuum the entire first floor of the house, wood and rugs. That took some time.

Next I spent over an hour in the kitchen preparing a super-healthy veggie/pasta salad that I HOPE my kids will eat. While I washed, chopped, boiled and mixed, I helped ARG prepare for his history test. It's tomorrow. What is the essence of the Renaissance and all that.

Paid (or avoided) bills. Got Lucy her dog license (finally!) Read FB. And now this.

As I type this post Rosie is pleading, "Will we eat soon? I'm so HUNGRY!"

After dinner, I'll go pick up ARG from his youth group. Then put MiniMe to bed.

Then put ME to bed.

As my sister-in-law said: "I'm doing this because I GET to do it." And that is true. I love that I can cook healthy food for my family. And having Hubby's folks is always so rewarding and fun. And let's face it, I'll feel better walking in the back yard now that the poop is picked-up. So it's all good things.

But where is my day of rest?

What can I say?

2010-01-27T20:54:00.000-08:00

Inertia is a strong force.

I stopped posting when things got crazy during the holidays, then busy with back to school.

But three (count them!) people asked me when I was going to post again (darlings, you know who you are). This PROVES that there are more than two buddies who read my blog. Ha. There may even be FOUR people who check in from time to time. Amazing.

But what topic to write about for my 2010 debut post?
- how Lucy ate two Spanish dolls handed down from my GranNina?
- how both ARG and Rosie have been snuffling and coughing for two weeks?
- how Hubby got a new job and is a more relaxed fellow?
- how infinitely sweet and adorable MiniMe is (when she's not whining)?
- how my chauffeuring schedule has dramatically improved?
- how I valiantly strive to manifest a family vacation? (Monterey here we come!)
- how I went to a national fencing tournament and DIDN'T get nervous?
- how I'm reading Aristotle for the first time? (well, maybe I read some in college)
- how I pulled my back with an especially powerful sneeze? (is there any surer indicator of aging?)

No, the most compelling and appropriate topic for my first post back is.....

My wart.

Got one on my finger. Left. Ring. I wouldn't mind so much except it gets banged and bumped a lot, causing swelling and pain. Plus, the dang thing is ugly!

I had a huge wart on the back of my heel as a child. I went through many treatments to get rid of the darn thing. Freezing with liquid nitrogen (ouch!). Burning with acid (ouch!) What finally did it though, was a cauterizing knife. I'll never forget the SEVENTEEN shots to numb the area before the cutting began. They hurt like the dickens! I cried. My mom cried. But the wart died.

This time though, I am going to try home remedies first. Mostly because we just went with a Health Savings Account, and I have to pay for all medical care out of my own pocket now.

The first idea came from my mom, who got it from some show on TV. Dr. Somethingorother said you can smother a wart by keeping it covered with electrical tape for two weeks. Since I didn't have any electrical tape handy, I just went with a wet bandaid. (I know, it's a bit gross) I do change the thing every day. But I keep it wet. Then, after about four days I noticed the wart was white and soft. So, as Dr. Somethingorother recommended, I took an emory board and FILED the darn thing down.

It was a trip. Most of it got sanded right off. And it didn't hurt. The huge volcano shaped wart is now a butte (no! not butt) shaped wart. It's levelled off.

But I think the evil fungus has roots deep under the skin. And I can't file my skin off. So....

While I keep it covered with a bandaid, I'm considering my next move: Wart Wonder. Seriously. My kids' pediatrician actually recommended it. I'm going to give it a go. I just need to find a place that sells it cheaper than GreenLeaf. $25.99 - what a rip!

So there it is. My wart saga.

Maybe next time I have a spare twenty minutes when I can actually think (summertime, perhaps?) I'll fill you in on another critical conundrum in my life: WHAT TO DO WITH MY HAIR!

vacation...I wish

2009-12-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

While many may be interested and regaled by stories from my crazy, mixed-up life (you know, the life that keeps me from writing posts), I don't really feel like going there.

Instead I am going on vacation........

I am lying on a warm beach in Hawaii. Probably Kauii. My muscles are completely relaxed. The chi chi helped with that. My mind is pleasantly slow. Chi chi, again.

Earlier today I ran 6 miles on the beach. The fresh breeze off the ocean cooled me as I sweated. I felt strong and healthy as my legs pumped through the sand. The blue ocean vista on one side, and funny tourists on the other was beautiful and entertaining.

So as I lay on the sand I feel that I have earned the right to rest and be lazy. The repetitive sound of the waves crashing lulls me and somehow instills a peaceful feeling deep inside. Hubby is relaxing next to me. He probably ran earlier today too. No, he surfed. And is mightily pleased and content with his performance.

The kids are not here. They are home being cared for lovingly by their grandma.

Hubby and I are talking about important things, but in a relaxed, agreeable way. He enjoys chi chi's too.
Tonight will be fun. We will go to a sweet restaurant and enjoy fresh fish and fruit and complex flavors. Then we'll take a long walk on the beach, holding hands. Later, well......

Tomorrow we have planned a long hike through the rainforest. First we will have large cups of Kona coffee and a delicious breakfast of pineapple, bacon and eggs. We'll pack a lunch and take lots of pictures. I'll post them on FB when we get back.

...........so, that's where I'd like to be folks.

I love certain things about Christmas, but NOT the busy-ness and craziness. Next year, things will be different.

It's half full darn it!

2009-11-23T21:04:00.000-08:00

I have known for a long time that I am a "cup half empty" [henceforth known as CHE] type of person. I'm not sure why I turned out that way - it wasn't on purpose. Until recently, I didn't see it as much of a problem (that's weird - I didn't see the cup half empty in a cup half empty way....)

But recently I've been realizing that being a cup half empty person is a real drag. When I have a choice about how to perceive and respond to a person, situation...whatever, I end up doing the mostly negative route. By habit. I'm conditioned. The ruts in my brain are set.

How lame is that? Aside from being un-fun and uncomfortable, it is the opposite of what Jesus teaches. Jesus teaches us to grow in love, kindness, respect, honor....all the good stuff. Not get stuck in the bad attitude of the day.

The only potential benefit of seeing things in the CHE way is that (I believe) it helps me have a pretty good grasp on reality. No rosy glasses and all that. But I suppose it skews my reality more than I'd like to admit.

So, I've been trying to shift my attitude to....you guessed it - "Cup Half Full"! It is strange and requires my full attention and intention to make it happen. Those ruts in the brain? They are strong. But I really don't want to live the rest of my life in a negative funk. I'd even risk having rosy glasses on if it helped me feel better most of the time.

Negative thoughts? They equal negative feelings. And I dont' need any more of those.

A new era

2009-11-20T16:35:00.000-08:00

A new era has dawned in our little family. A paradigm shift. A turning point.

ARG has his first paying job!

Do you know how long I have waited for this? Well, I guess it's not that hard to figure out. Thirteen years I've been waiting! My little consumer has turned a corner and is beginning on his path towards being a producer for the family. Woot!

When it rains it pours, because he actually has two jobs.

Thanks to Hubby who has larned'im how to do computer stuff - he has his first gig helping someone with their website. A cashola - paying gig! I am strongly encouraging ARG to help out the fam by sharing some of his beaucoup dolores with us (read - me). He hasn't actually gotten any money yet. Hopefully he'll do a bang-up job and get more jobs in the future. Dreamy.....

The other foot-in-the-door on the way to bringing-home-the-baconhood is a job helping run a fencing class for little tykes at his fencing club. His first day is today. In return he gets a free private lesson. YES! Saves me that much more money. Historically, ARG hasn't been a huge fan of younger kids, but I'm hoping that the fencing element will give him the enthusiasm to do a good job.

Pretty cool, huh?

Now, when can Rosie start babysitting?

Uber-lame

2009-11-20T08:42:00.001-08:00

Had to delete my last post (which was stellar, of course) because of lame porno link that someone put in a comment.

Sorry to deprive you of my brilliance.

Urg.

Kansas City.

2009-11-14T10:40:00.000-08:00

We're back! Actually we've been back for 5 days but it took me this long to get to my blog.

What can I say about our trip to Kansas City? (with the usual caveat of not being able to say anything really important for fear of offending anyone).

It was good.

No, seriously. It was pretty fun. But totally overwhelming for me (mentally, emotionally & financially).

Our flights out were on time with no problems. Does that even happen anymore? Fifty bucks for the cab to the hotel - ouch. The Marriot downtown was very nice. And thanks to my Dad fronting us some Marriot points, we got onto the top floor with access to that special room where rich people get to steal water, snacks and coffee.

I had to buy ARG a new lamé (ka-ching) and glove (ka-ching), but the rest of his gear passed inspection. We watched the girls fence Friday and I tell ya, it is a whole different experience being at a tournament when ARG isn't fencing. It is interesting. And fun. None of the girls we know did very well, unfortunately.

The days when ARG competed were soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
stressful for me. I just get so darn nervous! I have to make sure ARG gets where he needs to be on time. I have to chit chat amiably with other fencing parents while feeling like I need to barf. I have to keep score of ARG's pools, take pictures, carry backup cords & blade, hand him
water during his 1 minute break and cheer (discreetly).

My body completely tenses as I feel every blow he receives and try to magically help him score points by my efforts. Crazy. I was actually sore the next day. But I felt better after I saw another fencing mom jumping, dodging and lunging around the side of the strip while her son fenced. It's kind of like when I hold my breath while MiniMe is underwater at swim lessons. I don't know why I do it, I just do.

To be helpful to ARG I have to keep my cool, not show my nerves, and mostly be quiet throughout the tournament. And friends? That is just NOT my style. When I'm nervous, I'm chatty. You can imagine the mental gymnastics I do in my head to stay on task at a tournament.

In the end ARG did OK. Not great. Not terrible. Right in the middle. Somewhat anticlimactic.

But the testosterone levels at those national tournaments is overwhelming. You might think fencing is a courtly sport for pansies. Wrong. These guys are in top athletic shape. They have been training for years and they are passionate, focused and intense. There is A LOT of yelling going on. Mostly the fencers when they get a point. Sometimes the coaches yell. Oh, did I mention that most of the coaches are middle aged Eastern European or Russian men? Not exactly your warm and cuddly types.

I took one day off from the fencing frenzy to visit a very nice art museum in KC. By myself. ARG wanted to go watch the girls again. And that was fine, because the convention center was a block away from the hotel.

We went out several nights with all the families from our club. That was fun, but pricey. The BBQ in KC was awesome. Everyone is super nice. But everyone has their kids on the super competitive track with fencing, and so that is almost all that is talked about. That can get old after a while.

I'm glad we went. I didn't have to cook or clean for 4 days (ahhhh....) And I learn a lot about fencing, and what it will take for ARG to compete well on a national level. But that, is another post.

Kansas City, Baby!

2009-11-04T16:45:00.000-08:00

I have printed our boarding passes.

I have packed the suitcase.

We are ready to go.

Tomorrow ARG and I set off for a grand adventure in Kansas City, MO! Did you think Kansas City was in Kansas? So did I. You learn something new everyday.

ARG will be brandishing his trusty sabre at the North America Cup in the Youth 14 and Cadet (16 and under) events. As I have mentioned before, fencing is really wierd. One can never predict the outcome of a tournament. The range of possibilities is pretty darn wide, due to the many variables that go into the fencing equation:
- referee (how does THIS one call things? how fast can ARG adapt to the ref's style?)
- who is in ARG's pool (points from the pools determine who you will fence in DEs)
- an OFF day, or an ON day - it can go either way for an athlete
- who ARG faces in the DE's
It's a crap shoot. Sometimes you get easy people for the first few DE's. Sometimes you get the gold medal winner in your first one. You just never know.

He could literally place anywhere from the top 8, to .... somewhere around 90th. It is most likely that he will place in the top 64. Hopefully the top 32. Excitingly the top 16. Ecstatically, jumping up and down, screaming "Hooray!" for the top 8.

I always get a little nervous before I travel. I am weird and neurotic that way. It would be so nice if I could just cruise onto a plane and enjoy the free time to sit and read or watch a movie. But no, I worry and fret. I pray over the plane. I ask my friends to pray. I prepare for death.

You can imagine that saying goodbye to hubby and girls is a bit traumatic for me, as I always imagine the possibility of never seeing them again.

But after 41 years of flying, experience has shown me that I usually never die. And I almost always have a great time wherever I am going.

So, I'm counting on that. Maybe I'll have a life changing steak. Who knows?

Not a grinch.

2009-10-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

I am not a complete Halloween grinch - I'm about to go buy pumpkins right now. So there.

Today I bought the requisite candy to have by the door, though no one ever comes to our house at the end of a cul de sac. I was naughty this year and bought stuff that I like: Kit Kats and mini Heath bars. Can you say tight jeans?

Tomorrow I will happily help my little ones get into costume. I actually enjoy doing the face paint. I get to be creative and wild.

I believe I will luck and and get to stay home, supervising the teens while the Hubby goes out with the little ones. It is a good deal, because he will stay out way longer than I would, and I can rest assured that no funny business is going on at home. Plus I get to stay warm and comfy and
eat candy that I like.

See? I'm getting into the spirit of it.

Pumpkin Blues

2009-10-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

I can see how most people would feel rather fond of pumpkins. They are kind of cute. Round, colorful, a symbol of fall, thanksgiving, cornucopias and all that.

But to me, pumpkins have a whole different significance. You see, I live on the San Mateo coast about 7 miles north of Half Moon Bay, the pumpkin capitol (darn it - is it capital with an "a"? or capitol with an "o"?) of the world.

Each fall we witness the grand pumpkin mecca to our scenic coast.

The flower farms along highway 92 (ONE lane each way, mind you) place thousands of pumpkins in their fallow fields. They set up orange bouncy houses and inflatable slides. And pumpkin seekers numbering in the thousands journey here to have a "country" pumpkin experience (even though they are probably buying the exact same pumpkins that their local Safeway sells).

They clog the highway with their sheer numbers. They turn slowly in and out of the flower farms. They WALK across the highway for petes sake. Highway 92 is the ONLY outlet from the coast to the peninsula (unless you count super long, twisty roads that make you barf and take about 2 hours).

Every fall, beginning in late September the ride over 92 gets slower and slower until it is stop and go the whole way (until you pass the flower farms, of course, then it's a straight shot). From mid October through Halloween it's just a mess. We basically have to avoid 92 for a month, by driving north and coming over and down into Pacifica (an addition of 15 minutes).

All this complaining for 15 minutes? YES!

Why should 3 flower farms get to hold the entire coast hostage for a month each year? Why do people insist on coming here for their pumpkins?

It has always bugged me, and now I'm venting.

Don't even get me started on the pumpkin festival. Can you say millions of people in way too small a space? Eeesh.

Then there's the whole pumpkin carving saga. My kids always want to get some and carve them. Right. Like I'll let my 5 year old carve anything or get near a sharp knife. So it means that I have to carve. Blech. And I have to follow exact directions from the kids on how the jack o lantern must look. There will be tears if I don't get it right. Oh joy.

So you can see, pumpkins are not my favorite things.

Down with Halloween

2009-10-14T20:09:00.001-07:00

I hate to be a party pooper. But what a lame holiday. It is at the absolute bottom of my list of favorite holidays (at least on Labor Day you get a day off from work).

First there are the humongous amounts of disgusting and cheap candy that my kids take in and want to eat all in one day.

Then there is the fact that I have to walk around in the dark and cold, trying to keep track of my kiddies amongst throngs of screaming and running kids.

Plus, I have to help them come up with some costume (which I'll admit is fun for them) at minimal or no cost.

Finally, there is the general creepiness and death worshipping atmosphere created for the whole month of October. Let me explain.

My five year old daughter is tough. I mean tough. She hits her big brother hard (and hurts him!) But she freaks out at the scary decorations that are all over the place during Halloween. In Trader Joe's today she walked in and immediately said,

"Mommy I'm scared! I need to hold your hand. Can I go in the cart?" and later as we strolled along, "I can't go down that aisle," pointing to the scary witch poster hung on the wall. She was scared the whole time we were in the store.

Halloween has been a whole big controversy at our church too. We used to have a "harvest festival" as a Halloween alternative - but even that got cancelled this year. They don't want to have anything to do with a holiday associated with evil things. OK. Alright. But now I'm stuck having to figure out something for my kids to do.

MiniMe insists on trick or treating and visiting the "witches house". Says she won't be scared. Uh huh.

I can appreciate how fun it is for kids to dress up (we usually to non-scary things like pirates or princesses or jedi knights). But overall, there's just nothing positive about this holiday in my book.

Down with Halloween!

Time Time Time

2009-10-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

Look what's become of me....

That song keeps going around in my head.

I am frantic. I am busy (and not in the "I am important and valuable because I am busy" way). I have so much going on in my head all the time. Sometimes I want to take a pill that will let my brain relax (darn all those side effects!)

With ARG taking a class at College of San Mateo three days a week, plus fencing 4 times a week over the hill - I am driving way too much. My poor neck is killing me. And both kids are taking a phone class - Rosie's is at 8am in the morning! Oy! I am ashamed to say that I struggle to wake up by then. Because I've been awake while Hubby gets ready at 6am, and then I fall back asleep. So from the very start of the day it's rush, rush, rush.

I am starting to look back so fondly on the days when I would read to the kids on the couch for hours! I'm not doing it! I'm so lame! Poor MiniMe is not getting what the other two got. It's killing me. Well, maybe not killing, but it makes me sad and a bit ashamed. I need to read to her more than anything, and I just can't seem to make it happen.

When I sit down with her to read, invariably one of the other kids asks for help with math or an essay. I try to put them off for a while, but they just sit there wasting time until I come. So I end up interrupting my reading time with MiniMe. Sigh.

And I confess, that it is way more stimulating and interesting for me to help ARG with high school level work than to teach phonics and place value for the third time. And when he really needs help in a class where he's getting a grade, I feel that takes priority. And Rosie is such a sweetie that I just write out assignments and tell her to go do them. And she does. I'm not reading enough to her either.

I used to be able to read to both ARG and Rosie, but it is almost impossible to read to Rosie and MiniMe, as they are 5 years apart. Too boring for one, or incomprehensible to the other.

Today I realized a book I've been trying to read to them is overdue. I've renewed it twice already. And it is a small book. In years past I would've finished that book in three or four days. Not three or four weeks. Heavy sigh.

I suppose I need a plan. I suppose I ought to get more organized. But every day is different! Some days the big kids are more independent. Others they need me for hours. Ugh.

I know I am moaning and groaning about a job I have chosen. But I still need to moan and groan from time to time.

Old

2009-09-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

I am truly getting old when the most interesting things to write about are my health complaints.

I had my yearly thyroid test and doc appointment a few days ago. Good news! My old throat gland is still producing all the appropriate hormones at levels within the "normal" range. I'm not having any symptoms either. So I'm good! Hashimoto ain't got nothin on me for another year.

(the best news that made me the happiest is that I weigh .1 lb. less than I did last year! Woot!)

The doc said that probably by the time I'm fifty or sixty (eons away!) my thyroid will "burn out" and stop producing enough hormones. Then I'll have to take meds everyday. Oh well. I suppose there are worse things.

Speaking of taking meds everyday; I am going to do an experiment. In an effort to relieve my chronically congested and often painful sinuses, I am going to take my allergy medicine every night for a few weeks. I always thought the allergy meds just stopped the sneezing and stuff. But my thyroid doc said that IF my congested sinuses were caused by allergies, an antihistamine might help stop the congestion.

That would sure be nice. I've been waking up lately with so much pressure in my nasal, ear, general head area passages that I can't go back to sleep. It makes my neck muscles and jaw muscles hurt too. Bummer. So, we'll see if feeling "edgy" (which I often do on the allergy meds) is worth clearing up the sinuses.

On the topic of health, I've been striving semi-mightily to be careful about my food in the last week. When my "fat jeans" resemble sausage casings, I know it's time to get a grip.

One tactic that has worked for me in the past, is to eat one large, healthy meal at about 2:30 in the afternoon. Then I'm not hungry at dinner time, and can get by on humongous amounts of water for the rest of the evening. I'm pretty sure I get enough vitamins and minerals, but I cut way down on the overall calories. I don't do it forever. Just for a week.

I guess I picked the wrong week. It seems like every night there is a very compelling reason to eat dinner too: date night with Hubby, eating out with ARG for his English assignment (he has to do a restaurant review), guests visitng...etc. It hasn't worked real well so far. My jeans are feeling pretty restricting even as I write.

Jeans don't lie - I always say.

I've pretty much given up on the idea that I will be one of the people (I know they exist) that eat reasonable portions of reasonable meals and only have dessert ocassionally. I just haven't been able to do that (for whatever lame reasons). I'm reasonably good on the exercise side of things, but the (over) eating has always been my achilles heel.

Maybe next week.

Values

2009-09-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

As usual, I am stealing borrowing from Beth (because she said it so good, I can't say it better!).

My values are not about...

"Right vs. Left or Republican vs. Democrat.
The principles I believe in are all variations of one essential battle:

for Individual Rights and against Statism. (woo hoo!)

I am for Equality before the Law instead of Egalitarianism.

I am for Property Rights instead of Legal Plunder.

I am for Constitutional Limits instead of Unlimited Majority Rule.

I am for Peace instead of the Initiation of Force.

I am for Wealth Production instead of Wealth Distribution.

I am for Compassion instead of Envy.

I am for Charity instead of involuntary, government welfare programs.

I am for Personal Responsibility instead of the Nanny State.

I am for Community, which to me means living together in freedom, and interacting voluntarily, not using the ballot box to force my neighbor into actions he would otherwise not choose to take.

I am for the Free Trade of value-for-value, not government control of my economics choices.

I am for the Pursuit of Happiness, and the right of each of us to live for our own sake--not laws which require me to live for the sake of others, or others to live for the sake of me."

BTW, did you know it is Constitution Day today?

:)

Separation Anxiety

2009-09-14T19:45:00.001-07:00

I remember when my kids hit about 9 months old and entered into the "separation anxiety" phase. They wouldn't go to anyone but me. They would cry if I walked out of the room. They would cry if a stranger reached out to them.

It passed. At about 2 years old they evened out, and got used to other people.

Recently, something strange has happened with MiniMe. She has re-entered separation anxiety phase. Neither of my other kids did this, so I'm not really prepared.

She follows me everywhere. She gets upset if I walk out of the room. She always wants to know where I am. Going to bed at night? Ugh. Leaving your kid in a room at night when she's screaming "I NEED YOU!!!!!" with desparation in her voice does wonders for the nerves.

And today? I'm sitting on the can, taking a moment for myself, when I hear her desperately crying out for me.

"MAMAAAAAA!" with real fear in her voice. So there I am....and I have to YELL that I'm in the bathroom so she can come find me. Which she does. Crying.

"I was sad! I didn't know where you were," she sobbed.

Moms are nothing if not multitaskers, right? I can do my business and hug and comfort my distressed child at the same time. Gross, I know. But, what choice did I have?

MiniMe is like my little shadow. When I do the laundry? There she is. In the kitchen? Right there. If I go down to the garage to get something out of the car, she follows me down.

Now, I love my baby girl. And I have an enhanced, bitter-sweet appreciation of her sweet little girlness, since she's my last. But there is only so much five year old chatter I can handle in one day. I mean, I've heard the recap of "Madagascar's" funniest moments more times than I care to mention. Occasionally I comfort myself that I'm modelling good parenting to my older kids when I say, "Sure honey, tell me all about what you thought was funny in the movie you watched last night." But it wears me out.

I suppose she'll grow out of it. And then, I'll probably miss it, right?

One More Friday Night

2009-09-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at First Place Fencing on a Friday night. Let the excitement begin.

I used to dread sitting at fencing practice. I couldn't think of anything more boring. But now I have a new perspective. There are several advantages to being at fencing (instead of at home):

- I don't have to do the dishes (tonight - might have to do some in the morning)
- I don't have to put MiniMe to bed
- I get to sit on my behind, not exert any effort or think for several hours
- I get to watch my man/boy exerting himself and having fun
- I get to insight into the mysterious world of teens (it was mysterious to me even when I was a teen)
- I talk with other fencing parents and get up to date on all the current fencing gossip

Surprisingly, over the past few months I have gained a new appreciation for fencing. A few weeks ago I finally learned what some of the hand signals mean (that the director does). That opened up a whole new world of understanding for me. Before, they seemed like random gestures.

Also, watching bouts with really good fencers and adult fencers is darn exciting! The more I understand about the rules (it's all about right of way, baby) the more interesting it is to watch.

Plus, with more fencing knowledge, I see all the ways ARG could be better!. I'm SURE he appreciates my input and suggestions about fencing on the ride home. What 13 year old wouldn't want his mom's feedback about the sport he's been doing for 5 years? I bet he's very grateful.

I am happy there are padded seats here. Tomorrow I will be on bleachers at a tournament. Can you say sore tush?

ARG is fencing in senior tournaments now. It's a whole new world (of whoop a#@%).

Wish I could dance like this guy

2009-09-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

School has really started. Between inspiring and encouraging my kids (imagine the guy who spins a bunch of plates and has to keep them spinning), running the house, helping at church, driving ARG over the hill a billion times a week, I haven't had much time to post.

So, instead of the thoughtful, hilarious, superfun posts I usually write (ha!) I am sharing this video. WARNING: don't watch if you can't stand poking fun at the government.

Man, this guy has all the moves.

health care blues

2009-08-24T20:37:00.001-07:00

This little bit from Beth's blog helped me understand a bit more about why the health care debate is so confusing:

Capitalism

I repeatedly hear that the current health care system is broken, that we "cannot afford the status quo," and then hear the current system referred to as "free market" or "capitalistic." It is not. Our economy is a mixture of free market and government-controlled central planning. I realize many people are finding it harder to afford health insurance and medical care, but in a system where freedom and government control are so intimately and complexly combined, it should be open for debate which aspect of the mixed economy is the cause of rising prices and shrinking affordability.

Health care expenditures in this country are already half public and half (heavily regulated) private. Sound economic arguments exist which explain how it is the public (centrally planned) half which created the "status quo" and why increased privatization (i.e. capitalism) is the the solution.

It seems like this health reform is a done deal to me. Something is going to get through congress in the fall. I'll be surprised if it doesn't.

On NPR today there was an interview with a guy who wrote a book comparing health care systems around the world. His book was premised on the idea that all people have a right to adequate health care (and this was briefly mentioned in the intro, as if - of course! - everyone already agrees to that).

But to me that seems like the biggest issue. DO we have an inherent right to adequate health care? Why? Based on what? And does that right trump the right of others to their own property and the fruit of their labor? Because if I have a fundamental right to health care (or housing, or a job, or food) then someone has got to pay for it. In other words, the government has to forcibly take away money that someone else has earned (violating their rights) to fulfill my rights. Doesn't make sense to me.

Aren't privately run charities way more efficient and effective in helping the needy? What about Catholic Charities? or St. Vincent de Paul?....why couldn't we all be encouraged to donate to private charities?

I get really annoyed when I think about all the things we are going without (fixing the car, paying medical bills on time, family vacation, home repairs...etc.) in order to pay our taxes. It's a bummer.

Bad Libertarian

2009-08-17T20:41:00.000-07:00

I claim to be a Libertarian. One who espouses limited government, individual rights, yada yada.

But if there was an award for the Lamest Libertarian, I'd probably win.

I'm just keeping my head above water with my three kids, puppy, Hubby, house, church, friends, family...etc. I do NOT have time to understand the myriad reasons for opposing Obama's health reform. I know I oppose it. I know, in general, why I oppose it. But can I make a cogent argument why? Can I articulate my position clearly? Um......no.

The other day I got a phone call. It was a machine voice saying, "Please don't hang up, you have been invited to attend a teleconference with representative Eschoo....blah blah blah". So I didn't hang up. And before I knew it, I was listening in to a conversation between my rep. and folks who live nearby. "Next up, is Jim in El Granada!" the moderator said.

I'm thinking....oh dear....is he going to say, "Next up, Sue in Montara!" What will I say? What will I ask? How can I nail this lady? All this going through my head as she is spewing facts and figures at Jim about the uninsured, health care costs.....etc. YIKES! I panicked. I hung up.

Definitely puts me in the running for the Lamest Libertarian award.

I am not happy with the way the government is going. But do I do anything about it? No. Shame on me. I deserve what I get.

But when I read libertarian literature, it always starts with "The Founding Fathers would be appalled..... (at something that we accept as normal today)". That is true. And they would be appalled. But we are not there anymore. We are so FAR from there. And we can't go back. So what? So where do we go? How do we move from a semi-socialist state to free market, limited governemnt that protects individual rights?

I have no bleeping idea.
(feeling pessimistic. i'm good at that)

Lost Girl

2009-08-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am feverishly preparing for school, ballet, fencing tournaments, online courses...etc. I completely disagree with the idea that school should start in August. But since I am cheap, and want the $$$ that I get through our charter school, I have at least make an effort to get things rolling next week.

The good news is that all of the classes, tournaments, curriculum seem to be falling in line. The bad news is my schedule. I look at our weekly schedule with mild panic. ARG has two hours in the morning for math and programming, then he's booked solid most days with classes: history, English and fencing. Rosie, since she will be in the car with me as I chauffeur ARG to his class, has about three hours for her academics. MiniMe....well, I'm just going to have to squeeze her ABC's and 123's wherever I have time. Poor third child.

Speaking of poor third child. She has lost her best friend. Seems like her big sister who up until now has been her primary playmate has disappeared into books. While I am overjoyed, relieved, proud...etc. that Rosie is finally reading up a storm, I am saddened for MiniMe.

"I don't like when Rosie reads," she whined yesterday, "She never plays with me anymore."

She's right. Rosie doesn't do ANYTHING but read anymore. Talking, sleeping, eating... who needs them? She's got Harry Potter, what else could she need in life? I wonder if the passion for reading will continue past HP? Or will she be rereading the series for the rest of her life? Will I still have to (gulp) force her to read other books? I hope not.....

Anyways, ARG's Bday campout is tongiht. Hubby, bless his soul, is taking four boys on an overnight campout in Pescadero. Brave man.

So, aside from ordering airline tix for a Nov. tournament, applying online for ARG's computer course, and figuring out how the heck to tech Rosie about paragraphs, I need to prepare some yummy food for the boys. And get the sleeping bags out. And air out the tent.

And oh yeah, MiniMe threw up this morning and is on the bed watching a movie.

Breathe.

Freaky Friday

2009-08-07T16:37:00.000-07:00

Lucy the dog has been doing remarkably well. She sleeps great. Travels like a charm - not one peep for 8+ hours from San Diego to home. Walks reasonably well. Is about as cute as a button.

It's just that I expect perfection (makes my life so fulfilling as you can imagine).

I vacillate between worrying about "accidents" in the house, and feeling that the worry is worse than the accident. We let her have free run throughout the house now (though we keep bedroom doors shut cause she just can't resist a good garbage can dive, or underwear chew). She has had very few "accidents" in the house, considering she is 5 months old.

However, every accident that has occured in the last month, has occured on a Friday. What is it about Fridays? Rosie thinks it is because we are relaxed. I have no idea what it could mean. Freak coincidence? Somethng in the neighborhood that we are not aware of?

Today as I was getting out of the shower, MiniMe said "Ew! It smells like poop in here." My heart sank. Sure enough, right next to my reading chair, a big plop.

Then, later in the day when I was enjoying a nap in said reading chair, I heard doggie come in the room. I didn't open my eyes and she ran right out again. But when I got up, my first step was into a big wet spot on the rug. Yuck!

It is frustrating for a person who doesn't tolerate mistakes.

But seriously, I wonder when the doggie brain "gets it" that business takes place outside, not inside. And am I doing something wrong that is confusing her?

And what the heck is it about Fridays?

3 Things

2009-07-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

My friend Beth often writes about Three Good Things on her blog (and even FB!)

As my parting shot before hitting the beach in San Diego, I thought I'd do the balanced, Libra thing and think of three good things, and three BAD things. Of course they are not deep and meaningful good and bad things, because that would inevitably offend someone. So, they'll be light and fluffy, but still Good and Bad things none the less (is that one word? nonetheless?)

Good Things:
1. Getting out of a good hot shower, into clean jammies, into a bed with spankin' clean sheets! Aaah...
2. Brownies (with extra chocolate chips) that are still moist and chewy in the middle.
3. Listening to the prattle of my youngest, because I know she is my last little one, and it's the last time one of my children will babble like only five year olds can. Oh, plus kissing her sweet, soft cheek.

Bad Things:
1. Tight jeans / muffin top
2. When your toenail polish smudges after you spent way too much time and energy bent over your toes trying to make them pretty.
3. When your puppy hides under a bed and you have to run all the way downstair, get a treat, and call "Lucy COME!" in a sweet voice when you'd really like to throttle the mutt for disobeying. (Also, when she refuses to go potty because it is wet outside. Hello! We live on the coast! It's wet half the year! Oy)

Ta da.

We're off to San Diego tomorrow. First time with the dog. Should be an interesting drive.

Catch ya on the flip side.

Another Reader!

2009-07-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

Rosie is FINALLY reading!

Hallelujah!

I don't mean simple reading, or Magic Treehouse reading, or even Boxcar Children reading. I mean really reading big long books. Burying her nose and not wanting to come out. Skipping dinner because she is so entranced by the story. Wanting to talk about the book whenever she's not reading it.

What book/s claim the honor of hooking my beloved slow reader?

Chalk one up to old Harry Potter.

She loves the series. She is reading the 4th book now. We've rented the first two movies and she watches and rewatches. ARG insists that the later books are too scary for her to read. I don't know because (gulp) I've never read them.

I know I should. I know most people have read them. I just never got interested. But I might have to preview book 6 or 7 or however long the series goes. I don't know.

I'm just thrilled that my "I like books with pictures and short chapters" daughter is at last experiencing the delight of a good story. Now I need to find another book or series that is comparable to Harry Potter to keep her going. Ideas I have so far are: Redwall and Narnia.

Any other ideas?

More Bragging

2009-07-21T21:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I can't help myself. I'm just so proud!

Even though ARG placed disappointingly at summer nationals (let's just say not in the top 8) he ended up the year ranked 6th nationally in Youth12 Mens' Saber! I keep telling him how wierd it is for me that my son is ranked nationally. Cool. But wierd.

Now we need to figure out how much coin to drop on national tournaments this upcoming year. His peers are going to 3-5 national tournaments. Oy. Kansas City. St. Louis. Miami. Houston. Des Moines. Can you say $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$? (and why do they keep picking these lame cities in the midwest? Miami excepted)

It is safe to say fencers are an elite bunch. In most parts of the world my family would be considered wealthy. But in the fencing world, we are the poor ones who can't afford to go to all the tournaments. Sigh.

Well, it's two weeks off in August and then back into the fencing frying pan. This year ARG is eligible for 5 new fencing categories (Y16, Y18, Div 1, Div 2 & Div 3), so he'll potentially have MORE tournaments.

Help me!

eeeeeewwwwww!

2009-07-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

I love my God. I trust my eternal soul to Him. I rejoice in His amazing creation.

But I have just one complaint (that may crack the very foundation of my faith!):

TICKS

Why, God? Why? Why must we have disgusting little hard shelled, eight legged vermin who dig into our skin, bury their heads inside of us and drink our blood? I just don't get it.

(shiver, shudder)

Thankfully I haven't been bitten yet (touch wood). But Lucy has had three in the last week. Luckily the first one was found by my friend, who skillfully removed it. So, now I know how to get them out. It's a lovely experience grabbing them with tweezers and pulling them out while their legs scramble to get back in. And using all your arm strength to kill them, and having to stand up and use all your upper body weight to do it because they are so hard!

Last night, after sitting on our laps for at least an hour (ew!) Lucy scratched one off onto Rosie. Screams ensued. Safety Man issued a new decree - no more dog on the laps. Sniff. That's what we got her for.....but I don't really want ticks crawling around me or my couch (or my children).

This morning Lucy presented MiniMe with a dead baby mouse or mole. Being five, MiniMe accepted the gift and brought it in to show ARG. Thankfully he had the good sense to chuck the thing way out into the bushes. Lots of handwashing! Lots of soap!

Lucy is a good dog. Really. But, eeeeeewwwwwww!

I Claudius

2009-07-15T21:42:00.000-07:00

I am watching at old PBS miniseries called I Claudius. It's about Rome during and after the reign of Augustus (1st emporer). Oh the intrigues, betrayals and violence of the imperial family! They were one bunch of egomaniacal looneys. (at least in the show, I suppose I need to read a real history of the time to find out what really happened).

But I thought watching a historical miniseries with the (older) kids would be educational. But the issues that are explored in the show are too much! Can you say "inappropriate"? Murder (that's the least of it), suicide, incest, adultery, prostitution, infanticide, patricide,....yech!

I had to skip the episodes on Caligula because that dude was sicko! I don't feel like explaining to Rosie some of the stuff he did. It's too much!

So I thought I'd watch a nice PG movie about the story of Esther (from the bible) with all the kids. Bad idea. As simplistic as it was, I realized that MiniMe was probably not ready for stories involving eunuchs, guys being hanged, and a king who spends one night with hundreds of beautiful virgins. She kept asking, "Is that a good guy or a bad guy?" and "Is he on the good team? or the bad team?" Ambiguous characters she can not fathom.

It made me remember that she is at the age where one of the most pressing issues is good and bad. She is driven to try understand what is good and what is bad. She needs to be watching Veggie Tales and Shirley Temple movies. Any more sophistication is confusing to her.

Sigh. It is very challenging to find movies that will entertain and be appropriate for a 5, 9 and 12 year old (not to mention me!). I can't make MiniMe go to bed at 7pm forever. Nor shuffle her off to the other room to watch a movie by herself.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, here I come. Again. Sigh.

Any other great ideas?

Democracy a la Lewis

2009-07-05T20:23:00.000-07:00

I am finishing up the Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis.

Wow.

There were several times whilst reading that I gulped, and felt very convicted of some bad habits, thoughts and beliefs I've had. It's a powerful book, wielding the almighty weapon of mockery. Lewis employs the voice of a senior demon (Screwtape) advising and admonishing a junior tempter (Wormwood) in his quest to capture a human soul.

The piece of advice I found most intriguing, considering my political studies, the state of the world, and the year this book was published (1942), was Lewis's, I mean Screwtape's, counsel to future tempters:

"Democracy is the word with which you must lead them by the nose. The good work which our philological experts have already done in the corruption of human language makes it unnecessary to warn you that they should never be allowed to give this word a clear and definable meaning. They won't. It will never occur to them that Democracy is properly the name of a political system, even a system of voting, and that this has only the most remote and tenuous connection with what you are trying to sell them...

You are to use the word purely as an incantation; if you like, purely for its selling power. It is a name they venerate. And of course it is connected with the political ideal that men should be equally treated. You then make a stealthy transition in their minds from this political ideal to a factual belief that all men are equal."

It was refreshing to read a Christian author who forewarned what has come to pass (how many people really understand the meaning of democracy?) I hear politicians (all presidents included) and the media consistently bandying about the term Democracy in a way that makes no sense.

I've often wondered if the term itself has effectively changed away from meaning a system of government wherein the power is distributed as widely as possible so that the majority rules.

But what does it mean now? Just getting to vote?

Fun on the 4th

2009-07-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

Independence Day, 2009.

We headed down to the farmers market this morning and managed to get a pound of english peas and about 6 pluots and plums for $3. Pretty good, huh? I think the fruit guy likes my girls.

Then my girls begged and dragged me to the Half Moon Bay 4th of July parade. Woopee! We sat on the street curb in the sun and watched lots of fire trucks, plain ole trucks, cars, horses, people on horses, and plain ole people parade along Main St. It is everything you would think a small town parade would be.

The Mexican dancing horses were way cool. There were about five or six guys gussied up with fancy spanish rancher outfits (or whatever they are) on horses. Right behind them was a walking Mexican marching band (not mariachi, and no costumes). Whenever the band busted out into song, the horses would trot around in tight circles, or weave back and forth, back and forth. I enjoyed it.

I discovered the real reason my Rosie so desperately wanted to go to the parade: CANDY. I keep forgetting that in a nine year old mind, candy still ranks up there with....well, candy is probably still at the top of her list. And she was indulged to the max today. Every group that marched by threw pounds of candy out to the crowd. My girls went crazy scavenging sweets of the street. I had to have a "talk" with them about not grabbing everything they could reach, because a sweet little toddler next to us just couldn't compete.

On the way home I told the girls they could only have one piece of candy and the rest was going to church. MiniMe retorted, "Then your a mean Mom". Yep. That's me. My MiniMe (shudders) is a tough one.

Hubby told me last night I should go to the parade. "How many times will you get to go with young kids?" He makes sense. Though I don't particularly relish it now, I suppose I'll miss it when my kids are old and not interested.

Tonight we're off the church for another "parade" of decorated scooters and bikes. Oh the excitement is killing me! My girls' bikes are mildly decorated with ribbons and heart stickers. I'm not holding out hope for first prize.

The only thing I'm wondering, should I decorate the dog?

Out of sorts

2009-07-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

When Hubby is out of town, I am out of sorts. I get a tad anxious. I don't know why. Seems like he is a stabilizing or normalizing force in my world which I appreciate, but miss when it's gone.

The boys are off to Dallas for Summer Nationals. They had major mishaps getting there (flights cancelled, new routes, new stops...etc.). They were not able to get to the venue in time to purchase the equipment ARG needs for his event tomorrow. Oh, by the way, the event starts at 8:00am. And the vendors get there.....I'm praying they open at 7:00am. After they buy it they have to get the gear approved. And be ready to fence at 8:00am. Dallas time. 6am CA time. I'm trying to ignore the low grade anxiety I feel for ARG and his fencing.

Then, this afternoon I send Rosie out for a walk with Lucy (who was a naughty, naughty dog today). Usually she walks around the block and comes back in 15 minutes. After 40 minutes I started getting nervous. I called for her outside. Nothing. I decided to get in the car with MiniMe and drive around the neighborhood looking for her. Nada. I ran back into the house hollering for her. Not there.

I think all moms (and perhaps all parents, though I don't know about dads) know the sinking, panicky feeling when you can't find your kid. It is one of the worst feelings in the world.

I headed out again and drove a wider loop. After a few minutes I found her. RELIEF! A little cry. And a commitment to making agreements with Rosie about how long and far she should walk.

Now we're all locked and double locked up and settling down to watch a movie.

I miss Hubby.

Candide

2009-06-29T08:32:00.001-07:00

OK - onto the next contestant for ARG's high school reading list. I'm picking the short ones right now.

Candide is a book one can read in a day. It's a fanciful story of an innocent youth losing his innocence through exposure to a corrupt, ugly, deceitful, disloyal world. Voltaire. Sounds impressive, "the embodiment of the eighteenth-century Enlightenment" and all that.

It was slightly entertaining. Slightly comical. A few good jabs at the hubris of aristocracy, corruption of men in power, and the Inquisition. The gist of it was (at least I think) that the world is not a pretty place, and the best way to deal with it is to work hard (farming especially) and try to be happy.

OK. I can deal with that.

The plot is fantastical. The characters shallow. The satire, pretty funny. It must've been especially biting when it was written.

Since it's so short, I think it's worth a read.

Cuckoo

2009-06-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

I loved reading in high school. Some of my favorite books then are still in my top ten: Gone With The Wind, 1984, Watership Down. I have forgotten most of the books that were assigned reading (1984 is the exception). Does that mean those books weren't as good? Or did I dislike dissecting them so much that I blanked them out of my mind?

I've been thinking about high school reading for ARG. Looking at lists and considering what he should read. Another question is whether I will make him write about what he reads. I thought I would, at first. But I just read an article in the NYTimes about how kids end up hating the classics because they are forced to write inane essays about themes, metaphors, writing styles...etc. So the jury is out on the writing for me.

But I am positive I want to encourage (if not insist) that he read a certain set of books. I also know that if I want him to get anything from them, I'll need to discuss them with him (unless a brilliant high school book club falls in our laps magically).

So, I've started checking books out from the library. I'll never make it through them all before they are due (I always check out too many!), but I have started. I picked an easy one to start: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Who can forget Jack Nickelson in the movie? I remembered liking the book in high school.

I was not prepared for what a page turner it is! I couldn't put it down. Kesey tells a fine tale that wraps you up and holds you and then doesn't really let you go at the end. Some of the things that I would want to discuss are:

- Why did he do it? Why did MacMurphy decide to continue his war against nurse Ratchett when he knew where it would lead? Was he some sort of sacrificial lamb? To show the guys that it was possible to defy her? Kesey never explains why MacMurphy changes his tune from self interested gambler to heroic leader. At least I didn't catch it.

- What exactly does MacMurphy represent? Freedom? And nurse Ratchett? Institutionalism?

- How does Kesey manage to rope us in so completely? How does he make us care about a bunch of loons, a renegade and a control freak?

- I wonder what happens to Chief after the story ends.....

Those are the kinds of things I'd like to discuss. Maybe I'll look up some literary sites and see if there are other "important" questions that we need to discuss.

Bragging Moment

2009-06-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

For all of the garbage and nonsense I put up with being a mom, I think I get the right to brag and take pride in my kids when they do something awesome. It's like a payment for all that hard work and sacrifice. (prepare for braggage)

My son is ranked 4th IN THE NATION !!! in his age group for mens' saber!!!

How awesome is that? Who would've thunk I'd have a kid ranked anything anywhere? Not me.

The rankings are based on rolling points (I dare you to try to figure out how points are awarded, I sure haven't yet). I only know points are awarded at national tournaments. So you want to go to a lot of nationals, and/or do really well when you do go. ARG has been to a few, but many have been to a lot more. It's a money thing.

Anyways, I think it is way cool. And I want to brag. I'm a proud mama.

Summer nationals are next week. I don't care how ARG fences, he ROCKS the fencing world in my book.

Poopy Tales

2009-06-24T15:02:00.001-07:00

There has got to be some unwritten universal law about (my) dog's poops.

I can walk little Lucy for an hour and see a handful of cars in our neighborhood. But when she decides it's time to do the dirty deed? Always. ALWAYS. A car drives by right then.

I'm standing there pretending nothing is happening, "Heh, heh...."
(Yes! I carry a plastic bag)

Today she decided to go in front of someone's house (where I live there are no sidewalks and lots of grassy/weedy spaces). Can you guess what happened. The OWNER of the house pulled up right as she is plopping. I mean, what are the odds?

Then there are all the lovely times when Lucy decides pooping in the middle of the street is the thing to do. Ah yes, I'm the proud owner..... (cringe).

I don't even have the energy to get into how much Lucy barks. Let's just say my pride has taken a hit recently. I used to mock them. Now I OWN one. Sadly, Lucy can be qualified as a yap dog.

Poor Neglected Blog

2009-06-20T18:53:00.001-07:00

Isn't it summer?

Isn't it the season when I'm supposed to have all kinds of spare time to mess around with my blog? Guess this summer is different.

At this moment my menfolk are in the dining room with assorted other teens, preteens and fathers playing Texas Hold'em.Thankfully, I don't have to play. I am happily overindulging in Reese's Pieces and writing this.

Today was MiniMe's 5th Bday party. Wow. I forgot how hard it is to have 10 5-8 year olds in your house for three hours. Plus, MiniMe is coming down with a cold (great timing). She didn't want to do half the activities I had planned. Or if she did, she bailed on them way before I was ready. Then, I forgot that kids this age sometimes don't want to participate. "I'm not gonna do that!" Swell....lovely.....super.

I busted my behind getting this shindig together, and you don't want to do it? Fine.

They laughed and screamed and played and ate. And then at the end I asked MiniMe how she liked her cake. "Not very much..."

Okaaaaay. Breath. Don't cry. Don't take it personal. Breath.

Now the boys are playing poker. MiniMe is sick and asking for me to read a book. Rosie is watching a movie, wishing she could play poker with the big kids. Lucy the dog is barking annoyingly. How do you stop dogs from barking unless you follow them around with a spray bottle.

Oh, did I mention I had a glass of wine?

MiniMe's eye is dripipng. She is begging. I've got to go......

One more post about NYC

2009-06-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

It will probably be the last for a while. But I wanted to share these two pics that are only compromising to myself. Oh there are other pics..... but I won't go there.

Here's me with Lady Liberty:

And don't ask how this picture was taken, I don't recall. But we were walking to find a dance club and I guess we were near Times Square. Woo hoo! (another up the nostril shot!)

Weird

2009-06-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wake up and have weird thoughts?

I'm convinced that hormones are involved in my case. I woke up today and thought, "Life is dull. Nothing is fun. I won't enjoy my day."

Well, Good Mornin' to Ya!

Heck of a way to wake up, huh? Those thoughts are so not me. I am just not like that (usually). I've had one (well, maybe two) other times in my life when I had dark thoughts, and they were both about 3 months postpartum. One time I actually thought, "Why should I live?" and immediately was like "Wut???? I don't even feel that way! That thought does not belong to me." Thankfully it was so foreign, that I recognized it as so and blew it off. But there were some uncomfortable months when the kids were babies.

Because of other physical signs, I know I am at a certain time (you gals know what I mean). I fully attribute lame-o thoughts like the ones I had this morning to hormones. What is up with that? Why were we women made to have these crazy hormonal fluctuations? Were we just meant to keep having babies until 45? No way.

Sometimes I am a rebellious believer. I get a little annoyed with God for certain things. Like hormones. And lame-o thoughts that I have to endure. It's really a pain in my head.

Luckily I have a healthy enough mindset to immediately want to overcome. I start thinking about how I can make today special and fun. I realize I haven't had reading/cuddle time with the kids on the couch for a long time. Need to find a good book. And read.

Perhaps some ice cream......... the remedy to all ills.

Does that man ever shut up?

2009-06-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

The elevators in the NY Hilton have TV screens in them. The executive lounge has big screen TVs. And let me tell you, 9 out of 10 times we rode the elevator or went into the lounge, Mr Hope himself was talking.

That's right, President Obama has a lot to say. And he says it. All the time. Yack. Yack. Yack. I couldn't believe how many times I saw that man's face on a screen that week.

Now that I've been home I've gotten a reprieve (remember, we don't have cable). But, I swear, that many never stops! I hear about him on the radio in the car. This speech. That speech. This address. That rant. Oh, sorry.

Honestly, I don't listen to carefully to what he says. I'm pretty sure that I don't like most of it. Though I do approve of his call to the Palestinians to turn away from violence as a tool for legitimacy. And now and then I appreciate an articulate president.

But mostly I wonder at the amount of air time that guy receives. Are we seeing a cult of Obama? I mean, I remember the heady early days of Clinton's presidency. But it was nothing like this.

But I can be sure each time I plop my behind behind the wheel and turn on NPR, I'll be sure to get the latest update on what Mr. Hope is saying today.

Post NY

2009-05-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

I am in high demand. Going away for a five days made that pretty clear. People need me around here. It's good. That's the way it is supposed to be. But it can be intense.

Being "just Sue" for my trip to New York was such a break. It's like deep subconscious stuff. Just taking care of myself (time to curl my hair!) is so foreign to me now, but so refreshing.

I am still recovering. On Wednesday I came down with a mild cold, which is mostly making me sneezy, headachy and tired. I'm sure I was run down from getting so little sleep. I need a weekend to sleep, sleep, sleep.

Will I get it? You can probably guess....

This weekend is the Big Ballet Extravaganza for the girls! A show each day! Rehearsal Friday night! Rehearsal Saturday morning! Me slaving away volunteering both days!

As an added bonus for my non-sleeping pleasure I get to work at church on Sunday - both services! Woo hoo! And Rosie (read: me) has to bake cupcakes for the ballet bake sale. And to top it all off, ARG has an academic awards ceremony to attend on Sunday.

I'll be at the show with Rosie. Hubby will be at the ceremony with MiniMe and ARG.

We'll be divided.

But not conquered.

Pass me that espresso.

NYC the Sequel

2009-05-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

Are we gorgeous or what?

Thats me on the top left with assorted sisters and mothers in law at the fanciest french restaurant ever. It was our big dress up night.

New York was.....
it was.....
surreal. fun. exhausting. noisy. intimate. yummy.

It was like the ironman of shopping, eating and fun. We had to power-rest every evening for about 45 minutes to be ready for our Big Nights Out. And I'm telling you - every night was a Big Night Out.

There was the night dancing in a dive full of sailors (oops - we went to NYC during Fleet Week). Another night found me drinking the best darn margarita I've ever tasted. It has little wild strawberries that had been soaked in some italian liqueur. Mmmmm. Slumber parties in the hotel room with fashion shows, dancing and leg admiring. Eating tapas and sangria at a Spanish restaurant with an old friend of the family. Dancing at a Bollywood disco. (as the old friend said, "I figured with those two words together, Bollywood and disco, it couldn't be bad!")

As before, the days were filled mostly with shopping. I managed to find some pretty awesome things with out damaging my wallet too badly. But there were other highlights too.

We took a boat trip of the harbor out to the Statue of Liberty. It was so lovely to just sit on that boat with the wind in our hair and watch the New York skyline whiz by. When we got to the statue, the boat literally tilted to one side, the side with everyone on it taking pictures of Lady Liberty. I hung back, waiting for it to thin out. But when I stepped out to see her I burst into tears. I was totally unprepared for the emotions that gripped me. Reverence. Pride. Loyalty. Appreciation. Gratitude. To live in the greatest country in the world. A country made up of people from all over the world. A country that gets stronger and more vibrant thanks to it's diversity of people. I loved that boat ride.

I loved, loved, loved dancing in the Bollywood disco. It was in a basement, very dark and full of Indians. There were maybe ten white folks. But the coolest thing about it was the dancing. People were there for the beats and the dancing. No meat market. No picking up. Nothing like that. Just boogeying to killer Indian grooves. I love Indian grooves. And they had surreal Bollywood movies flashing on the walls. It was sweet. Our friend said, "You didn't know I was going to whisk you away to a foreign country did you?" It felt like a foreign country.

Getting kicked out of a sheik Japanese bar was curious. Well, we didn't really get kicked out because we were never seated or served. "No room" the hostess said, when there clearly was enough room. But apparently we weren't .... Asian enough. We were whities. It was a racist bar. Only Asians allowed. If only we had known, we would have sent the one Asian member of our group in alone to secure our table. But she was in the bathroom when it all went down. Ce la vie.

Eating the best street food in NYC was cool too. Lamb over rice with pita bread. Aaahhh.

There were lame moments too, but they're not my story to tell. I'll just say food poisoning is super-lame. Or as Orwell would put it doubleplusbad.

A trip like this changes you. My sisters in law and mother in law and I deepened our love and enjoyment of each other. We experienced new, funny, strange, interesting things together. We shared meals and we shared our stories. We got to know each other better than ever. That's worth more than anything. Sisters rule.

I may think of more to write about later. It's all pretty fresh tonight, so I wanted to get it down before my brain gets overloaded with kiddie,family,home things. As I kneeled in front of my freezer today cleaning up spilled homemade popsicle juice I thought, "Was I really in New York just yesterday?"

It almost seems like a dream.

I'm off

2009-05-18T15:22:00.001-07:00

I don't know if I'll have time to post again before.....drum roll please....

N! Y! C!

Woo hoo! I made it! I made it! (I know, way to many exclamation points)

Things are hairy around here. MiniMe is sick with a gnarly cough. Rosie threw up in the Trader Joe's parking lot today. Nice. (strawberries and cream, if you were wondering). ARG is fine and I told him he'd be in big trouble if he gets sick too.

I am half packed. I am having a hard time focusing on home-life this last day and a half!

I'll post on the flip side!

I am a Toad

2009-05-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

What did you call your parents when you were a kid?

We called ours "the Toads". I'm not sure where that catchy name came from, but it somehow described them to a tee. They were un-cool. They were strict. They didn't have a clue. They were toads.

Well, last night was my initiation into toad-hood. ARG has a friend who was competing in the "Battle of the High School Bands" at Half Moon Bay HS. He really wanted to go, so he and a fencing buddy went. Alone. No parental units supervising. They met up with a bunch of other fencers (some of their parents were there) and had a great time.

At the prearranged time I pulled up outside the high school gym to pick them up. As I sat, like a dork, in my car waiting for them to come out, I reflected on how life changes quickly. Seems like a few minutes ago I was the one going to concerts.

When ten minutes went by and still no boys, I got out and went searching. Boy did I feel parental. I mean, I was tired. I wanted to go home. I peeked into the gym only to see hundreds of screaming high school kids rocking out to a live band on stage. It was all dark. There was no way to find ARG. I stood in the back, helpless.

Called Hubby. Called the other boy's cell. Both kids had turned their phones off. Convenient. Hubby suggested texting. Duh. I don't even know how to text. I have never needed to do it. I am so lame.

A few minutes later they came out happy, wishing they could stay longer, but knowing it was time to go.

I think the hardest thing about being a toad is that it is humbling. I'm not center stage anymore. Not by a long stretch. It's all about the kid. I'm just the support team. The stage crew, as it were.

I just hope I can be a modestly cool toad. I don't need to be one of those super funny, popular parents. But it would be really nice if my kid's friends liked and respected me. Just a little.

Where's My Medal?

2009-05-09T20:05:00.001-07:00

I made it though another of ARG's fencing tournaments today. I'm feeling pretty confident that I didn't make a fool of myself. I should get the medal.

ARG did great. Got 2nd place in Y14 (he's 12) with fencers from all over northern CA. He rocks. But his last three direct elimination bouts were nail biters! Even though I wasn't neurotically nervous, I still lose self-awareness during the fencing. When a point is scored, I often "come to" with my legs bent, arms and hands clenched, heart beating furiously. I also became aware that every time a point is scored against ARG, I let out loud groans. "Ach", "Oooh", "Uhhh". Seriously had to tell myself to SHUT UP several times today.

And even though I think fencing is the wierdest, least predictable sport on earth, I really love the fencers and their families. Everyone is so friendly and the sportsmanship is high. Fencers congratulate each other. Parents too. ARG and the gold winner are friends, and they hugged when the bout was over. Awwwww.

One freaky moment: in the quarter-finals, ARG bent his blade at a 45 degree angle on his opponents face mask. Phew. I'm glad those masks are strong.

More Lucy

2009-05-07T17:12:00.001-07:00

We're really in the puppy trenches now.

Turns out our adorable, sweet and cuddly pup is playing host to a variety of guests.

Giardia.
Round Worms.
Parasites.
Heavy, heavy sigh.
Diarrhea, trips to the vet ($$$), prescription medicine, diarrhea, bloated tummy, diarrhea. Did I mention diarrhea? Sure makes potty training a challenge.

The good news for the day is that we have to build Lucy a pooping place filled with gravel so we can scoop up the poop each day (lest she reinfect by stepping in it). Yay! $$$!

Poor Lucy. For a sick dog she is pretty happy. But my the skin on my hands is about to peel off from washing so much. And every time she licks one of the kids I freak out.

Ya know? I did NOT sign up for this. (at least I didn't think I was signing up for it)

And let me just say here that I WAY overestimated the enthusiasm/ability/desire of Rosie to be Lucy's main caregiver. Somehow taking a reluctant pup to the potty in the rain just doesn't do it for her! Go figure.

Now don't get me wrong. I still love cuddling with her on my lap. And she is a very good dog.

But. Ew!

Sigh

2009-05-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

Don't laugh at me. Don't mock me. Pity me.

Raising a puppy is HARD!

Yes, I knew it would be hard work before we got her. Less sleep, accidents...etc. I didn't have blinders on or anything. But man, am I tired. How I long for one puppy-free day.

Because aside from being cute and cuddly, puppies basically need constant training and pack-order lessons. And she is smart - knows sit and we're working on stay and leave-it. But she keeps trying to be dominant, and we have to constantly show her who is boss. I especially have to be watchful when MiniMe is handling her..."ooooh pick up her hind legs!"

The learning curve has been steep this week. I've read about 5 puppy training books. But, like people, puppies are individuals, and don't conform to every rule espoused for their training. For instance, one book claims that all you have to do is get your puppy to love her chew toys and you'll be set. Well, Lucy is not food motivated. She'll chew, sure. But only for a few minutes. Not incessantly for hours like "normal" dogs.

The part I like best about having her is when she lays all over us on the couch while we watch our family movie. It is very cuddly and sweet.

The part I dislike the most is potty training. Poop and peep on my floors are the worst. Especially because once dogs start doing it, they keep doing it. I'm busting my behind trying to train her to love going outside. But she is freaked by all the bleeping rain. Always wants to come back in. Sigh.

Good news though, she's getting her second round of shots tomorrow which means she can "socialize" with other dogs and go for walks now. Loooong walks. Walks that will wear her out (please God).

And we are signed up for a puppy obedience class starting Friday. Rosie will be doing it with her. That should be fun for both of them.

So I'm looking forward to good times. But hoping I have enough stamina to make it though her puppyhood.

The New Normal

2009-05-03T07:16:00.001-07:00

The benefit of having to get up at 6am to take Lucy out and then play, play, play, is that at 7am I can crate her and have alone time on the computer. No kids up yet. We have pretty much commanded ARG to sleep in whenever possible, as he stays up way too late fencing most nights. And the girls are super tired from their cousin's birthday extravaganza (and swim meet for Rosie) yesterday. It has been a busy weekend.

My brain is a little too fuzzy to write much, but here are some cute pics of the lowest member of our pack:

Lucy is here!

2009-04-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

Puggle-extraordinaire is the 6th member of our family as of Saturday. She is tiny! She only wants to be held. She cried a lot last night. Not that into sleeping on her own.

As predicted, I am already sleep deprived. Oy.

Girls are contastantly fighting over who gets to hold her. Lucy has a hard time sleeping in MiniMe's lap, because MiniMe is four, and not capable of sitting still for more than thirty seconds. But Lucy loves Rosie's lap. Rosie who would hold her all day and night if I let her.

It is wierd having a new being in the home. Especially since Hubby and ARG are in Portland for a national tournament (top 16 in Under14 Saber! Go ARG!) But I miss them, and don't feel right when they aren't here.

Miss Lucy gets more adventurous and cute with each passing our. But, Ugh! that puppy breath.

Puggle Time

2009-04-24T18:06:00.001-07:00

If I haven't been diligently posting to my blog this week, it's because I've been crazily preparing for little puppy puggle who is coming tomorrow! (jumping up and down clapping)

Awwwwww. What else can you say?

I've negotiated with the breeder. Trips to PetSmartCoMart have been made. I've spent way too much coin on puppy paraphernalia. Friends have been hit up for spare puppy gates.

We've watched puppy training DVDs. We've read books on crate training. I think we are about as prepared as we can be for the whirlwind that this little darling will be in our lives.

The girls are over the top and can't hardly wait until tomorrow. Soon they will be in little girl heaven. All that will be missing is the rainbow glitter unicorn.

Tonight is my last full night's sleep for a few months. I intend to enjoy it fully.

A Wonderful Day

2009-04-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

There are few days that I truly consider wonderful. Today was one of them

No, nothing earth shattering. Nothing stupendous. Just a lot of really cool, common things happened today.

First of all, I got to sleep in. And for an added bonus, when I got up, I was the only one up. No kids. No hubby. The house to myself for an hour! Sweet. (and very unusual) I got some quality high school / homeschool research under my belt.

Then, I got to go for a beautiful walk with my bestest and oldest friend. It was especially valuable because she may be moving away soon, and we may not get to walk together for a long time. The spring breeze was cool on our cheeks, the sun warm on our faces. The hills were green and smelling fresh.

The afternoon was filled with gardening. After hitting the hardware store for supplies, MiniMe and I spent some time in the back yard planting seeds in the boxes. For something new, I am trying to grow a tomato plant this year. "San Francisco Fog" it's called. We'll see. We don't get too much sun here. And since I felt daring, I bought a wee basil plant to try. Who knows, maybe I won't kill this one.

There is something extremely gratifying about watching your kid work. I'm serious! ARG mowed, weed whacked, and did general grunt work for Hubby and me all afternoon. Rosie made pizza dough (for our signature barbecue breadsticks) all by herself. And after four months, Hubby completed his bea-u-ti-ful table for our gigantic TV to sit on. Isn't it great?

Late afternoon saw me preparing many yummies for an early dinner: mashed potatoes, bean salad w/ artichoke hearts, baked beans, bread sticks, marinades for pork and chicken. Hubby fired up the Q and we had a nice time sipping wine, grilling yummies and joshing with the kids.

Now, I am contentedly writing this post, looking forward to a good movie: The Americanization of Emily. At least I hope it is good.

It was a sweet day. And I'm so grateful for it.

Babysitting

2009-04-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

Last night I babysat a little boy from our church. We'll call him Action. He is almost one, and therefore exceedingly cute.

MiniMe was beside herself. And she was all over him. Giving him toys, patting his head, trying to pick him up, and generally being a nuisance (albeit a sweet one). Rosie helped hold him when I had to go to the bathroom, and played with him as well.

It was quite the stroll down memory lane. You really do forget what it is like, managing a little person who is completely dependent upon you. Feeding, changing, playing, just staying in his visual range so he won't cry. I'm a pretty old hand it all that, so it's not too hard for me. It's fun to play peek-a-boo once in a while.

The highlights? Getting Action to smile by overreacting to his "kicks". Noticing that he was mostly interested in watching ARG and Hubby (those deep voices, I guess). Watching him go head over teakettle as he crawled up his unstable car seat. Oops. Having him fall asleep on my lap. Awwwwww.

But the part about babies that I don't miss? The tiptoeing around after they are asleep. "Shhhhh! Don't wake the baby!" Maybe most people don't share this neurosis, but I had (and have, apparently) an unusual fear of waking a sleeping baby. It has to do with the fact that I was always going to be the one that had to get up, feed and soothe, at ungodly hours. But it was strange that I felt the same way last night.

And have you noticed how, when you are trying to be quiet, you inevitably bump into every chair, drop or bonk things noisily, trip over toys...etc?

It was good to realize the freedom we have now to be ourselves at night, after the kids are upstairs. If they get up? We just send 'em back. Easy. We can go to sleep when we want, because we wake up when we want (by we, I mean me, as Hubby has to get up early 5 days/week). Plenty of sleep. No worries of sleep deprivation.

But all that may be changing soon. No, I'm not pregnant. It looks like we'll be getting a puppy. Either in the next few weeks or over the summer, we'll have a new member of the family. One who will require someone to get up with her in the night for potty breaks the first six months. Wha? Oh no.

Sleep deprivation here I come.

A series of links

2009-04-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

Can this be true? Where is the outrage?

A very small number of taxpayers -- the 10% of the country that makes more than $92,400 a year -- pay 72.4% of the nation's income taxes.

A funny, but sad song about where we are as a country.

My Main Man, Ron Paul's latest outrageous legislation: The Case Against Income Tax.

Cool art blending virtual reality with "real" reality (courtesy ARG).

That's it!

Why I love him

2009-04-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our 18 year anniversary. I can't really believe I'm saying that. How old am I anyways? Yikes. Only old farts have had that many anniversaries.

We didn't get to celebrate too much. Partly because I forgot. Until two days before. Now if you know anything about me, you'll know I'm a planner. I get plans in place months in advance. I think. I ponder. I fantasize. I plan to my heart's content - but way before the actual event.

So when I scared my kids by exclaiming in dire tones "Oh my GOSH!" as we were falling asleep in the hotel (in Placerville for a fencing camp) on Saturday, it was way too late to start planning. Two days is not enough time for me to pull something together, especially when one of those days must be spent watching ARG fence.

Plus, our anniversary fell on a Monday. Blah.

But this morning as I admired the beautiful roses he brought me, I thought about some of the reasons I love him. Oh, I probably wrote the same post a year ago. But I'm too lazy and pushed for time to check.

So at the risk of repeating myself and boring all 7 of you, here goes:

Things I love about Hubby:

- he sings when he is happy
- when he is really happy, he RAPS!
- he still rides a sk8board
- he has the most integrity of anyone I know (though he CAN tell a real stretcher of a story)
- he gets up at 5:30am every morning to slog to work and provide for us
- he fixes my computer when it acts up
- he goes with out needed new clothes for months so ARG can keep fencing during lean times
- he takes ARG to tournaments so I don't have to (Whew!)
- he mows the lawn
- he let's me go to NYC (Yipeee!)
- he creates amazingly beautiful pieces of wood furniture
- he always supports me in my personal growth
- he makes time with each kid a priority in his life
- he loves all my cooking
- he doesn't forget anniversaries (unlike some people)
- he did the dishes last night (and the crowd goes wild!)
- he loves his crazy, forgetful wife!

FB

2009-04-05T19:18:00.000-07:00

I've realized something about FB: only kids post interesting things everyday. Most of the adults just take endless "What B Actor are you most like?" tests and post the results. They infinitely poke each other, send easter eggs and vote for favorite dogs. Or they post, like, once a week (or less).

I include myself in the not posting a lot, adult group. Though I do try to do it every so often. It's hard to get to it sometimes. And sometimes I just don't have anything worthwhile to say. And the one time I took one of those dumb quizes; "What LOTR character are you most like?", guess who I was? GOLLUM! Wuh? Me? Gollum? Oh yeah, like I'm really going to share that quiz's results with the world. Hmph.

I definitely need to get more kids on my list. They find the darndest things! ARG posts all kinds of wierd links to videos and images and scary political exposés. Other kids say lots of silly (and amusing) things.

But the adults? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................

Bird Brain

2009-04-01T12:42:00.000-07:00

Birds must be pretty dumb.

Or maybe just swallows.

Or whatever kind of bird that KEEPS TRYING TO KILL ITSELF against my front window!

Every morning this little fella bonks himself (herself? how does one know?) against the windows on the front of our house. He does it over and over again. First he flies to the railing on our little deck. Then he inspects the windows for a minute or so. And then he proceeds to fly right into the window - whack! He'll land on the railing again, and repeat the process. Over and over. And over.

Of course all that work gets the bodily functions flowing, and my railing and deck are now covered with bird poop. Yick.

He's been at it for a week now. As soon as the sun is up, he's there. He stops around 10am. He was quite a distraction to last week's bible study. "Paul was writing to the Hebrews in Jerusalem because..." WHACK! "He's trying to prepare them for...." BONK!

I've heard varying opinions about why this bird brain is attacking himself in our window:
- hallucinagenic berries
- thinking his own reflection is a potential mate
- an irresistible desire to learn probability and Latin word roots

It is pretty strange to be doing school with the kids, when every few minutes: THUMP! BONK! THWACK!

We've tried running outside and shooing him away. He just comes back. One day I closed the sliding glass door on a towel, hoping its fluttering might scare it off. Nope.

I've decided to try a variation of my cousin's suggestion (to buy a fake owl and perch it on the railing). Instead I have created the very ominous and intimidating construction paper owl/hawk/some sort of bird that might have talons:

Wouldn't you be scared?

I'll keep you posted.

More on Homeschooling

2009-03-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

I am in homeschool/highschool land.

Join me.

A few people asked which online Math program I referred to in a previous post. It's called Aleks Math and I can recommend it pretty highly. Students only need to repeat lessons when they get wrong answers. Their progress is assessed from time to time. Any questions that are missed on the assessment lead to a re-learning of that particular lesson. My kids like it because they get to choose which topics to work on each day, so they feel they are in control. It allows them to move quite rapidly through the curriculum. As fast as they go, I do feel that that a bit more review would be good. I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate that (but haven't yet). For example, ARG is in HS Geometry and can't remember how to do long division because he hasn't had to for a few years.

Another gem I can plug with no qualms is History at Our House - a supreme distance learning history program. It is lecture based, via phone conference calls, with images, maps...etc. online. Assignments are emailed. ARG has learned more about ancient history (and why it matters now) in six months of his junior high class than I ever did in college. And I was a history major! The lectures are lively and Mr. Powell is respectful but demanding on his students.

Options we are considering for next year are Stanford EPGY, Johns Hopkins CTY and/or College of San Mateo for science and English (and probably spanish).

I know - more than you really wanted to know. But I need to get my thoughts out somewhere!

Thoughts on the times...

2009-03-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

Saw this article today, and thought to myself, "Hey! this is good."

I know I am a crazy libertarian. But I keep seeing signs that the erosion of our liberty is speeding up every year. Sometimes I feel scared.

To think that the cops in any state would be on the lookout for domestic terrorists, having the profile of a Ron Paul supporter, or (gasp!) a believer in the Constitution chills me to the bones. That is me folks.

When I see all that is going on with the financial bail out, I just see government getting bigger and more powerful. Not that I have the slightest of how to solve our collective economic problems. If I had read and studied more I could possibly advocate some position. And maybe I've been brainwashed enough that the idea of doing nothing, and letting the market adjust on it's own just seems too radical to me. That's what a true libertarian would want though.

From a historical perspective, the only conclusion I can draw from what I see around me is that we are headed ultimately for:
- empire / dictatorship
- aristocratic (big business) rule
- pure democracy (which our country is NOT at present, by the way)

None of these options is good for individual rights. Which to me seem like the best standard by which to evaluate the powers of a government. Are rights violated? That's bad. Are they protected? That's good.

What rights exactly need to be protected? A summarized list:

freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, petition the govt., bear arms, privacy, due process of the law, just compensation for property taken by the govt., a speedy and public trial

and

freedom from: unreasonable search and seizure, excessive bail, cruel and unusual punishment and having soldiers stationed in your house without your consent

These are listed in the Bill of Rights, but there are even more. Amendment 9 basically says, "Just because a right isn't in this list, doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

So you can see how from that perspective, what's going on today in our country (secret surveillance, socialization of the economy, torture...etc.) seems very 1984. (an awesome book that everyone should read!)

Homeschool blues

2009-03-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

I love homeschooling. I could write endless posts about the benefits of children learning at their own pace, in their own style.

But you know what? It's awfully hard. On me.

I can't rant to my heart's content here, for the usual reasons.

I'll just say that I wonder if things are going well when the dominant feeling in me is frustration. That just can't be right.

When incredibly gifted at math child can't remember 11-7: frustration
When almost teenager child constantly pushes the limit on computer time: frustration
When youngest child does nothing wrong, but talks incessantly to herself, thus distracting siblings: frustration.

Of course I exaggerate (that's what one does on blogs right?) - frustration isn't always at the forefront. But sometimes it gets so big, and really bothers me. That's when I do a lot of praying. "Hey, Big Guy! Am I on the right track here? Do I need a course change? Or is this just part of it all?"

On the bright side: MiniMe read her first words today! You know the old classics - "sat", "mat", "set" and "met".....I know them well. She is trés excited and I did all the obligatory summersaults and high fives and whoo-hooing.

The other good news is that I discovered the online math course we use is the "premier" educational tool. The guys who created it wrote a paper called "The Assessment of Knowledge, in Theory and in Practice" (which is still sitting on my desk - I will get to it, promise). Anyways it has charts that look like this:

and is considered to be on the cutting edge of education. Score for Sue!

I've been homeschooling for 9 years now. I've been through burnout before. It's a good thing to avoid, if possible. I need to cultivate joy in the learning/teaching process.

I wish I was better at that.

Parenting is Wierd

2009-03-21T20:26:00.001-07:00

My son's social life lately has been more active than mine.

"You'd better step it up!" he commented when I lamented that fact in his presence.

(paragraph detailing just how well a super-active social life for me would go over omitted for the usual reasons).

Something else that's really getting me. Three nights a week ARG goes to fencing. He carpools with another family, one that we like and trust. BUT.... he doesn't get home until 11:00 or 11:30pm! Hubby and I are both asleep by then. It is so weird. Don't you think it's weird? Should we stay up? Can't ask Hubby to do it - he's got to get up at 5:30am. I couldn't stay up that late if I tried (I'm not joking). I fall asleep easily by 9:30 or 10:00 every night. The other alternative is for one of us to take him, and insist on getting home earlier. Which we may start doing. Ugh.

But still. I don't like it. Fencing is like this strange, fringe sport. Classes are too darn late! Or maybe ARG is too darn good, and he has to fence with adults (who have jobs and therefore have to fence at night). Crazy.

Awkward Segue:

MiniMe had a visit from her cousin Pearl this week. Playing, eating, sleepover, eating, playing more. They love each other so much, and only bicker (MiniMe yells louder) occasionally. They love each other so much, they decided to do what girlfriends do for each other: give hair advice.

I believe it went something like this:

Pearl: we should cut our hair
MiniMe: Yeah! I'll get the scissors from Rosie's room.
CUT! CUT! CUT!

It's a fair bet that they knew they shouldn't be snipping away at their golden locks, as they only cut in the back, or side, lower layers. Then they "cleaned it up", so we wouldn't find the hair. I only discovered the hair escapade when I put up MiniMe's hair into pony tails, only to find great swaths of it didn't go in the pony tail any more, but sort of sticks out around and behind her ear.

It's not a complete disaster. I think it's salvageable. We are off to the salon tomorrow for her first "real" haircut. We'll see what the stylist recommends. I'm hoping for the Shirley Temple look. MiniMe could totally pull that off. She has awesome loopy blond curls.

I didn't get mad. Know why? Yours truly cut her own locks at the exact same age. Except I grabbed a fistful hair right in front of my face and cut close to the scalp. Yikes. I still remember getting teased by the first graders at the bus stop. Sniff. (heeeeeey! maybe that's why I'm always freaked out about bangs and what to do with them!)

Cat Conspiracy

2009-03-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

If you are considering getting a cat, and
If you are allergic to cats, and
If you thought you might try one of those hypoallergenic (freak mutant) cats...

you might want to know about this:

A friend of mine created a blog to talk about his experiences getting ripped off by a company called Lifestyle Pets, who claim to sell a hypoallergic cat called Allerca, but really just seem to charge thousands of dollars for the honor of being put on an endless waiting list.

Some Things

2009-03-19T21:38:00.000-07:00

No major themes today.

Just some things I've been up to lately:

- torturing myself watching videos of my babies
- being disgusted by the graphic, bloody violence in a documentary on Rome that ARG is watching
- wondering when I will ever get back on a regular work out routine
- being totally unimpressed and uninterested in St. Patrick's Day
- feeling disappointed that in Missouri people who support Ron Paul (my MAN!) and support the Constitution are being profiled as potential paramilitary terrorists.
- not eating enough fiber or greens
- loving long walks through the hills on soft spring days
- wondering if we will get a puggle soon (and what we will name it)
- trying to figure out how to do high school at home
- watching movies about my hero, George Washington
- enjoying listening in on ARG's history class (I love when the teacher gets all excited about republics)
- wishing I didn't have a huge property tax bill looming
- hoping my income tax return will come in time to pay the property taxes
- being befuddled by the attraction of FB, but hanging in there just the same
- having great ideas for posts, not having time to write about them, then forgetting them
- considering what clothes I'll bring to NYC (yipeeeee!)
- teaching MiniMe to read
- sleeping too much
- thinking and praying about friends who are struggling
- wondering if anyone other than libertarians has really studied the causes of the great depression
- reading my favorite blogs

Pray that all my lost post ideas will come back soon.

I'm a bit peeved

2009-03-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

Rosie found some old video cassettes over the weekend. They were about eleven years old.

Watching videos of ARG when he was almost two just about broke my heart. I miss that little guy! He was the light of my life. And where is he? Gone. Forever.

I know, I know. He grew up into a super special, intelligent, funny, ginormous almost teenager. Who wants to play first person shooters. Who loves military strategy. Who argues with strangers on gaming forums about politics. I know - THIS guy is special and lovable too.

But he's not my little two year old ARG! That little guy has vanished. And it's not fair. I know I'm crazy to say this, but I'm a little miffed with the Big Guy Upstairs about all this. It is rough for a mommy to lose her little one. Yes, it was gradual. Yes, I was there the whole time. Yes, I didn't really lose him (God forbid). But in a way, I did lose him.

The little guy who said, "Me want mo miwk" and sang "Finkwul funkwul wittwul staw" has disappeared. Now he only exists on video tape. And in my memory. That hurts! And seems like a lot to ask of mommies.

I wish I could spend one more day with that little guy. But even thinking that makes my heart wring up and cringe from the hurt.

Saying goodbye is so hard for me.

How am I ever going to manage sending him off to college?

Home Exchange

2009-03-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

When I volunteered at Rosie's swim meet over the weekend, I got to talking with another mom. She shared all about how she and her family had done a home exchange. They traded homes with a family in Holland, and spent six weeks toodling around the Low Country, seeing storks and blonde people. She went through HomeExchange.com.

It got me to thinking. I have always wanted to go back to Spain. And I have failed miserably at teaching my children Spanish. What a great way to kill two birds with one stone - go to Spain! I looked up on the home exchange site, and of course found the most adorable, lovely, perfectly situated apartment in Madrid. I WANT TO GO!!!!!!!

It has room for all of us. It is right near the Retiro park. Walking distance from the Prado. Sigh. It would be heavenly.

But what am I thinking? We are moving ever closer to getting a dog! We can't go away for six weeks any time soon. Or even a week. Or even on a plane. Not to mention, airfare to Madrid is about $1,000 per person. Not in the budget. But what a fantastic dream......

España....

Thinking about strangers looking at my home has affected me. I'm looking at it with new eyes. And what do I see? A mess. A home that I never finished decorating. Dying plants. Junk.

So, I'm on a cleaning spree. I'm throwing stuff out. I'm cleaning above the stove and under the bed. I want to get this house in order! Or at least start the process toward a home that anyone would be happy to vacation in.

I've probably got a year at least to get it together.

Honestly....

2009-03-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

You would think by the third child I would have this down. You know, teaching them right from wrong, truth from lies, black from white. But my dearest MiniMe is throwing me for a loop.

She is four. She is still in the phase of child development where reality and fantasy are mixed up pretty equally. She can spin a yarn that includes elements of truth and reality, along with a whopping amount of fantasy and....er.... lies. Sadly, the lesson that lies are wrong hasn't been driven home quite hard enough for her.

This girl is smart. She knows how to work the system. And she is highly motivated to get her way. So an untruth slides off her lips as easily as anything else. And I (experience mom that I am) am just starting to realize it. It's one of those moments in parenthood when you sigh heavily and realize that you have to really show up for your kid. That you have to figure out how to help her learn right from wrong. Lots of talking, training, praise for the truth and timeouts and loss of book reading (oh, she hates that) for lies.

But it is challenging to explain to a little one why honesty is important. She doesn't know the meaning of the words "character", "respect" and "trust" yet. So, now I've got to teach her. If I don't believe what she says, even some of the time, I can't trust her. Then she has to be supervised and treated as an untrustworthy person. If she lies to my face, I can't respect her.

This is where the real homeschooling starts. Teaching and building character is at least, if not more, important than learning ABC's and 123's in my mind.

But honestly? It's a lot harder to teach.

Sound board

2009-03-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I ran the soundboard for the worship band at church. I am still a total beginner, but slowly learning which buttons and knobs control which mikes and instruments. Modifying the equalizer is still a bit beyond me, but I do know how to turn down the bass.

I've learned a few things that one can only learn through experience:
- when there is feedback (ouch!) it's usually the mikes - mute them.
- the volume fader for the CD player is touchy - it goes from quiet to blaring very quickly (oops).
- the worship leader likes his guitar loud(er than I would make it)
- I need to boost the electric guitar when he does his "solos for God" ;)
- in an emergency - if all else fails - use the master volume and bring it all down

I've been trained pretty well, but so much of doing the sound board is just.....doing it. You have to learn through experience (that means mistakes). But hey, I'm happy as long as I don't make hugely major mistakes that distract a lot from the service.

But here's the thing about yesterday. It was the first day of daylight savings. I got up at 7am (which was really 6am), hurried through my morning routine to get to church by 7:45. Shower, makeup, brush teeth, clothes.....etc.

About half way through the first service I began to notice a distinct smell of body odor. Hmmm.... l looked around.... there was only one guy near me and he wasn't that close. Uh oh. Yep, you guessed it. Moi! Going au natural in the armpit department for the first high pressure job of doing sound board all on my own. Nice.......When you can smell your own body odor, you know you stink.

Guess I missed the deodorant part of my morning routine in my rush. Plus, I ran out of my favorite Altoids gum. So there I was; stinky with coffee breath. Mmmmmm.....

Hopefully I managed to get out of there without totally nauseating anyone.

Hopefully.

I'm sure glad God loves smelly people too.

Weekend? What Weekend?

2009-03-07T16:10:00.000-08:00

It has gradually dawned upon me that my weekends are not really weekends, as they are commonly understood to be. Most people think of a weekend as a "time off" from work. A few days for rest, relaxation and fun.

Seven months into the school/fencing/ballet/swimming year, I have come to the conclusion that I don't really have a weekend. Most of my Saturdays and Sundays are filled fuller and busier than the rest of the week.

Take today. I got up at 6am (an ungodly hour - I never get up that early M-F) to volunteer at Rosie's swim meet. From 6:30 to 11:30 I served bagels, muffins and cup-o-noodles, while occasionally dashing out of the snack bar to cheer on Rosie. (BTW - she shaved 6 seconds off her 50 backstroke and made her "B" time - woo hoo!).

For the rest of the day (with one hour break for a walk, and 20 min. to write this blog) I did my motherly duty in the kitchen. I am the behind the scenes support person for ARG's poker night. Homemade cookies, pizza from scratch, snakes galore - plus cleaning the house. Phew! Tonight I will serve and clean. Then lay down on my bed and pass out.

Then there's tomorrow. I am volunteering at church. This means I have to get to church one hour before the first service (yikes - it's daylight savings!). Then I have to work through both services, while managing my girls before, between and after. (ARG and Hubby will be at a Bay Cup Fencing tournament at Stanford). On top of this, I am running the sound board for the worship band. Do I know how to do this? Not really. Am I comfortable doing this? Heck no! Will I be sweating and praying and hoping for no major feedback? Yeah baby. I'll be there until noon, at least.

Yes, I do get Sunday afternoon "off". If "off" means I don't have to drive my kids to a class, or assist with math, or read out loud. But if "off" means I get to do whatever I want to do? Not so much.

I must add a caveat to all this: I do get some hours to myself during the week when St. Nan Nan comes. And sometimes, I even manage to do something fun like coffee with a friend. But usually it gets filled with exercise, errands, dr. appts....etc. Trader Joe's without the kids? Yipeee!

I yearn for my next real "time off".

It's coming....in May....
(squeeling and bouncing)....
yes! it's another superfun trip to NYC!

(more on that later)

Parenting Stuff

2009-03-01T09:35:00.000-08:00

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I like to dabble in the great parenting debate. You might have heard some of the synopsis of the different child-rearing techniques:
- I'm OK, your OK
- spare the rod, spoil the child
- helicopter parents
- aggro-mom
- let's be best friends

In the last year or so I've read a couple of books on parenting written by psychologists who have active practices counselling children, adolescents and their parents. I can't remember most of what I read (my brain is mush these days). But there was one nugget that caught my attention.

What sparked my curiosity is that these psychologists (generally liberal in outlook), through observation in their practices and through scientific studies, each concluded (much to their consternation and surprise) that children who grow up in homes with strict, even authoritarian parents become happier adults.

They attribute this outcome to the principle that children must have boundaries to feel safe. When children understand that they belong in a hierarchy (and that they are not at the top or center of it!) they feel safe. I guess feeling safe is a condition for children to experience the world in a realistic way. Their relationship with reality is truer than kids who are always catered to, protected and praised. They are not so prone to delusion and disappointment.

I think that many parents of my generation need to hear this, so let me repeat.

Studies in child psychology have shown that children in strict, hierarchical homes grow up to be happier adults.

I'm not advocating for harsh punishments, cruelty or any of that garbage. Strict limits and teaching children their place in the family must be done with tons of love, patience and compassion. But I am pleased, because I always thought the "children are innocent - we just need to let them find their own way" parenting style was stupid. Children are innocent, but they are also supremely self-centered and needy. If no limits are placed on their desires and needs as little ones, they won't learn the life lesson that "You don't always get what you want". They'll grow up thinking they are the center of the universe, that anything less than "my way" is wrong, disappointing or failure. They can never mature into an understanding of their proper, interconnected and interrelated role in the universe.

I used to worry that I was "squashing his spirit" when I enforced limits on little ARG. I used to silently criticize friends and family that were more strict with their kids. But now I think that I was working from a wrong assumption: that kids must always be allowed to express themselves, and have input on all decisions affecting them in order to blossom.

Hope I'm not sounding preachy. It's something I've though a lot about, so I have strong feelings. And please, don't think I'm holding myself up as the standard of perfection here. Far, far from it! I'm still waiting for the magic pill, or parenting bible that will tell me how to do this.

But you know what? It's no fun being around a kid who thinks she is the bees knees. Who thinks and behaves as if she is equal to all the adults around. But worse than no fun, it's a disservice to the kid - and that's sad.

Butterflies ARE real!

2009-02-25T18:18:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we visited the new CA Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park. I had heard glowing and not so glowing reviews, so I wasn't sure what to expect. My expectations were pretty low, especially since I thought the "old" Academy of Sciences was just fine when they closed it five years ago.

I have to say, it was pretty cool.

Rosie, MiniMe and I met up with St. NanNan and my neice Pearl, who is MiniMe's age. First off we went to the aquarium. Obviously someone from the Academy took a trip to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium and took notes. There was a giant (though not as giant as Monterrey) CA coral reef in which a miked diver submerges and talks to the audience. It really was beautiful and the girls were excited to see all the fish and "sea enemies". They had the obligatory "feel the star fish" station, which was enjoyed by everyone under 10.

But there was no more Roundabout. I used to love going round and round up into the circular tank, where the tuna swam dizzyingly around and around. It was all dark, and they had benches......but I digress.

I was pretty impressed by the cafe. It was very San Francisco. Or at least very California. Everything from fish and chips (fried right in front of you) to lamb curry or sushi. The prices were $8-12 per entree. Not too bad if compared to lunch anywhere else in the City.

But the best part of the day was a visit to the....well...it was a sort of aviary. There's probably a sciency name for it, but I can't remember. It was a huge enclosure with a ramp spiraling around the outer edge, three levels high. In it were a fair number of pretty yellow birds, and an abundance of butterflies. It was especially meaningful for me and MiniMe, because a few weeks ago she asked me, "Mama, are butterflies real?" Oops. Guess we haven't been getting outside enough....

She so wanted to see "real" butterflies. And boy did she. Black ones with yellow spots on the wings, blue wings on top with brown underneath, all different kinds of flying beauties. But the pinnacle of excitement occurred when a butterfly landed on MiniMe's hand! The look on her face was magic. Wondrous. (why didn't I bring my camera?) Then, I was lucky enough to have one land on my arm. Then it camped out there for a few minutes (my shirt was green). People were taking pictures of my arm. Finally, I raised my arm to shoo it off, but lowered it quickly when I beheld my flab swinging. "Blowing it off will do just fine - thank you very much!" And off it went. The other girls were a little disappointed that they didn't butterflies on them.

After the butterfly extravaganza (which also included cute little orange frogs, geckos...etc.) we visited the African Hall. It was very similar to the old hall, sans the benches. What's up with that? Why don't they have benches for us tired old folks? Anyways, the stuffed animals were almost exactly as they were before. The one difference was the penguins. They were in Africa Hall, instead of the aquarium. Are there penguins in Africa? I didn't think so......but now I'm not sure.

The end of the visit saw us sitting outside in the park between the Academy and the de Young museum. The girls built forts out of branches that had been cut off the trees in the park, which we enjoyed the benches.

So, overall I give the place a moderately enthusiastic thumbs up. We didn't go to the planetarium, and missed the climate change section. More things to check out next time!

Your standard rant

2009-02-24T14:23:00.000-08:00

I am going to take a moment and vent about the restrictions of my blog.

About half the time when I think ,"It would be cool to write about that!" - I CAN'T. Self censorship. Might offend. Might reveal too much. Might hurt.

Then, when I consider what I would like to write about, I'm always thinking about who actually reads this blog. I don't know everyone, but I know a few of the folks who check-in here. "What would she think about that?" and "Would he like that?" float through my head.

I mean, who is this blog for anyways?

It was supposed to be for me, to make "A Serious Attempt at Fun". But often, the funniest things going on in my life are my crazy interactions with my family and friends. But SafetyMan is ubercautious. ARG is a teenager (do I need to say anything else?). Friends read here and so I can't rant about them.

UGH!

So, what? I'm left with politics? I am so over my head in disgust at what's going on right now, I wouldn't know where to start. I think I'm psychically bummed to be living in America during it's decline (it's true, I heard it on NPR!)

Plus, I'll be honest. the intellectual rigor it takes to make my position compelling, or even clear, is a bit much for me right now. I feel like I would need to devote more time and energy to it than would be good for the fam.

So anyways. BLAH.

Why don't I just quit this thing? I don't know. I suppose I still feel a spark in there that wants to come out. A part of me that wants to reach out and communicate and share.

Man, this is the angst I feel over a little blog. I feel for real writers.

Home Again

2009-02-20T08:06:00.000-08:00

We're back from rainy San Diego. You think it should've been sunny? So did I.

We had a most terrifying experience while in the Southland. The day I picked to visit the cousins who live in Temecula (about an hour east of San Diego), it was raining cats and dogs. I drove out with the kiddos that morning, at a slower speed than usual. All went well, until it was time to exit the freeway.

As I moved into the slow lane in order to take the next exit, my car began to hydroplane. And I mean we were gliding off the bleeping road! I don't know where I learned this, but somehow I knew not to do anything dramatic. No brakes. No turning. Foot off the gas. So amidst my panicked shouting, "Sh&#$t! Sh&#$t!", we veered off the road. I turn the wheel slightly to the left, and we veered back onto the road, and into the second lane. I thought, "We're going to crash!"

ARG yelled, "What?!?" and I screamed, "We're hydroplaning!"

Then it was over. The wheels got friction again, and we were able to get off at our exit. Man! My heart was pounding. My back was so tight! Hands were shaking. I couldn't talk. I was panting. We probably were out of control for about 7-10 seconds, but it seems an eternity when you are going 60mph on a freeway and your kids are all in the car.

Oddly, the girls in the backseat never knew anything was wrong until it was over. They were busy playing, I guess. But ARG knew. He said later, "I knew something was wrong when you started to swear."

Wouldn't that be sad if my last words were profane? Oh, how I wish I could change that bad habit of swearing when I'm scared. I don't really do it otherwise.

Anyhow, we made it safe and sound. But I think I'll avoid freeway driving if possible when it's raining that hard. Freeways flood too easily.

Other than our near death experience, we had a lovely time in San Diego. The in-laws take such great care of us. I don't have to cook. Kids don't do school. Lots of field trips, movies, visitng, eating and sleeping in.

What could be better? I think I'll make this mid-February trip a tradition.