It's half full darn it!

I have known for a long time that I am a "cup half empty" [henceforth known as CHE] type of person. I'm not sure why I turned out that way - it wasn't on purpose. Until recently, I didn't see it as much of a problem (that's weird - I didn't see the cup half empty in a cup half empty way....)

But recently I've been realizing that being a cup half empty person is a real drag. When I have a choice about how to perceive and respond to a person, situation...whatever, I end up doing the mostly negative route. By habit. I'm conditioned. The ruts in my brain are set.

How lame is that? Aside from being un-fun and uncomfortable, it is the opposite of what Jesus teaches. Jesus teaches us to grow in love, kindness, respect, honor....all the good stuff. Not get stuck in the bad attitude of the day.

The only potential benefit of seeing things in the CHE way is that (I believe) it helps me have a pretty good grasp on reality. No rosy glasses and all that. But I suppose it skews my reality more than I'd like to admit.

So, I've been trying to shift my attitude to....you guessed it - "Cup Half Full"! It is strange and requires my full attention and intention to make it happen. Those ruts in the brain? They are strong. But I really don't want to live the rest of my life in a negative funk. I'd even risk having rosy glasses on if it helped me feel better most of the time.

Negative thoughts? They equal negative feelings. And I dont' need any more of those.

A new era

A new era has dawned in our little family. A paradigm shift. A turning point.

ARG has his first paying job!

Do you know how long I have waited for this? Well, I guess it's not that hard to figure out. Thirteen years I've been waiting! My little consumer has turned a corner and is beginning on his path towards being a producer for the family. Woot!

When it rains it pours, because he actually has two jobs.

Thanks to Hubby who has larned'im how to do computer stuff - he has his first gig helping someone with their website. A cashola - paying gig! I am strongly encouraging ARG to help out the fam by sharing some of his beaucoup dolores with us (read - me). He hasn't actually gotten any money yet. Hopefully he'll do a bang-up job and get more jobs in the future. Dreamy.....

The other foot-in-the-door on the way to bringing-home-the-baconhood is a job helping run a fencing class for little tykes at his fencing club. His first day is today. In return he gets a free private lesson. YES! Saves me that much more money. Historically, ARG hasn't been a huge fan of younger kids, but I'm hoping that the fencing element will give him the enthusiasm to  do a  good job.

Pretty cool, huh?

Now, when can Rosie start babysitting?

Uber-lame

Had to delete my last post (which was stellar, of course) because of lame porno link that someone put in a comment.

Sorry to deprive you of my brilliance.

Urg.

Kansas City.

We're back! Actually we've been back for 5 days but it took me this long to get to my blog.

What can I say about our trip to Kansas City? (with the usual caveat of not being able to say anything really important for fear of offending anyone).

It was good.

No, seriously. It was pretty fun. But totally overwhelming for me (mentally, emotionally & financially).

Our flights out were on time with no problems. Does that even happen anymore? Fifty bucks for the cab to the hotel - ouch. The Marriot downtown was very nice. And thanks to my Dad fronting us some Marriot points, we got onto the top floor with access to that special room where rich people get to steal water, snacks and coffee.

I had to buy ARG a new lamé (ka-ching) and glove (ka-ching), but the rest of his gear passed inspection. We watched the girls fence Friday and I tell ya, it is a whole different experience being at a tournament when ARG isn't fencing. It is interesting. And fun. None of the girls we know did very well, unfortunately.

The days when ARG competed were soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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stressful for me. I just get so darn nervous! I have to make sure ARG gets where he needs to be on time. I have to chit chat amiably with other fencing parents while feeling like I need to barf. I have to keep score of ARG's pools, take pictures, carry backup cords & blade, hand him
water during his 1 minute break and cheer (discreetly).

My body completely tenses as I feel every blow he receives and try to magically help him score points by my efforts. Crazy. I was actually sore the next day. But I felt better after I saw another fencing mom jumping, dodging and lunging around the side of the strip while her son fenced. It's kind of like when I hold my breath while MiniMe is underwater at swim lessons. I don't know why I do it, I just do.

To be helpful to ARG I have to keep my cool, not show my nerves, and mostly be quiet throughout the tournament. And friends? That is just NOT my style. When I'm nervous, I'm chatty. You can imagine the mental gymnastics I do in my head to stay on task at a tournament.

In the end ARG did OK. Not great. Not terrible. Right in the middle. Somewhat anticlimactic.

But the testosterone levels at those national tournaments is overwhelming. You might think fencing is a courtly sport for pansies. Wrong. These guys are in top athletic shape. They have been training for years and they are passionate, focused and intense. There is A LOT of yelling going on. Mostly the fencers when they get a point. Sometimes the coaches yell. Oh, did I mention that most of the coaches are middle aged Eastern European or Russian men? Not exactly your warm and cuddly types.

I took one day off from the fencing frenzy to visit a very nice art museum in KC. By myself. ARG wanted to go watch the girls again. And that was fine, because the convention center was a block away from the hotel.

We went out several nights with all the families from our club. That was fun, but pricey. The BBQ in KC was awesome. Everyone is super nice. But everyone has their kids on the super competitive track with fencing, and so that is almost all that is talked about. That can get old after a while.

I'm glad we went. I didn't have to cook or clean for 4 days (ahhhh....) And I learn a lot about fencing, and what it will take for ARG to compete well on a national level. But that, is another post.

Kansas City, Baby!

I have printed our boarding passes.

I have packed the suitcase.

We are ready to go.

Tomorrow ARG and I set off for a grand adventure in Kansas City, MO! Did you think Kansas City was in Kansas? So did I. You learn something new everyday.

ARG will be brandishing his trusty sabre at the North America Cup in the Youth 14 and Cadet (16 and under) events. As I have mentioned before, fencing is really wierd. One can never predict the outcome of a tournament. The range of possibilities is pretty darn wide, due to the many variables that go into the fencing equation:
- referee (how does THIS one call things? how fast can ARG adapt to the ref's style?)
- who is in ARG's pool (points from the pools determine who you will fence in DEs)
- an OFF day, or an ON day - it can go either way for an athlete
- who ARG faces in the DE's
It's a crap shoot. Sometimes you get easy people for the first few DE's. Sometimes you get the gold medal winner in your first one. You just never know.

He could literally place anywhere from the top 8, to .... somewhere around 90th. It is most likely that he will place in the top 64. Hopefully the top 32. Excitingly the top 16. Ecstatically, jumping up and down, screaming "Hooray!" for the top 8.

I always get a little nervous before I travel. I am weird and neurotic that way. It would be so nice if I could just cruise onto a plane and enjoy the free time to sit and read or watch a movie. But no, I worry and fret. I pray over the plane. I ask my friends to pray. I prepare for death.

You can imagine that saying goodbye to hubby and girls is a bit traumatic for me, as I always imagine the possibility of never seeing them again.

But after 41 years of flying, experience has shown me that I usually never die. And I almost always have a great time wherever I am going.

So, I'm counting on that. Maybe I'll have a life changing steak. Who knows?