More on Homeschooling

I am in homeschool/highschool land.

Join me.

A few people asked which online Math program I referred to in a previous post. It's called Aleks Math and I can recommend it pretty highly. Students only need to repeat lessons when they get wrong answers. Their progress is assessed from time to time. Any questions that are missed on the assessment lead to a re-learning of that particular lesson. My kids like it because they get to choose which topics to work on each day, so they feel they are in control. It allows them to move quite rapidly through the curriculum. As fast as they go, I do feel that that a bit more review would be good. I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate that (but haven't yet). For example, ARG is in HS Geometry and can't remember how to do long division because he hasn't had to for a few years.

Another gem I can plug with no qualms is History at Our House - a supreme distance learning history program. It is lecture based, via phone conference calls, with images, maps...etc. online. Assignments are emailed. ARG has learned more about ancient history (and why it matters now) in six months of his junior high class than I ever did in college. And I was a history major! The lectures are lively and Mr. Powell is respectful but demanding on his students.

Options we are considering for next year are Stanford EPGY, Johns Hopkins CTY and/or College of San Mateo for science and English (and probably spanish).

I know - more than you really wanted to know. But I need to get my thoughts out somewhere!

Thoughts on the times...

Saw this article today, and thought to myself, "Hey! this is good."

I know I am a crazy libertarian. But I keep seeing signs that the erosion of our liberty is speeding up every year. Sometimes I feel scared.

To think that the cops in any state would be on the lookout for domestic terrorists, having the profile of a Ron Paul supporter, or (gasp!) a believer in the Constitution chills me to the bones. That is me folks.

When I see all that is going on with the financial bail out, I just see government getting bigger and more powerful. Not that I have the slightest of how to solve our collective economic problems. If I had read and studied more I could possibly advocate some position. And maybe I've been brainwashed enough that the idea of doing nothing, and letting the market adjust on it's own just seems too radical to me. That's what a true libertarian would want though.

From a historical perspective, the only conclusion I can draw from what I see around me is that we are headed ultimately for:
- empire / dictatorship
- aristocratic (big business) rule
- pure democracy (which our country is NOT at present, by the way)

None of these options is good for individual rights. Which to me seem like the best standard by which to evaluate the powers of a government. Are rights violated? That's bad. Are they protected? That's good.

What rights exactly need to be protected? A summarized list:

freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, petition the govt., bear arms, privacy, due process of the law, just compensation for property taken by the govt., a speedy and public trial

and

freedom from: unreasonable search and seizure, excessive bail, cruel and unusual punishment and having soldiers stationed in your house without your consent

These are listed in the Bill of Rights, but there are even more. Amendment 9 basically says, "Just because a right isn't in this list, doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

So you can see how from that perspective, what's going on today in our country (secret surveillance, socialization of the economy, torture...etc.) seems very 1984. (an awesome book that everyone should read!)

Homeschool blues

I love homeschooling. I could write endless posts about the benefits of children learning at their own pace, in their own style.

But you know what? It's awfully hard. On me.

I can't rant to my heart's content here, for the usual reasons.

I'll just say that I wonder if things are going well when the dominant feeling in me is frustration. That just can't be right.

When incredibly gifted at math child can't remember 11-7: frustration
When almost teenager child constantly pushes the limit on computer time: frustration
When youngest child does nothing wrong, but talks incessantly to herself, thus distracting siblings: frustration.

Of course I exaggerate (that's what one does on blogs right?) - frustration isn't always at the forefront. But sometimes it gets so big, and really bothers me. That's when I do a lot of praying. "Hey, Big Guy! Am I on the right track here? Do I need a course change? Or is this just part of it all?"

On the bright side: MiniMe read her first words today! You know the old classics - "sat", "mat", "set" and "met".....I know them well. She is trés excited and I did all the obligatory summersaults and high fives and whoo-hooing.

The other good news is that I discovered the online math course we use is the "premier" educational tool. The guys who created it wrote a paper called "The Assessment of Knowledge, in Theory and in Practice" (which is still sitting on my desk - I will get to it, promise). Anyways it has charts that look like this:

and is considered to be on the cutting edge of education. Score for Sue!

I've been homeschooling for 9 years now. I've been through burnout before. It's a good thing to avoid, if possible. I need to cultivate joy in the learning/teaching process.

I wish I was better at that.

Parenting is Wierd

My son's social life lately has been more active than mine.

"You'd better step it up!" he commented when I lamented that fact in his presence.

(paragraph detailing just how well a super-active social life for me would go over omitted for the usual reasons).

Something else that's really getting me. Three nights a week ARG goes to fencing. He carpools with another family, one that we like and trust. BUT.... he doesn't get home until 11:00 or 11:30pm! Hubby and I are both asleep by then. It is so weird. Don't you think it's weird? Should we stay up? Can't ask Hubby to do it - he's got to get up at 5:30am. I couldn't stay up that late if I tried (I'm not joking). I fall asleep easily by 9:30 or 10:00 every night. The other alternative is for one of us to take him, and insist on getting home earlier. Which we may start doing. Ugh.

But still. I don't like it. Fencing is like this strange, fringe sport. Classes are too darn late! Or maybe ARG is too darn good, and he has to fence with adults (who have jobs and therefore have to fence at night). Crazy.

Awkward Segue:

MiniMe had a visit from her cousin Pearl this week. Playing, eating, sleepover, eating, playing more. They love each other so much, and only bicker (MiniMe yells louder) occasionally. They love each other so much, they decided to do what girlfriends do for each other: give hair advice.

I believe it went something like this:

Pearl: we should cut our hair
MiniMe: Yeah! I'll get the scissors from Rosie's room.
CUT! CUT! CUT!

It's a fair bet that they knew they shouldn't be snipping away at their golden locks, as they only cut in the back, or side, lower layers. Then they "cleaned it up", so we wouldn't find the hair. I only discovered the hair escapade when I put up MiniMe's hair into pony tails, only to find great swaths of it didn't go in the pony tail any more, but sort of sticks out around and behind her ear.

It's not a complete disaster. I think it's salvageable. We are off to the salon tomorrow for her first "real" haircut. We'll see what the stylist recommends. I'm hoping for the Shirley Temple look. MiniMe could totally pull that off. She has awesome loopy blond curls.

I didn't get mad. Know why? Yours truly cut her own locks at the exact same age. Except I grabbed a fistful hair right in front of my face and cut close to the scalp. Yikes. I still remember getting teased by the first graders at the bus stop. Sniff. (heeeeeey! maybe that's why I'm always freaked out about bangs and what to do with them!)

Cat Conspiracy

If you are considering getting a cat, and
If you are allergic to cats, and
If you thought you might try one of those hypoallergenic (freak mutant) cats...

you might want to know about this:

A friend of mine created a blog to talk about his experiences getting ripped off by a company called Lifestyle Pets, who claim to sell a hypoallergic cat called Allerca, but really just seem to charge thousands of dollars for the honor of being put on an endless waiting list.

Some Things

No major themes today.

Just some things I've been up to lately:

- torturing myself watching videos of my babies
- being disgusted by the graphic, bloody violence in a documentary on Rome that ARG is watching
- wondering when I will ever get back on a regular work out routine
- being totally unimpressed and uninterested in St. Patrick's Day
- feeling disappointed that in Missouri people who support Ron Paul (my MAN!) and support the Constitution are being profiled as potential paramilitary terrorists.
- not eating enough fiber or greens
- loving long walks through the hills on soft spring days
- wondering if we will get a puggle soon (and what we will name it)
- trying to figure out how to do high school at home
- watching movies about my hero, George Washington
- enjoying listening in on ARG's history class (I love when the teacher gets all excited about republics)
- wishing I didn't have a huge property tax bill looming
- hoping my income tax return will come in time to pay the property taxes
- being befuddled by the attraction of FB, but hanging in there just the same
- having great ideas for posts, not having time to write about them, then forgetting them
- considering what clothes I'll bring to NYC (yipeeeee!)
- teaching MiniMe to read
- sleeping too much
- thinking and praying about friends who are struggling
- wondering if anyone other than libertarians has really studied the causes of the great depression
- reading my favorite blogs

Pray that all my lost post ideas will come back soon.

I'm a bit peeved

Rosie found some old video cassettes over the weekend. They were about eleven years old.

Watching videos of ARG when he was almost two just about broke my heart. I miss that little guy! He was the light of my life. And where is he? Gone. Forever.

I know, I know. He grew up into a super special, intelligent, funny, ginormous almost teenager. Who wants to play first person shooters. Who loves military strategy. Who argues with strangers on gaming forums about politics. I know - THIS guy is special and lovable too.

But he's not my little two year old ARG! That little guy has vanished. And it's not fair. I know I'm crazy to say this, but I'm a little miffed with the Big Guy Upstairs about all this. It is rough for a mommy to lose her little one. Yes, it was gradual. Yes, I was there the whole time. Yes, I didn't really lose him (God forbid). But in a way, I did lose him.

The little guy who said, "Me want mo miwk" and sang "Finkwul funkwul wittwul staw" has disappeared. Now he only exists on video tape. And in my memory. That hurts! And seems like a lot to ask of mommies.

I wish I could spend one more day with that little guy. But even thinking that makes my heart wring up and cringe from the hurt.

Saying goodbye is so hard for me.

How am I ever going to manage sending him off to college?

Home Exchange

When I volunteered at Rosie's swim meet over the weekend, I got to talking with another mom. She shared all about how she and her family had done a home exchange. They traded homes with a family in Holland, and spent six weeks toodling around the Low Country, seeing storks and blonde people. She went through HomeExchange.com.

It got me to thinking. I have always wanted to go back to Spain. And I have failed miserably at teaching my children Spanish. What a great way to kill two birds with one stone - go to Spain! I looked up on the home exchange site, and of course found the most adorable, lovely, perfectly situated apartment in Madrid. I WANT TO GO!!!!!!!

It has room for all of us. It is right near the Retiro park. Walking distance from the Prado. Sigh. It would be heavenly.

But what am I thinking? We are moving ever closer to getting a dog! We can't go away for six weeks any time soon. Or even a week. Or even on a plane. Not to mention, airfare to Madrid is about $1,000 per person. Not in the budget. But what a fantastic dream......

España....

Thinking about strangers looking at my home has affected me. I'm looking at it with new eyes. And what do I see? A mess. A home that I never finished decorating. Dying plants. Junk.

So, I'm on a cleaning spree. I'm throwing stuff out. I'm cleaning above the stove and under the bed. I want to get this house in order! Or at least start the process toward a home that anyone would be happy to vacation in.

I've probably got a year at least to get it together.

Honestly....

You would think by the third child I would have this down. You know, teaching them right from wrong, truth from lies, black from white. But my dearest MiniMe is throwing me for a loop.

She is four. She is still in the phase of child development where reality and fantasy are mixed up pretty equally. She can spin a yarn that includes elements of truth and reality, along with a whopping amount of fantasy and....er.... lies. Sadly, the lesson that lies are wrong hasn't been driven home quite hard enough for her.

This girl is smart. She knows how to work the system. And she is highly motivated to get her way. So an untruth slides off her lips as easily as anything else. And I (experience mom that I am) am just starting to realize it. It's one of those moments in parenthood when you sigh heavily and realize that you have to really show up for your kid. That you have to figure out how to help her learn right from wrong. Lots of talking, training, praise for the truth and timeouts and loss of book reading (oh, she hates that) for lies.

But it is challenging to explain to a little one why honesty is important. She doesn't know the meaning of the words "character", "respect" and "trust" yet. So, now I've got to teach her. If I don't believe what she says, even some of the time, I can't trust her. Then she has to be supervised and treated as an untrustworthy person. If she lies to my face, I can't respect her.

This is where the real homeschooling starts. Teaching and building character is at least, if not more, important than learning ABC's and 123's in my mind.

But honestly? It's a lot harder to teach.

Sound board

Yesterday I ran the soundboard for the worship band at church. I am still a total beginner, but slowly learning which buttons and knobs control which mikes and instruments. Modifying the equalizer is still a bit beyond me, but I do know how to turn down the bass.

I've learned a few things that one can only learn through experience:
- when there is feedback (ouch!) it's usually the mikes - mute them.
- the volume fader for the CD player is touchy - it goes from quiet to blaring very quickly (oops).
- the worship leader likes his guitar loud(er than I would make it)
- I need to boost the electric guitar when he does his "solos for God" ;)
- in an emergency - if all else fails - use the master volume and bring it all down

I've been trained pretty well, but so much of doing the sound board is just.....doing it. You have to learn through experience (that means mistakes). But hey, I'm happy as long as I don't make hugely major mistakes that distract a lot from the service.

But here's the thing about yesterday. It was the first day of daylight savings. I got up at 7am (which was really 6am), hurried through my morning routine to get to church by 7:45. Shower, makeup, brush teeth, clothes.....etc.

About half way through the first service I began to notice a distinct smell of body odor. Hmmm.... l looked around.... there was only one guy near me and he wasn't that close. Uh oh. Yep, you guessed it. Moi! Going au natural in the armpit department for the first high pressure job of doing sound board all on my own. Nice.......When you can smell your own body odor, you know you stink.

Guess I missed the deodorant part of my morning routine in my rush. Plus, I ran out of my favorite Altoids gum. So there I was; stinky with coffee breath. Mmmmmm.....

Hopefully I managed to get out of there without totally nauseating anyone.

Hopefully.

I'm sure glad God loves smelly people too.

Weekend? What Weekend?

It has gradually dawned upon me that my weekends are not really weekends, as they are commonly understood to be. Most people think of a weekend as a "time off" from work. A few days for rest, relaxation and fun.

Seven months into the school/fencing/ballet/swimming year, I have come to the conclusion that I don't really have a weekend. Most of my Saturdays and Sundays are filled fuller and busier than the rest of the week.

Take today. I got up at 6am (an ungodly hour - I never get up that early M-F) to volunteer at Rosie's swim meet. From 6:30 to 11:30 I served bagels, muffins and cup-o-noodles, while occasionally dashing out of the snack bar to cheer on Rosie. (BTW - she shaved 6 seconds off her 50 backstroke and made her "B" time - woo hoo!).

For the rest of the day (with one hour break for a walk, and 20 min. to write this blog) I did my motherly duty in the kitchen. I am the behind the scenes support person for ARG's poker night. Homemade cookies, pizza from scratch, snakes galore - plus cleaning the house. Phew! Tonight I will serve and clean. Then lay down on my bed and pass out.

Then there's tomorrow. I am volunteering at church. This means I have to get to church one hour before the first service (yikes - it's daylight savings!). Then I have to work through both services, while managing my girls before, between and after. (ARG and Hubby will be at a Bay Cup Fencing tournament at Stanford). On top of this, I am running the sound board for the worship band. Do I know how to do this? Not really. Am I comfortable doing this? Heck no! Will I be sweating and praying and hoping for no major feedback? Yeah baby. I'll be there until noon, at least.

Yes, I do get Sunday afternoon "off". If "off" means I don't have to drive my kids to a class, or assist with math, or read out loud. But if "off" means I get to do whatever I want to do? Not so much.

I must add a caveat to all this: I do get some hours to myself during the week when St. Nan Nan comes. And sometimes, I even manage to do something fun like coffee with a friend. But usually it gets filled with exercise, errands, dr. appts....etc. Trader Joe's without the kids? Yipeee!

I yearn for my next real "time off".

It's coming....in May....
(squeeling and bouncing)....
yes! it's another superfun trip to NYC!

(more on that later)

Parenting Stuff

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I like to dabble in the great parenting debate. You might have heard some of the synopsis of the different child-rearing techniques:
- I'm OK, your OK
- spare the rod, spoil the child
- helicopter parents
- aggro-mom
- let's be best friends

In the last year or so I've read a couple of books on parenting written by psychologists who have active practices counselling children, adolescents and their parents. I can't remember most of what I read (my brain is mush these days). But there was one nugget that caught my attention.

What sparked my curiosity is that these psychologists (generally liberal in outlook), through observation in their practices and through scientific studies, each concluded (much to their consternation and surprise) that children who grow up in homes with strict, even authoritarian parents become happier adults.

They attribute this outcome to the principle that children must have boundaries to feel safe. When children understand that they belong in a hierarchy (and that they are not at the top or center of it!) they feel safe. I guess feeling safe is a condition for children to experience the world in a realistic way. Their relationship with reality is truer than kids who are always catered to, protected and praised. They are not so prone to delusion and disappointment.

I think that many parents of my generation need to hear this, so let me repeat.

Studies in child psychology have shown that children in strict, hierarchical homes grow up to be happier adults.

I'm not advocating for harsh punishments, cruelty or any of that garbage. Strict limits and teaching children their place in the family must be done with tons of love, patience and compassion. But I am pleased, because I always thought the "children are innocent - we just need to let them find their own way" parenting style was stupid. Children are innocent, but they are also supremely self-centered and needy. If no limits are placed on their desires and needs as little ones, they won't learn the life lesson that "You don't always get what you want". They'll grow up thinking they are the center of the universe, that anything less than "my way" is wrong, disappointing or failure. They can never mature into an understanding of their proper, interconnected and interrelated role in the universe.

I used to worry that I was "squashing his spirit" when I enforced limits on little ARG. I used to silently criticize friends and family that were more strict with their kids. But now I think that I was working from a wrong assumption: that kids must always be allowed to express themselves, and have input on all decisions affecting them in order to blossom.

Hope I'm not sounding preachy. It's something I've though a lot about, so I have strong feelings. And please, don't think I'm holding myself up as the standard of perfection here. Far, far from it! I'm still waiting for the magic pill, or parenting bible that will tell me how to do this.

But you know what? It's no fun being around a kid who thinks she is the bees knees. Who thinks and behaves as if she is equal to all the adults around. But worse than no fun, it's a disservice to the kid - and that's sad.