¡Vive le difference!

I don't know why, but I have always been different from "the crowd". I know everyone feels that way sometimes, but I feel such a misfit over and over again, from childhood till now.

My strangeness began because of something over which I had no control - I was tall. I mean a head taller than everyone, especially boys (grimace) from about second grade on. An unusually early onset of puberty added to my "uniqueness" at the tender age of 10. And my grade school was messed up - girls were embarrassed if they needed to wear a bra, not proud.

I guess all preteens and most teens have an intense desire to be "one of the crowd" and not stick out. Sadly for me, not only did I not have a bunch of "cool" friends in middle school, I got voted "Tallest Girl" in eighth grade. Great. Thank You. That did wonders for my ego.

I think the feather in my wierdness cap came when the boy I'd had a crush on for at least three years started calling me, "Big Sue!" in a friendly way, as in "Hey Big Sue! How ya doin' today?" Not exactly the kind of attention I was looking for.

In high school I continued my path of bizarreness by shunning and sneering on anyone who I considered "normal", ie. cheerleaders, school govt. people...etc. I became a stoner, an outcast. I globalized my antipathy for all things mainstream when I spent a summer in rural Mexico, realizing that my Walnut Creek (and probably all of America) world was incredibly privileged and ignorant of how others lived. Cut me a little slack here, I was sixteen and seventeen and thought that I knew what was right, and that everyone else was wrong. Doesn't everyone feel that way at that age?

In college I mostly put my head down, studied and avoided all the partying and sleeping around that my private Catholic school peers indulged in. OK, I partied a little. Met my hubby, became a democrat and swore that I would never take a job that was "just a cog in a wheel". Instead, after college I took crummy, low paying jobs in nonprofits which I mostly hated.

When motherhood came along, once again I chose my own path - homebirth. I know, I know, I've heard all the arguments against it. But I felt safer at home. So I did it - three times. Yep, three home births all safe and sound. That decision is probably one of the best ones I made in my whole life. I'm so glad I didn't do what everyone else was doing - going into the hospital, taking pitocin and epidurals and ending up with a C-section - yuck. (no offense if you did it that way).

When my son was four and I started thinking about sending him to kindergarden, I started to feel sick in my gut, my intuition. I had heard about homeschooling from my sister-in-law and when I tried that on for size I got all excited. Long story short, I am now homeschooling all three of my kids.

"Oh, I could NEVER do that! You must be so patient!" is the most common reaction I get when someone learns that I homeschool. Really, I'm not known for my patience. I just look at educating my kids like it's my career. My job. And I do the best I can because I want to. But, one again, it places me out of the mainstream.

And now? Let's see....we don't have TV, I read the Bible to my kids (among other things!), I don't have cool clothes, and probably craziest of all I am totally into Ron Paul. I am still wierd!

Do I do anything that is normal? Let me think....I wear jeans - that's pretty common, my kids take swim lessons, my husband is a techie, I like to eat, we live in a house..........oh! I color my hair (for some unknown reason my hair turned dark when I had kids). I think most ladies my age do that.

Sometimes it is lonely to not be a part of the crowd. When people make American Idol references and look at my like I'm crazy when I say, "What is that?", when folks at a party do endless shots of tequila (I'll have my wine, thanks), when people talk about our government as if it has the right to do everything it does....well, I just don't fit in.

But I suppose the alternative is not to do what I think is right. No can do. So....

¡Vive le difference!

Web Junkie

Oh no.

The destiny I have tried to avoid for years is creeping up on me. I am becoming addicted to the web. I can't help it! There is so much fun, crazy, interesting, insightful, disgusting, mind opening, silly, challenging stuff out there. Plus I can add my own strangeness to the mix. What could be more fun?

It is a bit sad. I wake up in the morning, get my Peet's coffee and nestle down in my cozy ergonomic chair and check, well, everything online. You know what is strange? The thing that got me going was my interest in Ron Paul (that guy running for Prez). I didn't know about all those other sites before I saw them on his homepage. Digg. Technorati. MeetUp. And then, when I research news about him, I find all these other cool news sites. It is endless!

So, today I registered with BlogHer. It's a site for women bloggers. I think they have to approve of this site before they list my blog there, so we'll see.

I suppose I am allowing myself the latitude to check online twice (OK, sometimes three times) a day because it is summer. During the school year I limit myself to 15 min. in the morning and half an hour to an hour at night (after baby is in bed). But summer time means no school, no getting my kids to do stuff all day long (we homeschool). I'm freeeeeee.

But I am keenly aware that my three kids see me enthralled by the computer screen for, well more than they should. I should probably cut back soon. Oh, the empathy I feel for addicts! I'm giving myself until September, then it's back to just checking and answering emails and reading the headlines. Sniff.

Until then....http://digg.com/
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/
http://blogher.org/topic/politics-news?tab=all-posts
http://ogblay.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/RonPaul2008dotcom
http://slashdot.org/
http://www.sfgate.com/
http://www.fff.org/whatsNew/index.asp
http://www.antiwar.com/

Aaahhhhh.........

Tri4Fun

Why yes, it was fun.

After a solid hour drive I arrived at Lake somethingorother in Pleasanton. There were lots of healthy looking folks with bikes milling around. I was nervous. And alone. I didn't have to heart to make my kids and hubby get up at 5am with me, so I was on my own. No crew!

I registered. I hit the potty - whew! I got all my gear set around my bike. Now, I wondered, what is the swim course? Following the herd of thin people in shorts and bathing suits I made my way to the start. My wave was the 4th one: Woman under 40 (not too much longer!)

For the swim I employed my strategy of starting way on the side, not getting in the middle of the huge group (elbows and feet in the face are no fun). The only problem was that the lake was DIS-GUS-TING! My feet sank into the slippery, slimy bottom up to my ankles. Eeeeewwww! What is that? Anyways, the swim was great. My crew wasn't there to tell me where I came out, but I'm pretty sure I was relatively towards the front of the pack.

Next, the bike. What fun! What exhilaration! "On your left" flowed from my lips as I whizzed (me! whiz!) by at least 10 other cyclists. Granted the course was mostly flat and was only 13 miles, but it was EASY. I wasn't huffing and puffing the whole time. I enjoyed the scenery. The bookoodolores spent on the bike was well spent.

Then, the run. Ugh. Hills. Too many hills. Up and down. Up and down. I was tired. Actually my legs were fine, but my lungs were letting me know exactly how fast (read, not very) I could go. So, the people I passed on the bike along with many others probably passed me on the run. But by that time I really didn't care. Because I knew I was al-most-done!

Running across the finish line is always a rush. But it was kind of sad to run across, grab a gatorade and think, "Well, I guess I'll go home now." No one to cheer or congratulate me. Oh well, that's OK. There's always the Sandman in a few weeks. Santa Cruz here I come!

Pre Tri Nerves

Yikes.

My first (albeit by far the easiest) sprint triathlon of the season is tomorrow. It will be fourth tri, but I'm still nervous. Plus it's an hour drive away and starts at 7am! Who plans these things? I mean I AM a morning person but this is crazy. I have to wake up at 5:00am, be out of the house in 15-20 minutes to get there in time to register, get my gear in order and psyche out my competitors.

Hah! Psyche out my competitors! This tri isn't even timed it's so easy. It's actually called Tri For Fun. How hard can it be?

But still, I am not in the greatest of shape. And I have this bad habit of racing instead of, well,...just going along, I guess. Especially during the swim, I am incapable of allowing anyone to actually swim past me. I have to keep up. Sometimes I keep sprinting even when I am passing most everyone else. I can't help myself! But then I'm toast - all panty and heaving and ho-ing when I get out of the water. On the other hand, I don't really use my arms again for the rest of the tri, so why save them?

Then comes....the dreaded ride. Usually I'm huffing along on my 15 year old mountain bike while slick road bikes whiz past. But not this time! This time I've got my new, super duper, lightweight, yellow road bike! Hopefully I'll be faster and the ride will be easier, but either way I'll LOOK like I'm a good cyclist.

Finally, the run. The "OK, I'm almost done" part of the event. The "If I can just get half way there, the way back will be cake" part. The "Oh Boy! I'm almost done!" (endorphins rushing) part of the race. The "I did it! I am so awesome!" part. It is physically painful, but the emotional benefits of the run are great.

So tonight, I drink my sleepytime tea and head to bed early. A short date with David Copperfield (the book - can't figure out how to underline things yet) and hopefully off to dreamland by 9:30 or 10:00.

Thank you blog. I don't feel nervous anymore.

Wish me luck!

My first rally!

I've been to protests before, but never a rally. I protested against Bush Sr. when I was in college when he visited SF. Marched in SF twice against the war in Iraq.

But today I participated in my very first political rally in support of my main man Dr. Ron Paul. Sadly, you can't see me and my son in this video clip - we are smack in the middle of the crowd. But it gives you an idea of what is was like:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4585772929994309547&q=ron+paul+mountain+view&total=27&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1


I think there were about 5-600 people there....but I'm terrible with numbers. It was cool sitting in the sun checking out all the people showing up.

The most supreme moment for me was during a certain part of Dr. Paul's speech when he spelled out - almost word for word - what I wrote in my last blog! (you know, the part about individual rights). It was surreal, because one of my goals is to get better at articulating what I believe in and stand for. Hopefully I'm off to a good start.

After the rally, we went to a fundraising luncheon with 200 other intimate friends of Dr. Paul. I was bummed that right before he got to me and Richard in the handshaking/picture taking crowd, he was directed to his table by his campaign manager. Wah.

It was a decent lunch, chatting up people from Modesto and Google employees. Dr. Paul spoke again and these are the two ideas I came away with:

1.) The ideas of liberty and freedom are not radical - they are actually conservative and traditional (even though they seem crazy in today's world). It is actually our country's foreign policy which has engaged us in (undeclared) foreign wars for the last fifty years that is radical. It is the government's economic policy of printing up money when it runs out that is crazy.

2.) Freedom works. Morally, practically, economically, environmentally, securitarily :) Any way you cut it freedom works better as a political system than centrally planned, socialist, military industrial, special group biased, welfare states (in case you are wondering, this is what we have now)

At the end of the event, I was saying thanks to the organizer when I was broadsided by a man with a camera. "When did you first hear about Dr. Paul?"

"Uh...(deer in headlights)...I... ah...well....I had heard of him before, but I was so glad to hear he was running for president."

I can safely say ALL my responses were lame. Mostly because I was nervous and embarrassed. I didn't know where to look! The camera? The guy? Someone else? Duh....

My sweetie son made me feel better later. He said, "Mom, you said just what I said when I was interviewed." "What was that?" I asked. "The truth."

OK - I can live with that.

Go Ron Paul!

What IS a democrat?

I am trying to figure out how a staunch democrat will argue with me about Ron Paul (what he represents, really). After starting a few times, I realize that I'm a bit confused about what democrats stand for (other than being against all things Republican).

More money (taxes) for education? the environment? old and sick people? poor people? basically anyone who needs help? I've heard it said that democrats believe that government has a role to play in making life "better". Have I got it? Or am I way off?

What ARE the fundamental principles of democrats? I really wonder.

I googled "principles of democrats" and found this Declaration of Progressive Principles.

"Through government, we honor our responsibility to promote the common good."
That is the most nebulous, impossible to define statement! What is the common good anyways?

"America must keep a watchful eye on the economy to ensure fairness, transparency and genuine opportunity for all."
This keeping a "watchful eye on the economy" is just a code word for centralized economic planning, ie. socialism!

"recognizing that with the great freedoms afforded us comes an even
greater responsibility to see that those freedoms are extended to all people in all places"
- freedom and democracy for the whole world? how? at the point of a gun? why does it follow that because we have freedom it is our responsibility to give/force freedom on the rest of the world? is that even possible? look where it's gotten us so far....

OK. I am going to channel my intense desire to rant about how democrats are just socialists in disguise (as well intentioned as they may be) into a positive statement about what I believe.

I believe that the purpose of government is to protect our individual rights.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness - That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men..."

Our rights are not granted by the government, they preexist government, hence they are "unalienable".

What are those rights?
- The right life, liberty and property.
- Freedom of speech, press, assembly and religion.
- Due process of law, fair trial, and freedom from self-incrimination, cruel and unusual punishment and being held in jeopardy twice for the same crime.

I do NOT include the following as unalienable, natural rights:
- the right to food, shelter, health care, retirement income, and other goods provided by the government.

BECAUSE: 1.) They require that property (taxes) be taken by force from some to be redistributed to others, and 2.) History has shown that this ultimately leads to a tyrranical form of government which violates (the first and proper set of) individual rights.

The rights of liberty and property are the logical extensions of the right to life. How can you preserve your life (right to life) if you are not free to act as you see fit (liberty)? We are the owners of our lives (liberty). And when we work to support our life, and our labors accrue value to land or materials, those things become our property (right to property). It is nonsense to say that we are not the owners of our own labor. How would I be considered free to, say, grow a crop for my survival, if I'm not entitled to the harvest? To deny the right of property is to deny the rights of liberty and life.

I am not alone here. Read the Declaration of Independence. Check out the struggles that led up to it. Read John Adams. Read John Locke.

OK, so no one is really going to read those things. But the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not just loony! If you study ancient republics and our own history you will come to the same (or very similar) conclusions about the proper role of government (limited!).

Enough for tonight. This is good. I need to think about this stuff so I can actually talk about it.